One day in February 2018, it was a warm winter day, and most people probably don't remember what they did at that time.
But I will never forget it for the rest of my life, because:
On that day, my ears suddenly became deaf.
At that time, I was still enjoying the winter vacation, and I was watching a soap opera comfortably.
On the screen, the male protagonist is chasing the female protagonist in the rain to seek a compound...
Suddenly, the headphones in my right ear seemed to be silent, and the clear stereoscopic 3D surround sound turned into an unusually dull hum.
My right ear seemed to be in a breath, and a stuffy feeling surrounded me.
At that time, my first reaction was that the headphones were broken, and I was ready to unplug the headphones and stand up and move.
But at the moment of standing up, I felt that the sky was spinning, I was very nauseous, and the uncomfortable feeling surged into the Heavenly Spirit Cover, making me want to throw up.
Image source: Stand Cool Helo
Could it be that I have been weak to this extent during the winter vacation, staying up late to chase dramas, and having irregular schedules? Make up for a sleep may be able to slow down!
Say lie flat and lie flat, I lie down peacefully and rest.
I woke up to the sound of my little nephew calling for me to eat, and that time, the little nephew's voice was super loud, accompanied by a huge buzzing sound.
I grabbed my little nephew:
"Did you hear the sound outside, like exploding popcorn, rumbling?"
The little nephew shook his head like a rattle and laughed at me:
"Are you hungry".
I tensed up because I was pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating, and the rumbling in my ears was getting louder and louder.
Then, dizzy, weak, want to throw up, the back of the head seems to be blocked by something...
I didn't want my family to worry, so I didn't say anything, and when I ate, I not only tried to make myself look as usual, but also ate two bowls of rice silently, and the foodie attributes were exposed.....
Because it was so uncomfortable, I went to the town health center that afternoon.
The old doctor at the health center said that I felt like a temporary blockage in my ear caused by throat inflammation, so I should pay attention to my diet and take some anti-inflammatory drugs.
The next day, a friend came to my house to play with me, and I was in a state of being inaudible.
My friend was relieved and took me to a nearby hospital to see it, but the doctor also said that it was caused by a cold.
Four or five days passed like this, and my condition did not improve in the slightest. School was about to start, and my boyfriend, who was in the same place as my family, came to pick me up and go to the county to take a bus to school.
It was the first time I saw him after a "cold". At that moment, the feelings of grievance and discomfort came up at once, and the tears flowed out like two fountains.
I was usually cheerful and rarely cried in front of him, and I guess he was also scared by me at that time.
But when I was done crying, I had to learn to get on, and the car still had to be rushed.
Because I was physically uncomfortable, I basically walked for two minutes, and I had to stop for two minutes. After a short walk, my boyfriend took my bag and carried it over:
"Let's go, let's check it out again, I don't feel at ease to go to school like this!"
During this examination, the hospital initially judged that I was "otolithiasis", but because there was no relevant examination equipment, he suggested that I go to a larger hospital.
Only then did I clearly realize that what made me so uncomfortable was not a "cold" or "fire" at all, and it might be an ear problem.
On the same day, we rushed to a larger local hospital and hung up the ENT department. The doctor finally diagnosed my illness, but it also made me stupid:
Hearing tests show complete loss of hearing in the right ear, sudden deafness!
"Doctor, I didn't have any signs of this ear before, and my hearing has always been quite good!"
"Sudden deafness is basically like this, there is no sign, and it is difficult to find out the exact cause of the disease."
"Then is there any hope that I will be cured?"
"The goldenest treatment time for this disease is within 72 hours (but I should have been around day 8 at the time), and the probability of cure will be reduced, and our hospital does not currently accept patients with this condition."
Later, what the doctor said, I didn't listen to it at all, and I didn't know whether it was because I was really deaf or "selectively deaf."
My head went blank, and a voice played repeatedly inside:
I'm in my early twenties, deaf! And it may not be cured!
Coming out of the examination room and going to the hospital lobby, this short one-minute walk seems to have walked for a century.
Just as I was about to walk out of the hospital, my boyfriend stopped and asked me to wait for him where he was. He ran all the way back in the direction of the clinic.
It was about forty minutes before he ran back breathlessly and said breathlessly:
"Just now I asked the doctor again, and he said that as long as it is treated, there is hope for a cure. We can go to a bigger hospital, although the doctor says that the treatment process will be more painful, but are you willing to try? ”
"Also, my only thought now is to make you feel more comfortable first, at least you can not faint or vomit, and your body is not so uncomfortable."
"Whether our ears can hear or not in the future, I love you, I like what you become, and don't we have another ear?"
My tears were already swirling in my eyes, but I didn't expect him to say again:
"No matter how bad it is, I just learn sign language!"
Hahaha What is this? How suddenly I started to speak sign language! I had just half-brewed tears, and I was momentarily forced back by the urge to laugh.
He hugged me tightly, laughing, crying, dizzy and deaf:
"Didn't the doctor say that there is a one-third possibility, in fact, think about it, the hope is quite large, you have always been such a kind and optimistic girl, it will be the third!" 」
Although a long time has passed, I clearly remember that moment, the ears that have been stuffy, as if suddenly clear, can clearly hear the breathing sound in my ears, and the heartbeat when I hug me with my boyfriend, fluttering, fluttering... Firm and powerful!
I paused and answered him:
Okay, so let's try it!
At this time, the bell hanging in the hall pointed to six o'clock, and people began to walk out of the hospital one after another.
At this time, I really realized the sentence I had seen a long time ago: every ordinary person walking on the road is actually experiencing a battle that you don't know.
And my battle has only just begun...
The next day, we took the earliest train to see a doctor at the big hospital in Hefei.
Because the tickets were bought late and caught up with the school season, only the tickets without seats were left. During the six-hour rickety drive, I leaned on my boyfriend almost all the way, holding me up with his whole body.
But I still threw up as soon as I got out of the car.
At that time, he was pulling two boxes, and he had to help me who was sick and wanted to vomit from time to time, and I really hurt myself and hurt him.
The "hard work" is far from over.
Although fortunately, he was able to hang up the expert number, but the conclusion given by this doctor was almost the same as that of the previous doctor:
Sudden deafness, hearing loss is more serious, it is possible to cure, but it is also possible to be like this for a lifetime.
I've been running around for so long, but I don't see any hope. At that moment, I was really a little discouraged.
Coming out of the clinic, my boyfriend dragged the suitcase and sat side by side with me in a hospital chair. I peeked at him and saw that his eyes were red and he was quietly wiping away tears.
I knew he didn't want me to see his sadness, didn't want me to be discouraged. I thought I should say something, but I couldn't say anything.
He seemed to feel something too, and took my hand and squeezed it tightly a few times, as if to tell me that there must be a turnaround.
The turnaround is really coming.
Coincidentally, the doctor who had just seen me saw that we had not left, and deliberately came over and said: You can go to another hospital to try, maybe there are beds.
We didn't dare to delay any longer, grabbed our suitcases, and ran all the way to another hospital.
Stepping on the spot, the clinic is already closed.
After listening briefly to us about the situation, a nurse on duty suggested that we go directly to the inpatient department and, if we were lucky, might also meet the attending physician.
We hurried to the inpatient department again, and more coincidentally, the doctor had not left because of the meeting with the intern students.
One of the chief physicians looked at my examination form and said firmly, "If you can treat it, let the nurse arrange a bed for you!" ”
Just like that, I was received!
It is really "mountains and rivers are doubtful and there is no way, and the willows are dark and the flowers are bright and another village"!
The bed in the hospital was tight, and my bed at the time was an extra bed in the aisle.
After settling in, it was already the middle of the night, and after I was arranged to hang water in several large bottles, I was tired and confused and slept.
But the boyfriend did not dare to sleep, and later heard the nurse sister say that the boyfriend helped me see the hanging water until more than two o'clock in the morning, and after I pulled out the needle, he slept on the recliner for a while.
This is the first day of hospitalization
My boyfriend watched me hang up the water until more than two o'clock in the morning
After pulling the needle, he took a picture
▼
Hospitalization also allowed me to return to a long-lost normal routine:
Every morning at 6:30 a.m., the nurse would come to take my temperature and bring me the medicine I was going to take that day. Then came the long infusion suspension.
Around ten o'clock in the evening, I turned off the lights and went to sleep.
This is the ear sticker that was posted at the time
It is generally believed that the acute onset of deafness (within 3 weeks) is mostly an inner ear vascular lesion, just like cerebral infarction, which is blocked by cerebral blood vessels, and my sudden deafness is that the blood vessels in the inner ear are blocked.
So the medications used were mainly hormones and vegetative nerve medications that help woke up my hearing cells that suddenly "failed" and allowed blood to flow normally.
The doctor prescribed me hydrogenated prednisone, methylcobalamin, ginkgo biloba extract, batraeze and so on.
And to make these drugs work well, not only to eat, to drip, but also to inject.
One of the most terrifying aspects of treatment is "needles in the ear and hormone injections."
My patients who were older than me were too scared to do it, but every time I would say to the nurse, "Come on, it's all right," with a heroic and generous look.
My uncle and aunt, who were hospitalized with me, had to be amused by my "righteous awe" appearance every time.
They said that when they saw me like this, they were very happy and not afraid, and they praised me for being particularly optimistic.
Actually, I'm also afraid...
Two long, pointed needles poke into the eardrum, first a prick, and then you feel the drug filling the ear continuously.
Moreover, the ears, nose, and throat are also connected, and bitter drugs will flow down the ears into the throat, nasal cavity, and mouth.
After a long time after the treatment, the breath is the bitter taste of the drug, which is called a "sour".
When I wrote this text, I felt uncontrollably bitter.
But at that time, I was able to overcome that fear, thinking that it should be the power of love, and I didn't want my boyfriend to worry, so I had the courage to overcome my fear.
In addition to the injections, I also have to get needles for treatment.
The place that scared me the most was next to my ear, at the end of my cheekbone, a long, thin silver needle that was slowly swirling and digging into it.
Friends who see this posture for the first time are estimated to be frightened enough by this face.
After a needle draw, I felt a stream of heat on my right side slowly slide down my cheek, and yes, a stream of fleeing blood poured out. Later, half of the face was swollen, and the swelling slowly subsided after the ice pack was applied to the ice pack.
The intensive needle "training" accompanied me through eight days (the first cycle of treatment), and I ushered in the first review, which was the first "report card" of my eight days of painful treatment, and I thought it would give me the confidence to continue treatment.
However, the results of the review showed that there was no improvement.
At the moment of getting the report, I felt that it was unfair: Obviously I had worked very hard, slept enough, fully cooperated with the treatment, and took medicine and injections on time, but why was the recovery still not ideal?
But I think it is understandable - after all, the best treatment time is missed, and the doctor has also said that the treatment effect varies from person to person, and not all sudden deafness can be cured.
But I still couldn't face this result, and psychological worries and fears about "hearing loss" came back to me.
On the day the results of the review came out, the sky outside the hospital window was also gloomy.
My parents called to ask me about the situation, and I just said that I was going to be fine, but I still had to continue the treatment and consolidate it, and I didn't want them to worry about me when they were working outside.
Late that night, I suddenly woke up, opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling of the hospital, thinking that tomorrow after dawn, I would still have to face repetitive, painful and potentially useless treatments, and hearing that might not be able to be recovered at all.
Then in an instant, I walked to the window, and a very bad thought came up from the bottom of my heart:
There is helplessness, sadness, fear of life, confusion about the unknown...
If you haven't actually experienced it, it's hard to imagine the sense of despair that comes with wrapping these complex emotions together and flooding your mind.
But in that moment, I experienced it all.
I stared at my sleeping boyfriend for a moment. Because of taking care of me, he hadn't shaved in a long time, and the stubble and emaciated face on his face made him look as if he was a few years older.
There was also a bouquet of flowers on the table next to me, which he had secretly bought for me during the lunch break.
Even at night, the bouquet of flowers blooms so warmly.
Maybe it was this bouquet of flowers, and the power behind them, that pulled me back: even in the darkest of times, I should have worked hard to be worthy of the people who guarded me.
Flowers placed at the head of the bed
I walked over, dressed my boyfriend, and went back to sleep. The next day, I changed back to that "pistachio."
Soon, the second cycle of treatment was over, and this cycle-end review was also my last review before I was discharged from the hospital.
That morning, I deliberately washed my fragrant head and put on my favorite clothes, hoping that a brand new one would bring good luck to me.
My hearing test showed that my hearing had recovered 75 percent, the best recovery among the patients treated at the time.
After getting the results, I cried with my boyfriend again, but this time, we both cried with joy.
postscript
It's been almost three years since my right ear was suddenly "muted."
My hearing hasn't fully returned to its former condition. Sometimes my roommate whispers, and it's right next to my ear, and I still can't hear it.
Later, I also had persistent tinnitus. Especially in noisy environments, there will be buzzing bass or high notes in the ears.
If you stay up late for a long time, the frequency of occurrence will increase.
For the sake of face, I only shared my experience of sudden deafness with a very good friend at first.
So, when I was discharged from the hospital and returned to school, I would subconsciously reduce my communication with others.
In the past, I was optimistic and laughed, and I liked to talk about gossip, but in the eyes of some friends, I suddenly became "high and cold"...
Girls are relatively sensitive, so slowly I become a bit solitary and have a bit of a temper.
Then, by chance, a roommate learned of my illness and the experience, and while talking to me, she would creep up to my left.
Later, when I can't hear what others say, I will directly say: "I can't hear clearly, can I say it again?" ”
I have found that many things can actually be accepted by others. As long as you dare to cross the hurdle in your heart first and take the initiative to explain it to others, you can eliminate most of the barriers.
Except for the occasional tinnitus, I can now communicate completely without interruption, but since tinnitus has become a part of my life, I choose to accept it and try to ignore the interference it brings to me.
As for boyfriends
Now we're engaged
As for the causes of sudden deafness that everyone is very concerned about, I personally feel that there are 3:
First, stay up late for a long time, irregular work and rest, in this case, the body's immunity is relatively weak, easy to be "raided" by the virus.
The second is that I have been wearing headphones for too long, sometimes even from the time I open my eyes to sleep, I have not taken them off.
Moreover, during that time, I also looked down at the book for a long time, and the cervical spine was less active, resulting in poor blood flow around the ear.
Doctors have also stressed that excessive mental stress can also lead to sudden deafness.
Of course, even if you have protected yourself well sometimes, accidents can still occur, and the most important thing at this time is timely treatment!
(Teach you a trick, pretend not to be afraid when you get a needle, and imagine yourself as Ultraman, who doesn't even frown!) ）
Finally, I would like to say: friends, no matter what disease you are experiencing, you must not give up and live every day happily and hard.
I vouch for you from my experience that life will be a gift!
Published with permission from Bird of Thorn @ Zhihu. Author: Mu Yi Zero
Doctor reviews
This girl's experience can be said to be a very typical diagnosis and treatment process for patients with sudden deafness.
Sudden deafness usually occurs suddenly and without obvious triggering.
So at the beginning, many people didn't care much, and thought that they could be good, generally after a period of time, they still didn't see any improvement, and then they remembered to go to the doctor, but this time often passed the best time for treatment.
Sudden deafness is generally the earlier intervention, the better the prognosis. In addition, the degree of deafness and whether it is accompanied by vertigo will affect the prognosis.
This young girl had some delays from the therapeutic point of view.
However, under the guidance of her doctor, she adopted a treatment plan that was strictly guided by the guidelines for the diagnosis and treatment of sudden deafness.
Coupled with her own positive and optimistic attitude, as well as the care and care of the people around her, she was also very lucky to get good results in the end.
In the treatment of sudden deafness, the most effective drug recognized internationally is hormones, but many people will be afraid when they hear the word "hormones", and they will not agree with hormone therapy, which is easy to delay the disease.
Sudden deafness generally does not require surgery, but if the conventional treatment effect is not good, you can also try to use hyperbaric oxygen chambers and other means as a remedy.
However, this efficacy is currently controversial and is not recommended as the preferred treatment.
If hearing can only be partially restored after treatment, an auditory assist device, such as a hearing aid or cochlear implant, may also be considered.
The cause of sudden deafness is currently unknown, but it is generally believed that vasospasm and thrombosis in the inner ear are the main causes.
Therefore, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, avoiding excessive mental tension and fatigue, and ensuring that blood pressure is within a healthy range may play a role in preventing sudden deafness.
I wish this girl can continue to live such an optimistic and hard life, and can always look forward to the "gift" of life.