In 1917, Zhu Ziqing's grandmother died, and after the funeral, his father went to Nanjing to make a living, and Zhu Ziqing transferred from Nanjing to Beijing to attend university. At that time, Zhu Ziqing was in his 20s, and he always felt that his father's behavior was superfluous, but before driving, the back of his father who went to buy oranges for his children became the most unforgettable memory in Zhu Ziqing's mind.
In his memories, Zhu Ziqing saw his father in his 40s climbing up and down on the railway, watching his father approach and walk away, and he felt his father's love expressed through oranges. Later, no matter how bad he and his father fought, he could recall these warm memories given by his father, so that he could forge ahead in the midst of hardships and hardships.
Indeed, these happy memories can make us not take them out to dry, just like Lin Huiyin said: on the stem of memory, who does not have two or three lotus flowers, draped in emotions. No matter how hard people have had such and such happy memories, how do we store these happy memories in our brains, so that every time we fall into difficulties, we can remember a little sweetness of the past, and then pack up our mood and start again?
In the "world's happiest people", the DANISH Happiness Institute CEO Mike In Wiggin's latest warm-hearted work, Why I Only Remember You: How to Make Happy Memories And Make Ordinary Days Meaningful, he based on the stories of 1,000 people in 70 countries and the results of a survey of happy memories in their lives that tell us that memories can be created, and that making good use of those good memories will make our lives happier.
01, plot memories, so that the memory lasting new
Opening "Siege of the City", Qian Zhongshu said that when I first met you, my heart had exploded into fireworks, and I needed to spend my life cleaning the ash stove. Seeing the scene at the beginning of love described by Qian Lao, I always couldn't help but raise the corners of my mouth. The author's superb writing ability makes us resonate with the protagonist's experience, and we involuntarily follow the author's ideas and build a memory palace in our minds, allowing us to bring the characters and plot into the story very well.
For this way of recalling, the author calls it a plot recollection, which focuses more on your past experiences. Ndel Tolven, a psychologist at the University of Toronto, believes that the key to determining whether a recollection is a plot recall is whether the recall has the ability to traverse.
When we go back to the details of our past lives, we have to show our lives from our own perspective and according to the logic of how things change. For example, the first encounter, the first meeting, the four eyes facing each other, passing by, looking back by default...
02 Treat your memories with heart
In the selective memory test, the subject asked to pay attention to how many times the person wearing the white coat passed the ball in total during the experiment.
Throughout the experiment, there were 3 players dressed in white, 3 players dressed in black, who walked back and forth around the court, during which time a man in gorilla clothes came out and punched his chest. After the test, many testers did not believe that there were such ridiculous details in the test, and they only noticed that the player in white passed the ball a few times.
But if our focus isn't the point, and we're all exposed to sources of information, how do we spot the highlights that are hidden in the daily trivialities? The author suggests that at this time, we must stop and pay attention to the elements that can be put into the happy memory scene, such as smelling flowers, such as looking at the surrounding scenery, jumping up and feeling the physical state at that time.
This little bit of memory may really pry the door of your memory.
03 Give memories a different meaning
In the study of happy memories, 37% of happy memories were given a different meaning, and then these special days would be remembered over and over again, and then become an indelible brand in the heart. In addition to special days, we also remember certain special moments.
For example:
The joy of our children being born, the family;
On a cold night, someone left us a lamp;
In times of difficulty, others extend their hands to help;
……
These moments often connect with the people closest to us – parents, partners, friends, children. Because it's important, we try to find ways to remember them, and to remember these fragments, the author believes that first of all, we must connect the fragments to bind ourselves to the world's resume, and secondly, it is to find the feeling of completing the goal, to establish one goal after another.
Zhang Ailing said that the opportunity to hide in childhood memories is pleasant. Deeply believed, after all, life has been painful, and it is also very happy to have good memories of the past to support us in the future. "Why I Only Remember You" is a book that people will never forget, and I believe that when we learn to store good memories in a limited brain, we can laugh and say in difficult times, it is good to have good meetings in this life, and it is good to have you and us in the memories.