Author | Fan Deng Reading · Chelsea
Anchor | Fan Deng Reading · Anthony
There is a sentence in "This Life That Cannot Be Crazy At Will":
Before we can blame others, we must first understand a truth:
Can you first withstand the rhetorical questions and tests of others? ”
I once saw a netizen's complaint on a forum:
After work, she waited in the lobby with her children.
The children could not sit still, jumping up and down and having fun, and the security guards invited them out in the name of disturbing the rest.
Netizens were very dissatisfied, so they had a big fight with the security guards.
She repeatedly stressed: That is the security guard's working hours, should be good work, why bother him to rest?
And hope to get the approval of others.
However, the first reply was: "That is indeed a public place, right?" ”
She was dumbfounded.
In life, are we like this friend?
It is often easy to blame others and judge them, but few people can always reflect on their words and deeds.
The famous Italian painter Mori once said:
"One of the weaknesses of human nature is that both eyes are used to looking at the outside world, but they rarely examine themselves.
So we have to look at the world with one eye and leave the other eye to examine ourselves. ”
The most difficult self-discipline for a person is self-examination.
I saw a jaw-dropping report.
A 29-year-old man with sound limbs and good health walks into the legal aid center hoping to sue his father for insubordination.
It is even said with great boldness: I hope the country has clear laws, parents raise the child until the age of 18, if the child has not been able to rely on himself, have to take care of him for a lifetime, until death.
The father was helpless after knowing this, and complained that under his supervision, the son had done some work in the past few years, but he could not insist.
Do carpentry, complaining that it is too hard; when you are a barber apprentice, complain that the master deliberately makes things difficult;
Moving bricks to the construction site, complaining that it is too hot and tired; being a hotel cook, complaining that it is very tired, and even the plate cannot be lifted...
Later, he simply went home and lay flat and let the old father provide for him.
The old father, in order to make his son self-sufficient, threw him out of the house. He still didn't know how to reflect, and the opening scene appeared.
A strong young man, if he knows that the root of everything is his own good food and lazy cooking.
Don't complain about work, don't blame your parents, and do a job to support yourself, how can you get to such a dilemma?
As the saying goes: villains are not wrong, gentlemen often pass.
Do we have such moments in our lives?
If you want to improve yourself and learn a new knowledge for a few days, you feel that it is too difficult and give up.
Busy, the old man in the family is sick, complaining in his heart that the old man can't help and add to the chaos.
After working for many years, I accidentally found that the salary was no better than a new person, and I was indignant and blamed on the boss for being too ignorant and good at using people.
However, even if you blame others, the problem remains a vicious circle that bothers you.
In fact, when you use one finger to point at someone else, don't forget that there are three fingers pointing at yourself.
A person who only knows how to complain and blame others, masks the possibility of finding problems, and inevitably puts himself in trouble.
Children only know how to complain, adults can only solve problems.
The hardest thing in the world is never to solve the problem, but I could have found the problem.
Instead of complaining that things are not going well, it is better to reflect on yourself.
Xu Changde said: People who do not have the ability to make themselves better certainly do not have the ability to introspect themselves.
A person who often reflects on himself naturally has the ability to make himself better.
Yang Mi is a popular actress known to everyone, and over the years, everyone has seen her unlimited scenery.
However, she revealed herself in the guest "Those Things of Youth" and once had the tragic experience of being temporarily replaced by the crew.
Yang Mi, who was born as a child star, won various awards all the way, and became a well-known public figure at the age of 20 because of his starring role in "Condor Heroes".
However, after becoming famous, Yang Mi was full of superiority in his heart and began to swell. When the crew asked her to shoot a scene, she often refused, and she only wanted to have fun.
Because she is often absent, even the crew that has been fixed will temporarily replace her.
At this time, she realized that she was not superior enough to be irreplaceable, nor did she have any proud capital.
She said on the show:
"That's when I got into the habit of finding faults for myself and finding out all kinds of shortcomings for myself.
In the past few years, I desperately filmed because I was afraid of being replaced, and at that time, I let myself go to film every day and squeezed out 200% of my energy to work.
Every day is too busy to have time to cry. For example, after finishing work at 3 or 4 a.m., getting up at 6 a.m. and going to shoot again, spending 5 minutes crying is better than sleeping more, otherwise what will happen tomorrow? ”
Every step of the road taken in this world counts, and if you do not reflect in time, you may always be in the same place or even backwards.
And people who often reflect, every step is forward.
"The Ferryman" once asked such a sentence:
If fate is a lonely river, who will be the ferryman of your soul?
In fact, where in the world is there any soul ferryman? A hand held out by someone else can only help you for a while.
Life sea sea, we will encounter countless difficulties, after all, we still need to cross ourselves.
Introspection is a sword in our hands that helps us see ourselves, adjust ourselves, renew ourselves, and break down obstacles.
In his youth, Leo Tolstoy was playful, gambling, and debauched.
It was very painful when he found that many people who were inferior to him were far superior to him in all aspects.
He reflected on himself in his diary and listed the 8 most fatal shortcomings:
Lack of fortitude; self-deception; less youthful and floating winds; lack of humility;
Temper is too hot; life is too indulgent; imitation is too strong; lack of introspection.
This time of reflection, let him see himself completely.
Determined to end his life of debauchery and correct his bad habits one by one, he came to an artillery unit in the Caucasus to temper himself, and also began to embark on the road of literary creation, and eventually became a literary hero.
Socrates said: The unexamined life is not worth living.
Everyone who wants to be better should always look at their own lives.
In fact, no matter what, you can try to ask yourself the following 3 questions:
1. Why do you want to do this?
2. Did it succeed or fail? What did you learn from it?
3. What would you do if you encountered something similar again?
Life is like a chess piece, only often review, can you improve, and the strength of refinement is enough to surprise you.
Take a look at the following image:
Put this picture into your own life, even if the progress of 0.01, if you persist to every day, after 365 days, it is 38 times the progress.
But if you don't reflect, you step back a little bit every day, and after a year, you will have very little left.
In the long run, people who introspect and do not introspect, the difference is the whole life.
The most regrettable thing in this world is that I never asked for it, but I could have.
Stop complaining so you can recognize yourself;
Introspection, in order to change themselves;
Continuous improvement, in order to achieve their own achievements.
Master Hui Said, "Conquering the world is not great, but a person who can conquer himself is the greatest person in the world." ”
There has never been a glorious achievement in this world, and some are just persistent self-discipline.
Click "Watching" and encourage your book friends.
Author | Chelsea: Thirteen years of foreign trade elite, the mother of two boys, all the way to the light of writing, never gave up.
Editor-in-Chief | A doctor
Typography | Come slowly
Music | pfau