If fate were a lonely river, who would be your ferryman?
This is a sentence in the novel "The Ferryman", and it is also a reflection on life.
The protagonist of the novel, Dylan, a single-parent family, lives a 15-year-old life in a mess: she has nothing to say to her mother, and is bullied by her classmates at school.
So she took a train to visit her father, whom she had not seen for a long time, but unfortunately became the only victim because of the accident. She became a lonely soul in the wilderness.
At this time, who can cross Dylan's soul and take her out of the wasteland?
Each of us will encounter countless troubles in life, and we all hope that someone will help us tide over the difficulties and hope that there will be noble people to help us.
However, it was not until the moment when we crossed the hill and found that no one was waiting that it was fully understood:
The only person who can ferry Dylan in the end is herself, and in the end, only we can live a good life.
A person's true maturity is to quietly be his own ferryman.
01
There is a saying that goes: "People who always pin their hopes on others will only end up disappointed." ”
In The Ferryman, there is an old man named Eliza.
When her soul came to the wasteland, she missed her husband and wanted to go back to him.
But if you want to return to the human world, you have to cross the wasteland and open the door connecting the two worlds.
The door was locked, and she didn't want to make the effort to find the key. Moreover, the process of crossing the wasteland is very dangerous, and it is very likely that she will be swallowed up by the demon if she is not careful, and she cannot afford this risk.
After a long struggle, she still gave up. She chose to wait in the wilderness for her husband to find herself.
She waited for centuries, and finally did not wait for her husband, and she lost her lover forever.
Man, in this way, is infinitely waiting, exhausted little by little.
Everything in the world is full of uncertainty, and placing one's expectations on others will only become more and more passive.
Truly intelligent people always know that being their own ferryman is the best way to solve problems.
Therefore, when Dylan clarified his intentions, he decided to return to the wasteland and go alone to find his lover Tristan, and finally brought him back to the human world.
As there is a saying in Les Misérables: "I would rather open my future on my own strength than seek the favor of the powerful." ”
Remember what your first reaction was when you encountered difficulties?
Is it to vent grievances and grief to friends? Or are you in a hurry to look through the address book and think that someone can pull you along?
In fact, the only thing you can rely on is yourself.
Instead of waiting for someone to send an umbrella when it rains, it is better to put a spare one in the bag and learn to hold an umbrella for yourself.
When you walk out of the predicament of life alone, you will find that you have already lived into a thousand horses.
At this time, you have begun to be better than your past self, and you are more powerful than the previous you.
02
Sanmao once sighed:
"The heart is like a thousand and one miles, and there is no boat that can cross people, except for self-crossing, and others cannot help it."
In the torrent of life, throughout our lives, we are learning how to be our own ferrymen.
- Adjust your mindset.
On the way out of the wilderness, Dylan complained about why the wasteland could not be slightly flattened, and the desolate mountains were all in front of him, and it was always uphill.
Tristan says it's all Dylan's "fault."
Because, the so-called wasteland is actually a projection of the mind.
When people are angry, it is overcast, windy, and dark. The more gloomy a person's heart is, the darker the night becomes.
Too often, we're like Dylan.
How much we can't collapse in life is because the storm in our hearts can't stop.
Occasionally misunderstood, I feel that the whole world is a cold gun and a dark stick; when the bad thing comes, I think that the sky has fallen, and I am not doing anything as I want.
At a certain age, I know that life is like this, living is the mood, but living is the mentality.
Netizens @Mojito shared a piece of their own experience.
Once in an emotional trough, she could not do anything to lift her spirits. It wasn't until her body lit up that she realized she couldn't stay in the quagmire of negative emotions.
She began to read a lot, drawing inspiration from other people's stories; she deliberately stayed away from the circle that made her anxious, and eventually persuaded herself to let go of her competitive spirit.
In her diary, she wrote:
"If you can't solve the problem for a while, then use this opportunity to see your own limitations and correct yourself."
As the old saying goes, let go of a thought, and feel at ease.
If you're disturbed by distractions, learn to cut it off.
Cut off the cranky thoughts, discard the garbage emotions, and leave the negative energy.
If the mentality is good, it is not so tired, the mood is good, and all you see is a bright scenery.
- Don't care what other people think.
Later, Dylan intends to return to the wasteland in search of Tristan.
At this time, there was no one else around to protect her, and she could only face the various demons that appeared on the wasteland alone.
While crossing the Cold Lake, Dylan is the target of all demons.
Once, the demon attacked her, and Dylan closed his eyes in fear.
She thought she would be caught and torn to shreds, but surprisingly, nothing happened.
It turned out that when Dylan closed her eyes and couldn't see the appearance of the demon dancing with its teeth and claws, the demon couldn't hurt her.
Next, she turned her heart sideways, and she closed her eyes and groped for the oars, and then rowed to the shore with all her strength.
In life, we will always meet people who don't like us.
Their gossip, sometimes like the demons of the wasteland, can slander us.
As long as we close our eyes and don't care about the evaluation of others, we can walk our own path steadily.
Some time ago, there was a post-95 girl Xiaoli on the Internet who was particularly hot.
Xiaoli spent 10 years of savings and bought a woolen house, because she had no money to renovate, she even lived in it directly.
People around her don't understand, she is a girl, so frugal to buy a house, why bother?
In the face of external doubts, Xiaoli only said the following words:
"Some of them are still a little more reliable, living in their own houses, even if they are rough houses, living in them is also very comfortable."
We don't have to use other people's rulers to measure our own lives.
There will always be a voice in your ears:
You work hard, he says you're a "struggling spirit"; you follow your own track, and he says it's all about "detours".
At this time, the best way is to block out the noise of the outside world.
You grit your teeth and continue to climb up, and every time you take a step up, you will find that there are many fewer cold guns and dark arrows in life.
When you stand on the mountain, look back, the ridicule and ridicule of the past are just passing clouds.
- Cultivate yourself in solitude.
I remember a writer who said, "The path of practice is always lonely, because wisdom necessarily comes from loneliness." ”
The moment Dylan decided to be her own ferryman, she was doomed to face the dangers ahead alone.
Without Tristan's protection, she fought the demons all the way. In the safe house, she built a fire to warm herself and washed the mud from her clothes with water.
Without Tristan's comfort, she took a deep breath countless times when she wanted to cry, and then put her fear aside.
Even if the sense of despair was about to suffocate her, she tried to free herself from the negative emotions, telling herself: "Today is different from the past, and I am no longer the same as before." ”
There is a sentence in "One Hundred Years of Solitude":
"The brilliance that fate once had must be repaid with loneliness after all."
Life will eventually be a solo journey, loneliness before is confusion, loneliness after is growth. ”
Life is a lonely practice.
Who hasn't been caught off guard by life countless times, crying bitterly in the middle of the night, but continuing to rush in the early morning?
Who is not in the unbearable mud, and is used to carrying everything and climbing out step by step?
Growing up, nothing can sharpen a person's mentality more than loneliness.
When a person is not afraid of loneliness, willing to be lonely, and good at cultivating himself in solitude, that moment is the beginning of his maturity.
03
At the end of the Story of The Ferryman, Dylan's soul returns to her body and meets Tristan again.
She became her own ferryman and lived the life she wanted.
As the writer Martin put it:
"Every powerful person has gritted his teeth and gone through a period of time when no one was helping, no one was supporting, and no one was booing and greeting.
Passing, begging for forgiveness, this is your bottomless pit, but in the past, this is your rite of passage. ”
After surviving countless cold nights, I finally understood that if people do not cross themselves, the sky will be difficult to help.
Every next step, just root deeper, and then take a step forward, you can meet a better and stronger self.