01
Someone said, "The better a person is, the less friends he has." ”
Thinking along this line of thinking, you will think: those who quit the circle of friends are excellent.
Facts and imaginations are very different. Everyone has a different lifestyle and experience, and the original intention of doing things is not simple.
If you observe carefully, you will find that most of the people who disappear from the eyes are divided into the following three types, and they can see through it, and there is no need to bother.
02
People who have lost their lives will choose to quit the circle of friends, and when he gets better, he will naturally come back.
The "Song of Returning to the Hometown" reads: "The three festivals of returning to the countryside are hung with brocade clothes, and Wu Yue and the king of Wu Yue return to the horse." ”
At the end of the Tang Dynasty, when Qian Wei was born, he looked very ugly, and his parents decided to throw him away. The grandmother was reluctant and took him with her.
When Qian Wei was a child, he played with his playmates, but because of his poor family and being abandoned by his parents, he was often ridiculed.
When he was in his twenties, his hometown of Lin'an County recruited township heroes, and he signed up decisively.
After many years of conquest, he not only made great achievements in battle, but also established the State of Wu Yue.
As the king of a country, Qian Wei returned to his hometown in a high profile, feasted on his father and fellow countrymen, and draped the place where he played when he was a child with silk belts.
Although face is not valuable, people want face after all.
There is a saying that when people are poor, no one looks down on them. The face of the poor is worthless; even if they speak in front of their relatives, they dare not speak loudly.
Therefore, when a person is poor, he has self-knowledge and will fade out of the circle of friends. He wanted someone to come, but he wouldn't count on it. In his bones, he held his breath and wanted to be famous.
You go and bother a very poor man and he will think that you are laughing at him instead of helping him. You don't look close and push him secretly, which is the best help.
If you attend a class reunion, you will find that some classmates will not come to pull him. It's not that he doesn't care about his classmates, but that he's mixed up very badly and is embarrassed to come. Only after he has the courage of "returning to his hometown" will he take the initiative to return to the group of classmates.
By analogy, friends, relatives, and colleagues in the past will all obstruct face and leave the circle. You don't have to bother.
03
People who come and go alone, quit the circle of friends, do not want to be disturbed.
Someone said: "Gregarious is the loneliness of a group of people, and being alone is a carnival of one person." ”
When a person sees through the warmth and coldness of human feelings, he will slowly fade out of the circle of friends. He was like a lonely tree, he didn't want a vine to wrap around him, and it didn't matter if anyone liked it.
"One Hundred Years of Solitude" writes: "Whether we are born, we grow, we love each other, or we succeed or fail, until the end, loneliness exists like a shadow in a corner of life." ”
If you carefully comb through the WeChat circle of friends, you will find that many friends have not sent a circle of friends for a long time. When you contact him with questions, he will open the phone every day, and he will also look at the circle of friends, but never leave a trace.
In the Eight Parts of the Heavenly Dragon, there is a sweeping monk who has been doing one thing for most of his life: cleaning the Tibetan Scripture Cabinet.
When Xiao Yuanshan's father and son and Murong Bo's father and son were fighting each other, they stood up and said, "When will it be time to repay such grievances?" It is better that all the sins of the world belong to me. ”
In addition to his martial arts prowess, what was even more admirable was that he had insight into all the disputes between martial arts masters. Xiao Yuanshan, Murong Bo, and others, what grievances they had, what martial arts they had practiced, what diseases they had left behind, and what pain they had brought, all of them were clearly explained.
One philosopher put it well: "Observation without comment is the highest form of observation." ”
A person who insists on going it alone is not completely free from society, nor is he pretending to be high, but he is used to being a bystander, seeing through it and not saying it thoroughly, and pretending to be confused with understanding.
In the eyes of everyone, loneliness is frightening, but in the eyes of solitary people, loneliness can be enjoyed, just like tea tasting. Just like a poem - raise a glass to invite Mingyue, to the shadow into three people, where is the loneliness?
You like to be gregarious, that's your choice, don't force others to be like you; he likes to be lonely, you don't bother, and he doesn't bother to walk with you.
04
People who are thriving, have found the right circle, and do not want to be held back by low-level circles.
The ancients said: "The poor are in the downtown area and no one asks, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." ”
Everyone wants to meet wealthy relatives and friends and then be pulled along.
In fact, the rich don't help people casually. Because he still wants to continue to go higher, if there is a group of poor people behind him, he will feel a burden.
Lü Mengzheng, the prime minister of the Northern Song Dynasty, was expelled by his father when he was a child, and his relatives also kept a distance from him. During the New Year, he went to borrow food and clothes, and his relatives refused.
After Lü Mengzheng became a high school official, his relatives came to celebrate, but he posted a couplet, which means "you don't accompany you at sunset on the western mountain, and who you are in the east mountain." Explain the human feelings thoroughly, throw away the love face, and be okay with each other in the future.
He wrote in the "Cold Kiln Endowment": "The first poor gentleman, natural bone formation; rich and small people, do not get rid of the cold body." How can Fluke demand, rich and noble who do not want? ”
People have backbones and resentments. If you don't extend a warm hand when others are down, then when others are developed, they will naturally abandon you.
Whether you are worried about being dragged down or calculating not to help, people at a higher level than you, don't bother.
According to the saying that things are clustered in groups, only when you and him are equal in level, you can always come and go, and no one will suffer losses in such communication.
05
There are thousands of miles to meet, no reason not to meet on the other side.
Who can say clearly about the gathering and dispersion of feelings? Even if you are a very kind person, you will lose your friends because you are misunderstood.
Whether it is friendship, love, or family affection, the ultimate goal is not to be together all the time, but to cherish fate and get used to separation. It's really hard to find someone to chat with anytime, anywhere.
Therefore, for the person who quit the circle of friends, you should not bother, just silently say: If you are well, it is a sunny day.
Perhaps, the best feeling is – I've been following you, in every way you know or don't know.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.