The price of mutual love is not only physical mutual attraction, the price of mutual love is more of a mutual comfort in the soul, and love is that two people give each other a warm harbor under the cruelty of this society.
Love
The so-called passion period, in layman's terms, is the moment when the sea vows and the mountain alliance and the moon before the flower, we will experience a peak experience of life, as if we have come to heaven, this feeling is very wonderful and very unusual. But how long is such a moment? Science has done surveys and statistics on this, the shortest is four months, the longest will not exceed a year and a half. This shows that the period of passion has a certain material effect and is time-limited.
Science has found that when we are in a state of love passion, the feeling of brain activity is very similar to the feeling of drug addiction, when the brain is mainly stimulated by dopamine and endorphins, which will bring us a strong sense of pleasure and a strong sense of attraction to each other. This strong feeling, since it is an intrinsic material stimulus, there will be a moment of demise, and there is a time limit.
After the deadline has passed, what should I do next? The next thing is the difference between humans and animals. In fact, human beings can have such a long period of passion has been very different from animals. Animals don't care about the passion period, it is the estrus period, and once the estrus period is over, the female and male have no interest in each other. The period of human passion can be roughly equal to the period of estrus of an animal, which may seem a bit of a wound to our self-esteem, but that's the way it is.
The institution of marriage points to a lifelong relationship. If our relationships are organized and processed purely by hormones, the relationship between people and people is short-term. These factors that create short-term effects do not match a real, real emotion.
What does it have to do with short-term attractiveness? The first is our appearance, voice, language and action, etc., in general, some external attraction. Everyone has some special qualities, for example, the literati are attractive for love poems, the athletes are attractive for muscles, and the beauty is attractive for her figure and face. Each type of person has some of his own qualities that can form an external attraction.
Once these external attractions arise, our period of passion begins, and when they die, our period of passion cannot be sustained. Many women will say that after thirty years of age a woman begins to decline, and forty years old is like a cabbage to be sold cheaply in the evening, and she is old and faded. There is also a view that men are animals with lower bodies, and they only care about the appearance factors of youth, beauty, etc., which are based on the perspective of short-term passion periods, that is, equating humans with animals.
So what sustains our long-term relationship after the passion period? In the past, the answer was often morality, family interests, identity, economic status, and so on. But these are relationships, not emotional relationships.
For a long time, women did not have the right to divorce. Men can divorce their wives, but for women, there is no right to vote, no financial rights, not even the right to their own name, let alone the right to divorce. This means that women will lose a lot of external rights, before liberation, even during the Cultural Revolution, women have no real relationship on the emotional level, more mixed with many economic and social factors. What else can we love besides the body? A long-term emotional relationship means that although the passion period has passed, the intimate relationship between the two of us can still be maintained, and we will have a very intimate feeling, not just like a relative. Now many people say that when marriage begins to go through a period of passion, we are no longer lovers, we are relatives, which is the theme of marriage. This is actually looking at marriage in the way of thinking of the ancients, and there is no doubt that this cannot really maintain the marriage of our contemporary people.
The relationship between people and people ultimately falls on the emotional level, and at this level we actually have a lot of parts that can be mined and evolved. We used to either shield the deep relationships of emotions from sight or narrow them down to estrus between animals, which was too biased.
