Fang Ming was a thin man of medium stature who looked very weak. When he sat in front of me, there was no expression on his face. He drank all the water in front of him in one gulp and drank another half a cup. The weather was not hot, and fine beads of sweat oozed from his forehead.
Since they are loving couples, why should they kill their wives?
Lately I've been controlled by a strong and indescribable emotion. Every day I would see my wife drinking milk and looking at her lips. I had an urge to add something to her milk. I wanted to see what the consequences would be.
I thought about the consequences, maybe because she didn't weigh enough, she would have diarrhea, maybe she would go to the hospital because of poisoning, maybe she would die. If she had diarrhea, I would go out and buy her medicine, and if she went to the hospital, I would watch over her day and night.
If she had died, people wouldn't have suspected me at first, because the two of us looked good to outsiders.
I have a stable job. My wife has been at home full-time for the past two years to take care of the children. We often go out to eat and watch movies together, and we often go out on trips with our parents. In everyone's eyes, we are a loving couple.
The day before yesterday, in the yard on the road, I met a familiar neighbor. He said, you are so good now, how happy you are, and your wife... Complimenting her made me very uncomfortable. It evoked deep thoughts in my heart. All night long, I was immersed in that thought, with an inexplicable pleasure.
Anything she treats well to me is a torture for me. She would cook my favorite dish and hand me my favorite coffee. I asked her repeatedly, why are you so good to me? She would smile and stroke my hair.
I was going to have a mental breakdown and I was really afraid that one day I would lose control of myself and I would really put the medicine in her.
Strange dreams would comfort him.
Has anything very special happened between you or recently?
Fang Ming: No, our lives are normal. That's why I feel vicious at my own ideas. But I couldn't restrain myself from thinking about it. Do I have some kind of mental illness? Or am I being too stressed? I went online and did a set of psychological test questions, and there was no big problem.
Are you satisfied with your life now?
Fang Ming: What others say is... I said I wasn't satisfied, and I wasn't satisfied. Moreover, she didn't do anything wrong or anything wrong with me.
Isn't that satisfied?
Fang Ming: (Long silence) Don't talk about this, let's say something else. At night, I have been dreaming about my wife with other men. In the dream, I gritted my teeth in anger and scolded her for hitting her. But when I wake up, I hope that scene is real. Thinking about that scene, I felt very calm in my heart. Especially when you want to drug her milk.
Combine your dreams with some thoughts after waking up, and it's clear that the dreams have fulfilled what you couldn't achieve in life. In your real life, do you already have someone who fascinates your heart?
Fang Ming: Yes, but we can't...
(Fang Ming took another sip of water and was silent for a long time.) Looking at the green leaves outside the window, he finally made up his mind and began to reveal the girl hidden in my heart-)
Knot: It's unrealistic to ask me for a divorce.
I was out on a business trip for a meeting last February, when they were reunited with Xu Ling on the train. Xu Ling was my high school classmate and she went to see her daughter. She was divorced and her daughter followed her husband. Unexpectedly, this reunion turned out to be in such a special place, under special circumstances. Like a confidant, Xu Ling told me about many grievances in her marriage and the many difficulties in a person's life. I don't think it's easy for her. Before parting, the two exchanged contact information.
I didn't think much of it at the time. After returning to Wuhan, I received an active call from Xu Ling, asking me to eat and sit down. Old classmates think, nothing. Originally wanted to call a wife, but I was afraid of stimulating Xu Ling. A man went. Xu Ling is beautifully dressed, well-spoken and well-behaved, and we recall our youth together. Who knows, finally, when I was about to get up to pay the bill, she suddenly said to me: There is one thing, if you don't say it now, you won't have a chance later. You may sound ridiculous, but it's really my heart's word – I had a crush on you when I was in high school.
I really couldn't believe my ears. But looking into her eyes, I believed. Xu Ling's eyes were moist and she was touched by true feelings. When I got home, I was confused by a problem. If I had married Xu Ling, what would have happened now? She would never divorce and wouldn't suffer so much. Most importantly, she wouldn't tell me and my kids like my wife did. Yes, I actually have an opinion about my wife, but I always let her have an opinion. Home and everything was blissful.
Xu Ling's appearance made it impossible for me to calmly face her. But, as she said, she said me, also for my own good, and it wasn't a big mistake.
I couldn't help but not want to see Xu Ling again. We see each other at least once a week. So far, it has been limited to spiritual communication. Now, Xu Ling has mentioned it to me more than once, hoping to live with me fairly. It's not just my confidant. I also told her that divorce was very unrealistic for me. The child is still young, and the relationship with his wife has not been completely broken. However, I also like her very much, very much love her. Because it was fun to be with her.
She started talking about me playing with her feelings. So, under this pressure, I have the illusion that it would be nice if my wife had an affair. However, after observing for a while, she did not feel this way at all. On the contrary, she is actively correcting some of her own deficiencies and deficiencies.
I can't actually take any action. Divorce is unrealistic. Going home completely would hurt Xu Ling again, she said, if I lost her, she would make our business public. It will hurt my wife and children. In this case, I began to daydream, hoping to drug my wife's milk, hoping that she would disappear quietly into my love, and then it would be a hundred.