Dahe News trainee reporter Chen Tiantian (Image courtesy of interviewee)
It is difficult for Qing officials to judge family chores, and recently Taiyuan woman Lan Yexin's "housework" has been on the hot search.
On November 17, she reported in real name that the traffic police husband abandoned the third child again attracted the attention of the media and netizens, and netizens looked closely, which was more than just a "housework".
Lan Yexin said on social media that in June 2019, she gave birth to her third child, because the country had not yet released the three-child policy at that time, and her husband, who was a traffic policeman, was afraid of affecting the work, so he gave the child away. Afterwards, Lan Yexin could not let go of the child and wanted to get the child back, but her husband objected. Since November 2020, Lan Yexin has tried to find her children by making real-name reports to her husband's unit, court prosecutions, online revelations, and even calling the police to say that she "sold her children". However, the child is still missing.
Screenshot of the party Lan Yexin's real-name report on the social platform
How exactly was the child given away? On November 18, the Dahe Newspaper Yu video reporter contacted lan Yexin, the woman concerned, with various questions. The following is the reporter's conversation with Lan Yexin.
Reporter: Why did you send your child away in the first place? Who first proposed to give the child away?
Lan Yexin: My husband proposed, because my husband was a civil servant, and he was taking the selection examination at that time, if he sat on the third child, it would violate the policy, and he would definitely not be able to participate in the selection examination; Secondly, even if he does not participate in the selection, he is still a civil servant.
During my hospital stay, he kept pushing me to choose between my first two and third. He told me that if I gave up my third child, then we could continue to live well, and if we didn't give away my third child, I wouldn't be allowed to see my first two children in the future. Later, under the introduction of an intermediary, the child was given to an English teacher surnamed Zhou.
Reporter: Since you know that having three children will affect your husband's work, why do you have to give birth?
Lan Yexin: In fact, I don't know when I got pregnant, because I was still breastfeeding when I was pregnant with my third child, and at that time, I was relatively fat after giving birth to my second child, and my menstrual leave was not on time, my friend told me that this was a normal reaction of the body after giving birth, until I was about 6 months pregnant, I went to the hospital for examination and did not know that I was pregnant. I didn't know how to tell my husband at the time, and I didn't tell him until I was 7 months pregnant.
Photo of Ms. Lan's third child
When my husband learned that I was pregnant, he took me to check the sex of the child, and he said that if it was a girl, he could consider giving birth, but if it was a boy, he would not. Because we already have two sons, the pressure is too much. Later, it was found that the third was still a boy, and he took me to induce labor, but the child was very old at that time, so no hospital dared to do this operation. The time was often tossed, the child was born a month prematurely, and on June 27, 2019, I gave birth to my third child, a boy.
Reporter: What is your own attitude towards whether or not to have this child?
Lan Yexin: I just think this child is so old, if I beat him up, I can't bear it in my heart.
● False information was used when giving birth to a third child
Reporter: Did your husband accompany you when you gave birth to your third child?
Lan Yexin: There was no paternity, I was a child born at the Zhen'ai Maternity Hospital in Taiyuan City, Shanxi Province, and when he came to the hospital to see me, he was evasive, because he was afraid that others would know that he had three children, and many people in the hospital thought that I had an "illegitimate child". And when I was hospitalized, I used false identity information, only the photo of my ID card was mine, and the other information was fake. Until the time of discharge, the hospital may feel that something is wrong or some other reason, and notify me to change the information to my name.
Ms. Lan's inpatient delivery registration information
● My mother begged my husband not to give away the child
Reporter: Who was present when the children were sent? Do you charge a fee?
Lan Yexin: On July 2, 2019, on the day of discharge, someone came to my ward, and later I learned that that person was Teacher Zhou, and my husband was also present at the time. My mother and my aunt let us go first, and I don't know where the child was finally carried. As for the issue of collecting money, I didn't know at the time that my mother had received 51,000 yuan from others, or Whether I learned from the adopter later, I was very angry, I told my mother that I was not selling children, why should I accept money from others? My mom said it was the nutrition for me to give birth.
A text message sent to Ms. Lan by the adopter
Reporter: Why did your mother and sister-in-law operate this?
Lan Yexin: My in-laws didn't know about my third child, and my husband told me many times that I was not allowed to tell his parents, so my mother and aunt took care of me during childbirth. After giving birth to the child, my mother was ten thousand unwilling to give this child away, my mother told my husband to let this child stay, at that time they were about to kneel down to him and begged him, saying that this child she helped us raise, do not give away, but my husband made up his mind not to want this child.
Later, my aunt found an acquaintance in the hospital, through whom she contacted Teacher Zhou, my mother and aunt communicated with this teacher, after understanding each other's family, reached a consensus, and sent the child to her to raise, this matter is also known to my husband.
My mom gave my husband $31,000 to cover my hospitalization and childbirth, and the remaining $20,000 was with my mom.
The Wanbailin Branch of the Taiyuan Municipal Public Security Bureau issued a verification circular
Reporter: On March 12 this year, the Wanbailin Branch of the Taiyuan Municipal Public Security Bureau issued a circular saying that the two of you discussed giving your child to others for adoption because of financial difficulties, which is inconsistent with your statement.
Lan Yexin: I don't recognize this notice, I can't say that our family conditions are particularly superior, but the family conditions are not bad, I can only say this, our house and car are all bought in full, at the end of 2018, we spent 1.2 million yuan at a time to pay a down payment for a house, so let everyone assess whether we are in financial difficulty, because everyone's evaluation criteria are different.
Ms. Lan complained to the relevant authorities about the problem photo
● The husband suspects that the son is not biological
Reporter: After the child was sent away, did the relationship between husband and wife ease?
Lan Yexin: Still very nervous, because since I was pregnant with my third child, he has always suspected that this child is not his own child, he thinks that I have someone outside, so once he snatched my mobile phone, we had a conflict, he hit me.
I didn't cheat, I've been at home since I gave birth to my second child in December 2017, and when I was pregnant with my third child, my second child was only a few months old and still breastfeeding. And I also told him that you can do a DNA paternity test, and he doesn't do it. I found him chatting with other women on his old phone, who claimed to be single and signed up for an account on a dating site.
Ms. Lan reported a screenshot of her husband's domestic violence on social platforms
Reporter: What about after you start?
Lan Yexin: I reported to the police and publicly reported my husband's domestic violence online, and his parents said that his son was preparing for the civil service selection exam, so I didn't want to affect their son's exam.
In fact, since he beat me up in 2019, plus he forced me to give away my children, I didn't want to live with him. I said to him at the time: You beat me too, or we will divorce me. I said I wanted the baby back, and it didn't take long to give it anyway.
Later, he began to coax me and confess his mistake to me, and the matter was over.
Reporter: Then why do you want to get your child back?
Lan Yexin: The cause of this incident was that after my husband committed domestic violence against me, I once posted a Weibo message on social platforms about him giving up raising children and domestic violence, which alarmed his work unit. On November 23, 2020, my husband and his sister called me in a hurry and panicked, and asked me to go to find the child, because the unit saw my Weibo and wanted to investigate my husband. The two of them asked me to immediately go to the adopter, and after discussing with the adopter, I said that it was foster care, not abandonment, and it was precisely because I went to find the child this time that I learned that my child was not adopted by this teacher surnamed Zhou, but by someone else. I don't know where the child is now or to whom, so I'm going to find my child.
Reporter: Why did your husband not agree with you to find the child again?
Lan Yexin: Because he was lying to me at the beginning, he didn't really want to get the child back at all, he asked me to go to Teacher Zhou to confess in advance that it was "foster care" instead of "abandoned", which was used to deal with the investigation of him by the unit. After the investigation, my husband and his sister's attitude changed, saying to me: The child does not need to be asked back, asked people to say that "foster care" is not illegal, the unit wants to investigate, anyway, it is not illegal, will not be expelled.
Ms. Lan's husband and sister chat history
● In order to find the child, he called the police to "turn himself in" and said that he had sold the child
Reporter: Do you think you are "fostering" or "abandoning", or "selling children"?
Lan Yexin: I initially thought that I was a foster adopter, because I felt that this teacher surnamed Zhou was the main person who raised the child. And I didn't know beforehand about collecting money, or whether the child was sent away and the money was taken back, and I only knew that there was such a thing as receiving money. As for the term "abandonment", in fact, my husband asked me to go to the adopter of the child, and when I discussed with them in advance whether it was "foster care" or "abandonment", I realized that we had abandoned behavior, and my cognition has been changing since then.
On January 30 this year, I couldn't find my child, so I turned myself in and said I had sold my child, admitted that I had bought and sold, and asked the police to file a case to help me find my child. I told the police about the child's delivery and said that I was willing to bear all legal responsibilities, and the police said: What is not charged to you is nutrition. I want to get my children back now, no matter what kind of impact or consequences the future will have on me, I can bear it, this is my attitude.
Reporter: Do you feel like a good and responsible mother?
Lan Yexin: I admit that I am not a responsible mother, and it should be said that I am very irresponsible. In a way, when I gave my child away, my inner hope was to sacrifice my third child in exchange for the health and health of my first two children and a happy family.
But after such a long time, I have been very tormented in my heart, and I have found that I have done something wrong, and I feel that this matter should not be sacrificed for the happiness of others, so I regret it now.
● Separated from her husband and not divorced
Reporter: What is the current situation of you and your husband?
Lan Yexin: I moved back to my mother's house in June 2020, we both took a child with each other, and the contact between us is now limited to picking up the children on weekends, and the contact between the children and the father is normal. My husband sued the court for divorce, but I didn't agree because we were involved in the custody of the third child after marriage, so I didn't agree to the divorce, and the final court judgment did not support the divorce. In June of this year, I kept telling my husband that as long as he cooperated with me to get the child back, we would divorce, but he resolutely did not cooperate and would not let me find the child.
Ms. Lan's husband sued for divorce
Reporter: Why did you choose to solve this matter by reporting online?
Lan Yexin: I have called the police and sued the court many times, asking my husband to cooperate with me to get custody of the child back, but the problem has not been resolved. After there was no way to report, I could only seek help through the online real-name report.
Reporter: After you publicly reported under your real name, did it have any impact on your life?
Lan Yexin: Since I posted the content of the report online, the people in my husband's unit have been contacting me to delete Weibo, but I refused. Later, some people came to my place of work many times to ask me questions, which made the company panic. I told them that if there was any problem, I could go directly to me, there was no need to go to the company, and the reply they gave me was to solve my problem. Later, the company leaders talked to me and dismissed me.
The chat records of the former work unit leader and Ms. Lan
Big River: What is the demand now?
Lan Yexin: The first of my current appeal is to retrieve my child, and second, according to what I know, my child has now been registered, the child's birth certificate has not been issued in the hospital, and we have not signed any agreement with the adopter, including the adoption agreement, under normal circumstances, it is impossible for the child to go to the household registration, and I want to make this matter clear.
On November 19, the reporter contacted Ms. Lan's husband, whose phone has been in the middle of the call and has not been answered for a while. A staff member surnamed Li of the Party Committee of the Traffic Management Bureau of the Shanxi Provincial Public Security Department told reporters that he had been responsible for contacting this matter a long time ago and had done his best to mediate, and as for the outcome of the mediation, "I need to ask Ms. Lan." As for the results of the Public Security Department's handling of Ms. Lan's husband, the staff member did not clearly answer. On the 19th, a staff member of the Wanbailin Branch of the Taiyuan Municipal Public Security Bureau, who had published a "verification notice" on the Internet in March this year, told reporters on the phone that it was not clear about the latest progress of the matter.