In the book "Raising Boys", it is said that every boy has a man in his heart! All you have to do is help him become the man he thinks he is.
In one program, Hu Jun said that he had also made mistakes in his treatment of his son's education: he was gentle and caring for his daughter, but to his son, he was a rough father.
Because he has always shaped his son according to the image of manhood in his mind, he is not allowed to be squeamish, but he later realized that it is very selfish to shape his son according to the manhood in his mind.
There is a boy in the family, and parents want him to have manhood, but parents have many misunderstandings about what manhood is. Some think that a big grin is informal, "manly"; some think that it is "manly" not to do housework.
Manhood does not equal rudeness, real manhood, is responsible, responsible, they have a sunny personality, emotional stability, flexible mind, life is informal, but emotionally extra delicate.
If you want to cultivate a little man, parents must pay attention to these 5 points in education:
Psychologist Mike Minnie's research shows that boys who are exposed to their fathers more each day than boys who are exposed to less than 6 hours a week are more open-minded, more enterprising and adventurous.
Many people say that the current boys are too weak, in fact, a large part of it is because in family education, boys have been in the education of their fathers for a long time, resulting in children being more affected by the female personality of their mothers, showing weakness and squeamishness, lack of confidence, not bravery, love to make small sex play temper, lack of masculinity characteristics.
Psychology believes that the father is the key motivation for the child to break free from the embrace of the mother, and is the bridge to help the child to the outside world.
Fathers can help boys correctly recognize their gender and provide boys with the basic model of men. Therefore, after the boy is 3 years old, the father must become the main nurturer, and the mother must step back.
Boys will learn from their fathers that they are independent, brave, confident, and adventurous; boys who play closely with their fathers will stimulate the growth of neurons in the brain and become smarter during the game.
The room that has just been cleaned up is a mess in the blink of an eye;
There are stools that do not sit, but must lie on the ground;
Clean clothes worn in the morning, dirty into small clay people in less than an hour...
Boys are generally "naughty bags" and "naughty ghosts", which makes parents, especially mothers, miserable, so many mothers ask their children to keep quiet, not to fight, to play outside, not to climb high and low, not to play with mud, and to lie on the ground.
Parents should know that boys are naturally and uncontrollably mischievous, and the work of testosterone in the body causes them to be energetic and have to be released.
If parents blindly block their children from being naughty, it will lead to the child's excess energy not being released, but will form a huge damage: personality reversal, emotional depression, after the child enters puberty, either become gloomy, or will be extremely rebellious, let the family chickens fly dog jump.
Therefore, under the principle of ensuring the safety of children and not disturbing others, children should be allowed to be naughty.
There are too few boys who can suffer now. A very important reason is that the parents' pampering habits want to make the boy hard-working and resistant to setbacks, and it is necessary to let the child sweat more in two aspects.
1. Cultivate children's athletic ability
Many boys can't sit still in class and can't concentrate, in large part because the excess energy is not released in time, resulting in restlessness in class.
Parents must let boys exercise more, release excess energy and physical strength in exercise, and children will be more at ease and focused when learning.
Multiple studies have shown that exercise improves brain ability and academic performance, making children smarter and better at work when they grow up.
Therefore, parents should pay attention to cultivating children's athletic ability, let children run more in the sun, participate in confrontational sports, increase physical fitness, improve team spirit, improve personality, and improve frustration ability.
2. Cultivate boys' housework skills
Chinese traditional belief that women should do housework has led to neglect to cultivate boys' housework skills in many families. Harvard University's Grant research experiments have concluded that children will do more chores from an early age, and children will be more successful in their careers when they grow up!
Boys grow up in the arrangement of their parents, will slowly lose their basic ability to live, become a giant baby waiting to be fed, once out of the comfort zone, they can not take care of themselves, do not know how to get along with others, can not bear a little grievance and hardship, grow up to become an ungrateful "white-eyed wolf", and even difficult to gain a foothold in society.
Doing housework not only cultivates the child's ability to live, but also improves the child's sense of self-identity, improves the quality of life in the future, and the future married life will be happier.
In the documentary "Zero Zero", Xi Kun's mother helps Xi Kun arrange everything in life, solve all problems, and take good care of him.
As a result, Xi Kun is overly dependent on his mother, and when he encounters anything, he will only think that "my mother will help me."
The emergence of "Ma Bao Male" is because of the excessive control and protection of parents, nothing to worry about, and not to give up at any time, the child has a strong dependence, but also gradually gave up on the self, everything let the parents decide.
Psychologist David Wood once said that parents should act as the "scaffolding" of their children, provide a framework for children to solve problems, let children use their own brains, and find ways to solve problems on their own.
Parents closely protect the child, the child can never get the growth, only become the child's ladder, give support, guide the direction, the child can lead the life by themselves, build high-rise buildings.
Raising boys, in life is obedient, and it is taboo to respond to needs. Such a boy is raised, has no enterprising spirit, covets enjoyment, and cannot eat a little bitterness!
In the book "The Power of the Father", it is said that it is important to raise boys with some "stubble", let them climb the ladder, roll in mud, allow them to make mistakes, and let the child maintain a "spiritual hunger and thirst".
Don't pay too much attention to material, especially in dress, don't be too fine, clean and tidy is very good;
It is normal for children to bump a little while playing, don't rub a little skin, just make earth-shattering movements, and the child will only become more and more squeamish;
Things between children and children, let the children handle it themselves, and parents should not intervene at every turn;
Encourage children to learn to be independent and cultivate children's self-care and self-reliance;
In life, it is necessary to cultivate the quality of boys who are generous, not informal, and not covet vanity.
There is a word to describe men called "straight men", which actually means that men are too rough in mind and have low emotional intelligence. In the upbringing of boys, parents often ignore the cultivation of emotional intelligence, thinking that a big grin is a man, and as a result, boys who are raised by emotions will not look at people's eyes when they grow up, speak smelly and direct, have a violent and unstable personality, and often offend people.
A person with high education, low emotional intelligence, and no moral character is a terrible time bomb, and people with delicate emotions and high emotional intelligence have great advantages in work life and life, and parents must pay more attention to the emotional growth of boys and pay attention to the emotional intelligence cultivation of boys.
A little rough in life, a little thinner emotionally.
And if you want to cultivate the manhood of your children, parents must grasp the general direction, not too arrogant and protective, and not too much to let go, but to grasp the principles and scales of parenting, to help boys become a person with morality, courtesy and etiquette, and being liked.