"Kids Aren't Stupid 2" is an educational film with a Douban score of 8.3, which was released in Singapore on January 26, 2006. Although it has been 14 years, looking at it again still makes me laugh with tears in my eyes, and I am deeply thinking in tears. From the family education received by the two brothers in the film, Tom and Jerry, it can be seen that it is improper education that destroys the child.
Tom and Jerry in the film were born in a medium-sized family in Singapore, their parents are busy working to make money, the brothers lack the opportunity to communicate with their parents normally, it is rare to eat together at home, and the brothers are either ignored by their parents or scolded by their parents.
Brother Tom likes to write blogs, and also won the championship of blog competitions, when the award is awarded, the mother sitting below is dismissive, thinking that students can only read well, and other "messy" hobbies are wasted time. Although Tom's grades have always been good, his parents always denied him, and even Tom bought a razor for his father and secretly helped his father fix the computer, which was ruthlessly denied by his father. Tom felt very depressed and miserable due to his long-term living in a denied family environment, and eventually developed to skip school and join the "underworld".
Charlie Corden once said, "Negation is often the destruction of one love by another." Many parents are always denying their children. They think that children are full of bad deeds and have no merit. Therefore, they only criticize the child, not affirm it, thinking that this can make the child a talent. So, what harm will children do to them in this repressive and negative environment for a long time?
1. Cowering is easy to be afraid, pessimistic and inferior
Parents have long denied their children, and most of the situations are not sober criticism. Instead, it grasps the child's weakness, constantly lashing out, and denying the child. Even if it is trivial, the child will be regularly denied, rarely affirmed.
Such an approach will undoubtedly seriously hurt the child's self-esteem. Small things can't be done, big things can't be done, but in the end, nothing can be done, and the child eventually becomes the way the parents deny. In this case, most children develop psychological defects. Inferior to others, self-confidence can not be established, do anything will be careful, afraid of hands and feet, in interpersonal communication, there is a tendency to escape. What's more, there will be a pessimistic and world-weary flow.
2. Cause personality disorders, extreme parent-child relationship tension
Parents are the child's dependence and role model, when the parents continue to deny the child, keep pushing the child outward, just imagine, how will the isolated and helpless child feel? Sooner or later, the abused person will become an abuser, and when the child grows up and becomes the parent of others, will he also copy the original parent's approach to his own children?
Children who are under long-term repression are actually gritting their teeth and enduring. They are like a spring, when the repression accumulates to a critical point, and can no longer bear it, it will erupt, resist, and even fight against the parents, so that it is easy to go to the wrong road.
Younger brother Jerry made a big joke because of the lack of sex education in the family, during the rehearsal of the show, Jerry and a female classmate partner, by the classmate's prank, bumped into the face of the female classmate, accidentally touched the female classmate's mouth. During the recess, the naughty classmates moved them together again, and when the two woke up, they found that there was a person of the opposite sex sleeping next to them, and they immediately bounced up in fright. Classmates also scare Jerry into saying that if you kiss and sleep with girls, girls will have big bellies.
Jerry was puzzled and went home to ask Grandma, how did bb come about? Grandma replied that it was picked up in the trash. He left a message to his parents again, asking me how I got here? Mom replied: When you grow up, you will know. When asked about the teacher who was having a big belly, the teacher also prevaricated. Later, he overheard that pregnant women would fall off after eating pineapples. So I bought a large bag of pineapples for the female classmates to eat, and finally ate until the stomach pain went to the hospital, only to learn that the female classmates did not have a big belly.
Most parents in China are more traditional, rarely carrying out the necessary sex education for their children, and in the case of low sex education penetration, many children run into walls and even make mistakes. In the movie, the consequences of Jerry's lack of sex education are relatively mild and can be recovered; but in reality, the consequences of missing sex education may be very serious, and some are even enough to ruin a person's life.
Lin Yihan, a Taiwanese female writer who wrote "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", was seduced by a teacher as a teenager, and she tried to ask her mother for help, but her mother said: "Sex education is for those who need sex." ”
"Our tutors have everything, just no sex education."
After she failed to ask for help, she wrote her tragic experience into books, suffered and suffered all her life, and finally became overwhelmed, and hanged herself in her bedroom in 2017.
Peng Xiaohui, a professor at Central China Normal University, once said bluntly that at present, 99% of Chinese parents are sexually illiterate and do not have the ability to educate them. The serious lack of sex education in Chinese children has led to some children getting pregnant and having abortions early in curiosity and ignorance, and lacking self-protection awareness; but some couples have no children after marriage, only because they do not understand sexual affairs.
Therefore, sex education needs to start from the doll, only by correctly guiding the child, can the child benefit for a lifetime. For children's sex education, parents may wish to start from the following points:
1. Both parents are required to be involved
Influenced by traditional concepts, many bao dads tacitly accept the idea of "male outside, female inside", so they naturally feel that sex education is a matter within the mother's responsibility, and they can stay out of it. But on the contrary, in the process of sex education, both dad and mom play a vital role. Bao Dad told his son the difference in the physiological structure of men and women, so that they learned to respect the opposite sex, and Bao Mom was responsible for correctly guiding her daughters and teaching them to maintain an appropriate distance from the opposite sex.
2. Let your child understand what sexual assault is
It is said that people's hearts are unpredictable, especially for children with weak judgment, their chances of being violated will also increase greatly. Therefore, parents should tell their children that there is a difference between men and women, and private parts cannot be touched. Let the child know what kind of behavior is "out of bounds", so that the child can judge whether he has been violated, so as to inform the guardian in time.
In fact, giving children universal sex education is not something difficult to say, but an important course that children must take in the process of growing up. Only when parents dare to take the first step in sex education, children can continue to improve their awareness of prevention in the future, so as to avoid harm.
Chen Heqin, a Chinese educator, said: "There are no children who can't teach, only teachers who can't teach." ”
As the first teacher of the child, parents should take on the heavy responsibility of good family education. On the child's growth path, more companionship, more communication, more guidance, not only teach children to distinguish between right and wrong, master life skills and carry out necessary sex education, but also appreciate them more, tolerate them, give them affirmation, and lower their identity to be their friends. It will not be difficult for us to find that children are not so bad and not so stupid. I hope that every child is as happy as an angel and grows up healthy!