【Prose】 Bi Shumin: Shout

One year, I was invited to give a lecture at a middle school. In the countryside of northern China, open-air playgrounds sit around thousands of students, dressed in emerald blue uniforms, and their faces take on a deep purple rose red. Winter, it's cold.

I've never said so much in such a cold place. Although I had been in Tibet before and experienced the cold of minus 40 degrees Celsius, the soldiers rushed like puppets at that time, silent, and the heat around them was lost very quickly. This time, inhaling the cold wind, exhaling the hot air, in the cold of the waxing moon, facing a group of rural teenagers with their eyes talking about life and ideals, I spat out a cloud of white smoke in my mouth, like an old-fashioned steam locomotive.

After the speech, I said, whoever has any problems can write a note. This is the custom of speech, I have something wrong with it, please correct it. The children took out pens and paper, took a breath of hot air into the palms of their hands, and wrote one after another. The teachers walked responsibly around the playground, collecting notes.

I opened a note. It says: I'm angry that the world is unequal. For example, why am I a girl? Why was my dad a farmer? And my dad at the same table is the county commissioner? Why do I have to go so far to school and my table mate sits in a car? Why do I only have one pen and he has such a big pencil case?

I looked at the row of hook-like question marks and thought to myself that this was a girl full of anger, and if she opened her mouth to speak, it must be like rushing out a stream of acetylene, and the air would burst into a blue-and-white flame.

I read out her note aloud. At that moment, the playground was very quiet and quiet, and I could hear a small bird singing loudly in the distant sky. I looked down from the stage, a pair of dark eyes, staring round on the rose-red face, and some people looked east and west. Presumably they were guessing the owner of the note.

It is said that children can feel their mother's feelings in their mother's belly. Many girls feel the inequality of the world from that time, because you are not a boy, you do not meet everyone's expectations.

Is there any way to do this? No. At least at this stage, there is no way to change your gender. You only have to confess your destiny. The "life" I am talking about here is not an illusory fate, but something that you are born with that cannot be changed. Such as your gender, such as your appearance, such as your parents, such as the time and place of your birth... In short, these things that you have before you are born are not within your control. You can only accept it in peace.

Don't believe the words that say to you that the world is equal, at this stage it is just wishful thinking. However, you don't have to be pessimistic, in fact, the world is gradually sailing towards the beacon of equality. For example, 100 years ago, could you go to school? You are likely to wrap your little feet and learn to be a female red in the house with a low brow. The son of the county magistrate, at that time, was going to be called the son of the county master, how could you possibly become a table with him? On the road to equality, we have set off. Remember, no one promises and guarantees that you will be born with sunshine equality. If you look at the animal kingdom, you know how rare equality is. Equality is a product of the wisdom of the people, a strategy for maintaining the peace of the greatest number of people. When you understand this, you will be a lot less angry and a lot more grateful. You have enjoyed the fruits of a lot of people's struggles, and your reward is to keep working hard, not complaining.

As a woman, you don't want to settle for such inequality. You can make a sound. Saying and not saying may be the same in the temporary result, but the long-term feelings and effects are not the same, and the development of your character is not the same. And, as long as you keep talking, things may change. Remember, making sounds is always useful because they can be heard and trigger changes.

Truth be told, it's almost impossible for a neglected girl to cry out about her unfair treatment at a very young age. But I thought twice and decided to keep that expectation. Because today's girls may also become tomorrow's mothers. If they are conformist and still take up the mantle of inequality, if their daughters make a voice, it may touch their inner memories, and things may change. Of course, if girls grow up and go to public, this article should be remembered and implemented at the opportunity.

Remember, shouting is necessary, and even if no one hears it for the rest of your life, the echo will stir for a long time.

Three volumes of Bi Shumin's Self-Selected Works were purchased at ¥108