Author | Meng Chen
Recently, a reality show variety show "Goodbye Lover", as soon as it was broadcast, it was quickly on the hot search. As soon as it was launched, the Douban score was as high as 8.5 points.
Although this variety show does not have the joining of traffic stars, it is so explosive, and the most critical reason is because it is too real.
The three pairs of guests invited by the show include actors, screenwriters, hosts and singers.
Two of them have ended their marriages, and one is on the verge of divorce, but they are on an 18-day caravan trip to Xinjiang.
Netizens are using the mentality of eating melons to look at this embarrassing trip.
However, they see their former selves and memories in the marriage that others have struggled to maintain.
At the same time that this fig leaf of marriage was torn off, many people were silent and in tears...
"He can't get into my world, I don't want to go to his world"
In this show, the most famous should be Guo Keyu.
She starred in "Red Cherry" at the age of 17 and won the Hundred Flowers Award, the Pyongyang International Film Festival and the Shanghai International Film Festival for this film.
In 2008, she and Zhang He, who is also an actor, met because they were filming together, and both sides thought that "the time is right, it is time to get married."
So it was only a month, they flashed marriage, observer Guo Caijie commented to the point:
"She was married."
A marriage that has not experienced the scrutiny of time and has not lit a hot flame is full of hidden dangers.
Not long after marriage, they found that the original two parties in terms of interests, personality, living habits, etc., are completely at the same pace.
Guo Keyu likes to exercise, and gets up at five o'clock every day to start exercising, and Zhang He is still sleeping at this time.
Zhang He likes to sleep late, and when he is partying and chatting with friends, Guo Keyu has already gone to bed.
Slowly, they began to sleep in separate rooms.
Couples during the day and neighbors at night.
They don't want to blend into each other's circles or talk to each other.
According to Guo Keyu:
"He can't get into my world, and I don't want to go to his world."
They do not have a trace of passion for married life, in their respective rooms, in their respective worlds, each "for the sake of government", each alone.
Zhang He said:
This decade has made me feel that there is very little feeling of being in love.
Guo Keyu said: I have no love with him.
He doesn't like me like that.
I don't like him either.
Only these two sentences, their expression means the same.
This marriage with no quarrel, no communication, and no third party finally came to an end after 10 years of trembling and majestic making up.
Looking back on this decade of married life, Zhang He said:
"Would it take ten years to get divorced early?"
Zhang He's words made Guo Keyu and himself fall silent.
A marriage without love, two parallel lines without intersection, but Zhang He, who has a serious fear of heights, plucked up all the courage to climb the cliff and shouted at Guo Keyu in the distance:
Thank you for the previous ten years, the future days must be as you like, and so am I...
Guo Keyu took his sunglasses and looked at Zhang He, and tears unconsciously burst out of his eyes.
At this moment, maybe they all let go.
This ten years of silence, ten years of loneliness, ten years of torture, when Zhang He shouted out that sentence, everything returned to the original point, everything was still in the best state.
One is different, each blessed, each born happy, this is the best farewell to each other, but also the best explanation for this lost marriage.
"Can't we live well without children?"
The only couple on the show who are not yet divorced is the most speechless.
Wei Wei was originally the host of Hunan TV, and for the sake of his wife Tong Chenjie, he chose to go to Shanghai to develop his career.
Along the way, they seemed harmonious, sweet, and occasionally sprinkled dog food, which at one point made people think they were on the wrong set.
However, as the show progressed and deepened, some of the more serious problems in their marriage slowly came to the fore.
They were married for 7 years, and during these 7 years, Tong Chenjie has been carefully maintaining this relationship.
Because in her eyes, Wei Wei was a small child who did not have the ability to take on the heavy responsibilities of the family.
In the work of setting up the tent, the other two pairs are the main force of the man and the auxiliary of the woman.
And in their place, Tong Chenjie was busy, while Wei Wei was carrying a small bench and sitting on the side eating snacks.
As soon as something happened, he shouted, "Wife, come on."
Tong Chenjie also always called him "Wei Wei's little friend".
Whether in life or in this trip, it was almost Tong Chenjie who was coaxing Wei Wei and taking care of Wei Wei.
Once because Tong Chenjie had opened the wrong way, Wei Wei's face changed drastically, and he constantly blamed her.
Tong Chenjie could only coax like a child and say:
"If you say something that makes me happy, I'll go back and make you lamb chops to eat, okay?"
In the discussion of the topic of being taken care of, Wei Wei's bold remarks surprised all the guests:
"On the surface it looks like she's taking care of me, but I'm actually creating opportunities for her to take care of me.
I never cook, if I make the rice, then what does she do?
I want her to feel that I can't live without her in this home. ”
Teacher Ni Ping on the side couldn't help but laugh:
I lived to be 60 years old and heard such a point of view for the first time.
When it comes to children, he is another fallacy:
"I want to have something that belongs to me,
It's stamped,
You are my Wei Wei's son, you are my Wei Wei's daughter..."
He always uses a childish point of view to illustrate that the child is an object, a proof of his existence in this world, a sense of security.
But he never considered the problem from the perspective of his wife, nor did he think about the responsibility of a father from the perspective of a child, and he considered his own sense of existence.
How can a man who runs out to smoke alcohol every day, an adult who can't control his emotions, and a giant baby who doesn't know how to take care of himself and his wife can be a good father.
Tong Chenjie was more rational than anyone else, and she said to her husband to the point:
I don't think you have the ability to be a good father so far.
If we don't have children, can we both live well?
Wei Wei was silent for a moment and said firmly, "No."
They want children but don't want to quit drinking; they want to prove their worth, but they are never willing to change their thoughts and behaviors.
Such a husband really did not grow up.
Marriage is a game of love and reason
The host Li Ai once said a paragraph:
"I think the most important decision for a woman is probably not what job to look for, not where to live, or what kind of man to marry. I think the most important thing is to find a father for your children. ”
Tong Chenjie knew this very well, so she loved and tolerated it while waking up.
When tolerance exceeded the bottom line, when sobriety was greater than everything, Tong Chenjie and Wei Wei's marriage went to the final end.
But for Tong Chenjie, this is not necessarily the worst destination, but a relief.
And the pair of Guo Keyu and Zhang He, because they are too rational, there is no trace of the impulse and passion to change each other, or change for each other, so that the original few loves are snuffed out before they are ignited.
This may be the truth of marriage:
Love is the cornerstone of maintaining marriage, communication and understanding are the best preservatives of marriage, and reason is an indispensable compulsory course in marriage.
Without the blessing of either one, marriage cannot be happy, let alone go to the end.
Marriage is a game of love and reason.
Marriage lacks rationality, like a moth to a fire, and the last thing to destroy must be yourself;
And a marriage without love, in the end there is only a pool of stagnant water, without any desire and expectation to live.
Some people say "Goodbye Lover", the name is just right.
It can be a goodbye to a lover or a reunion with a loved one.
It is like a mirror that reflects the various marital states of others, allows everyone to see their own lives and marriages, and teaches us how to see a relationship and how to get along well with the other half.
Love is beautiful, but marriage is complicated.
As Bi Shumin said:
Marriage is about the same as a voyage through the storm, and when the new ship leaves the harbor, the two sailors must adjust their bodies and minds to the brightest and most exalted state, calmly looking into the distance, and moving forward hand in hand.
So, when you are ready to accept a love or enter a marriage, you must face it in the best state and manage it with your heart.
If you are in a state of confusion at this time, then it is better to go to this realistic "Goodbye Lover", I believe that you can definitely find your own answer in other people's marriages.
Whether it is the guests in the show or you in front of the screen, I hope that everyone can live the life they want.
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Author: Meng Chen, multi-platform contracted author, on the road of life, writing for warmth, cooking words to cure hunger. Some of the pictures are from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.