Ink on paper 30×50| River Fu Works 2021
On November 1, 1919, The New Youth published Lu Xun's article: "How Do We Be Fathers Now?"
At this point in time, the aftermath of the May Fourth Movement like a cultural tsunami has not yet passed, and after round after round of erosion of old ideas, the "saints" gradually stabilized their positions and began to fight back, Lu Xun held a throwing dagger and stabbed at the life gate of the "saints"——
The patriarchy that almost no one dared to question head-on before.
Religiously, patriarchy is the source of divine power; politically, patriarchy is the abuse of monarchy.
For thousands of years, patriarchy, divine power, and monarchy have been integrated, with God called the Heavenly Father, the Emperor the Emperor the Father, and the courtiers and the people creeping below; and the courtiers in front of the people have a title that kneels at the first hearing: parents and officials.
Thus there is the "King for the Subject, the Father for the Son", and the "Husband for wife" derived from the patriarchy.
What does the program mean?
Absolute obedience.
equal? Just lie on the same page.
The so-called fatherly love is like a mountain, and more often it is a fig leaf for patriarchy like a mountain.
Lu Xun couldn't help it, and was the first to jump out to challenge this patriarchy and wrote the article "How Do We Be Fathers Now".
The full text is about 7,000 words, which is not suitable for self-media reading habits, allow me to wash Lu Xun's manuscript and introduce it in summary.
Lu Xun began by writing a clear line, saying that he had written this article to start with "the question of father and son, which has always been considered sacred and inviolable," "to study how to reform the family," and "just to revolutionize Lao Tzu."
As for why such a title is used, Lu Xun said that China's "saints" "think that the Father has absolute power and majesty over the Son; if Lao Tzu speaks, of course, he can do everything, and the Son has something to say, but he is already wrong before he says it." The problem is, "The Son of the present is the Father of the future and the Father of the future." So he did not stand in the son's shoes, but deliberately "put on the dignity of the father and talk about us and our children."
As for the purpose of "being a father", Lu Xun summed it up as: preserving life, prolonging life, and developing life. Because in nature "all living things do this, and so do fathers." All living things, for the two basic goals of preserving life and continuing life, have two instincts: appetite and sexual desire.
From an instinctive standpoint, Lu Xun pointed out to the point:
Appetite is the preservation of oneself, the preservation of present life; sexual desire is the preservation of descendants, the preservation of eternal life. Eating is not sinful, it is not impure; sexual intercourse is not sinful, it is not impure. As a result of eating, nourishing oneself, there is no grace for oneself; the result of sexual intercourse, the birth of children, is of course not a favor for children.
This last sentence is exactly what makes the "saints" jump like thunder. They believe that sexual intercourse is unclean and sinful, but the result of sexual intercourse, the birth of children, is a great thing, so parents are born with kindness to their children. Lu Xun raised an eyebrow coldly, pointing out that sexual intercourse is neither impure nor sinful, and "there is no grace between father and son."
However, this view is not lu xun's invention, he also mentioned later in the article (I have quoted it more than once), during the Eastern Han Dynasty, Kong Rong had already said: "When the father is to the son, what kind of relatives should he have?" In its original meaning, it is actually the ear of lust. The son is to the mother, and it is also reverting, such as in the bottle, and leaving the bottle. ”
If anyone dares to say this today, they will be absolutely killed by the society. But you know who Kong Rong is, the twentieth grandson of Confucius, such as the fake "Holy Cub", who knows how to let Pear that is four years old, is a good example for all Chinese children to learn.
Lu Xun further pointed out that the root of patriarchy is "in the elderly position and self-interested thinking, the idea of rights is very heavy, but the idea of obligation and responsibility is very light." This is inevitably caused by the grace of the city, I gave birth to you, you are all of me, "to blame the recompense, to think that the whole of the young should be the sacrifice of the elderly." So you must be obedient, otherwise it is disobedience.
In pre-modern times, disobedience was a great sin alongside deceit.
So, since the Father and the Son are unkind, doesn't the relationship have to be maintained?
Of course not, opposing man-made grace is more conducive to advocating natural love.
For example, the love of licking calves, which is the natural and common love of all living things, Lu Xun said, "This love that is divorced from the exchange of interests is the rope of human morality, the so-called program."
Emphasis: The difference between grace and love lies in whether there is an "exchange relationship" and a "stake".
Emphasizing grace will lead to the "elderly position"; advocating love will make it possible to achieve the "young person's position". Lu Xun set his sights on the West: "European and American families, mostly based on the young and the weak, are the most suitable methods for this biological truth." Only by standing on the "young-footed" position, after preserving life and continuing life, can the highest goal be achieved: the development of life.
Development means transcendence, so Lu Xun said:
As long as the mind is not blinded, who also likes their children to be stronger, healthier, smarter and nobler than themselves,—— happier; that is, to transcend themselves, to transcend the past. Transcendence must change, so the descendants should change the things of their ancestors.
The most difficult thing is precisely in this word "change", the "saints" take Confucius's "three years without change from the father's way, can be described as filial piety" as the guideline, rejecting all changes. Lu Xun said that this is "the root of the disease of retiring babies."
Therefore, those who have not been poisoned by the sages or who have awakened to parenthood "shall expand and mellow this innate love, and sacrifice themselves to the newcomers with selfless love."
How?
Three steps: understanding, guidance, liberation.
First, "the world of children is very different from that of adults... If you do not understand it first, if you blindly do it recklessly, it will greatly hinder the development of the child."
Guidance, not command, "not only should the young be rebuked for offering themselves, but they must also use all their spirit, exclusively for themselves, to cultivate their physical strength to endure labor, pure and noble morality, and a broad and free spirit that can accommodate new trends."
Liberation, i.e. "the surrender of their ability to stand on their own ... become an independent person". "The liberation of children is a very common thing", but this is also the most difficult, because "the old people in China are too deeply poisoned by the old habits and old ideas to decide that they cannot understand it"; "There is no law, so we can only start from the awakened people first, and each of them liberates their own children."
There may be parents who worry that after the independence of their children, there will be "alienation" with their parents, and when they are parents, their lives will be very boring, and even in this life of loneliness... Lu Xun said that these worries "that is, from the fallacious old ideas", as long as you have the following ability, there is no need to worry - this ability " is that although you have brought the color of the past, you have not lost your independent ability and spirit, have a broad interest, noble entertainment. ”
So, where does "independent skill and spirit, broad fun, noble entertainment" come from?
Of course, it comes from self-change and continuous learning.
When children are liberated, they will naturally exert their natural love, and there will be no tension in the relationship caused by the conflict of ideas to their parents. The connection between family affection born of love is stronger than that of "grace, fame, heaven, earth and righteousness".
That being said, however, the realization of such an ideal relationship is not only possible as an individual father, but also returns to the question: "Therefore, the fundamental method is only to improve society." ”
That's the crux of the matter.
Finally, Lu Xun concluded:
Awakened parents should be completely obligatory, altruistic, sacrificial, and not easy to do; and in China, it is especially difficult to do. Those who have awakened in China, in order to liberate the young with the elders, must ..." Carrying the burden of the attack on their backs, shouldering the floodgates of darkness, and letting them go to a wide and bright place; thereafter they will live happily and behave rationally." ”
He also knew that "this is a very great and important thing, but also a very difficult and difficult thing."
Jin Yu's good words and bitter mouths, but a hundred years have passed, and few Chinese fathers can do such a thing.
But this can not be completely blamed on every Chinese father, because the traditional patriarchy and the monarchy share common prosperity and humiliation, tearing hair and blood, if the patriarchy is dissolved, equality, freedom, mutual love of the new type of father-son relationship can be popularized, the basis of the monarchy's existence will be crumbling.
Why it's hard, it's hard here.
Speaking of this, how did Lu Xun become a father himself?
He didn't really want to be a father.
Lu Xun was 38 years old when he wrote this article, and it was not until ten years later, when Zhou Hainian was born, that Lu Xun, 48, became a father. The birth of Zhou Haiying was completely a "safety accident", both father and son have talked about this in articles and interviews, and there was Zhou Haiying in the contraceptive accident that year.
On April 15, 1931, when his sons were two years old, Lu Xun wrote to Peking University student Li Bingzhong and said: "I originally aimed to worry about the future, but I accidentally lost attention, so I had a baby, thinking about its future, and I was often worried, but this was already the case, and I had no choice." ”
But Lu Xunzhi did not want to be a father, not because he did not dislike his children, nor was he afraid of taking responsibility. In the same letter, he confessed: "In this world, and many children, it is true that it is a tiring thing, but the cost of production, the problem is still light, the big one is in the future education, the country is impermanent, and the individual is even more unprepared." ”
Indeed, according to Lu Xun's income and consumption level at that time, it is no problem to say that it is no problem to have three children, that is, it is no problem to give birth to four, five, six, seven or eight children.
The problematic is "education for the future".
Of course, he is not worried about tuition fees, school district housing or anything, but the country is rotten like this, and his personal future is even more uncertain, do he still want to bring his children to the world to suffer?
The lines of the movie "Tan Si Tong" are fictional, but more than a hundred years ago, there were really many benevolent people who thought so
However, Lu Xun, who became a father, was not punched in the face by his own article ten years ago. From the reminiscences of Xiao Hong and other friends, as well as Zhou Haiying's interviews, it can be seen that Lu Xun can indeed "understand, guide and liberate" his son. The poet Liu Yazi once said heartily: "In modern times, the greatest figure in children's education, I was the first to admire Mr. Lu Xun. ”
Special statement: Lu Xun is talking about the old China under the rule of the Kuomintang in the 1930s. How bad it was at that time, Lu Xun said at the end of the letter: "Hundred things are expensive, the author is either killed or imprisoned, the bookstore is mostly closed, the literary circle is left behind, there are manuscripts and no places for sale, and it will affect the ears in life." ”
Now, cry when you want to, cry for old China.