Zhang Xianliang is a master of love and affection (Part 2)

01

Love that cannot enter marriage is the stimulus and pain of wishful thinking

Zhang Xianliang said: "When I was young, I was a violent girl who regarded determination as a virtue and messed up the relationships of many people, both I loved and loved me. When I think about this, I suddenly feel a jolt and a dull pain in my heart, because this also includes those I do not want to lose. I told myself. In the days to come, there are emotions in my life now, and I can't mess up anymore, not a single one. ”

Love is a wonderful kind of "devil", in study, life or work, the first two people contact, after contact, one person's strengths, like beauty, intelligence, kindness, tenacity, persistence, loyalty, freedom, ability... When the other party is attracted, and then close to each other, a good feeling is generated, and then from the good feeling to the admiration, and then, the better person appears or the more realistic person appears, so that the previous emotion is naturally broken, and after the rupture, it will inevitably cause a great mental blow or inner pain to one or both parties, and finally, the pain will become a bitter memory.

So, the love that cannot go into marriage is first the stimulus of wishful thinking, because it is self-inflicted, no one is forcing you to love another person, and people can get stimulation in love at that time; then there is pain, because you are separated, you cannot be together, so you must be miserable.

According to Zhang Xianliang's famous saying, we can divide the love that cannot enter marriage into the following situations:

1 The one who loves me, I don't love. The essence of it is that he is too poor to be worthy of me, not to meet some of my conditions, which include looks, character and talent. The result of this is that I don't care, but after the other person loves me and gets nothing, he will be miserable and sad.

2 The people I love, people don't love me. The essence of it is that I am not strong enough, not enough ability, can not meet the needs of the other party, including appearance, character, talent, ability or financial strength, etc., the result is that the person I love has no feelings, and I feel very painful and sad, and the essence of this pain and sadness is anger at my own incompetence!

Zhang Xianliang said: "The love that is too easy to get is mostly not noble. This is what I said, the more good it is to a person, the less it is cherished, and this is what I said. Now these words are all confirmed in me. ”

3 People who love each other cannot walk together. The essence is that reality does not allow or the world does not allow two people to be together. The result: both people are in great pain...

Zhang Xianliang said: "I love you, this does not mean that I want to be with you. When I say I love you, I promise not to hurt you. ”

4 People who love each other finally walk together and enter the temple of marriage. But the triviality of real life has made both people in their original form exposed, the shortcomings of both sides have been unabashedly exposed, both have taken off their masks, torn off the fig leaf, life has become a chicken feather, each other is very regretful, and then run-in, after the run-in is to tolerate each other, each other adapts to each other, the days begin to continue in blandness and boredom ...

Such love first experiences vigorous love, then loss and pain, then blandness and boredom, and finally no one can do without anyone, support each other, spend old age together... Such love is sweet, bitter, and very complete, because after all, the people who love each other will eventually become dependents... Such people are lucky, but people who have actually experienced this kind of love and marriage do not feel happy, and that is because they do not have a deep, comprehensive, detailed understanding of love and marriage...

Zhang Xianliang said: "It will be a long time before he understands that love can burn or be eternal, but the two cannot coexist." ”

The fourth kind of marriage is to "burn" first, after the enthusiasm is burned, it is restored to bland and boring, which is the eternity of love, "the burning of love" is very short in the long river of life, and the "plain eternity" is lasting.

In short, no matter what kind of love in the world, there is pain, that is to say, love is both beautiful and painful. Beauty is caused by people's longing for love, Zhang Xianliang said: "Life is located in the looking up, love is an earthly fantasy." "And the pain is caused by not being strong enough."

Therefore, in order to make love sweet forever, this requires people to constantly make themselves perfect and strong, if they are getting weaker, weaker, weaker and incompetent, even the bland love can not be saved, your love is likely to sneak away from you, your other half is likely to become someone else's pillow person...

02

When people who love each other are separated, they find that love, life, sexual encounters and years are irrelevant to each other

Zhang Xianliang said: "When I left him, I understood that love is one thing, life is one thing, sexual encounters are one thing, and years are another thing. ”

Even if two people love each other, reality does not allow them to live together, and after separation, they return to their own homes, and they can no longer contact each other. Because unrealistic love and life are separated and cannot be mixed together, your life cannot tolerate such love, and in the same way, such love is doomed not to mix your life.

Sexual encounters are just an episode of life, like a fragment of life, once it has passed, don't go to nostalgia...

Years are realistic and cruel, and you need to take them seriously...

Zhang Xianliang said: "All youth will pass away, but not all loss will be compensated. ”

Emotionally, sometimes, your efforts are rewarded, but some of them are not reciprocated, because all of this is voluntary!

Zhang Xianliang said: "A person's experience is all written in the eyes, my eyes from clear to cloudy, what I experience is only one injury after another and a parting time and again." ”

This sentence tells people that love is a high consumer product and luxury, they are not strong enough, it is best not to touch the idea of love, it will hurt. Instead of wasting your precious time and youth on unrealistic emotions, you should spend this time and energy on improving your own business quality.

Zhang Xianliang said: "As I get older, there are fewer and fewer opportunities to make new close friends, so I cherish the friendships that have lasted from the past to the present. Whenever I get together with these old friends from the past, the depression and anxiety are always alleviated. Their existence makes me feel that there are always these clean feelings in this world that are reserved for me, so as long as these people are there, the world that belongs to me will not collapse and will not change. ”

After people enter old age, they dare not touch the "hot potato" of feelings, once glued, it will be more troublesome, or old friends are the most reliable!

Zhang Xianliang said: "I often tell myself that if I can not move the heart, try not to move, if you really move the heart, at least do not move, so that at least can not hurt self-esteem, however, at that moment, I unexpectedly smashed the tears, turned around and fled, did not dare to look at it again." ”

Zhang Xianliang told us that moving the heart will hurt self-esteem, rather than not hurting the self-esteem, let yourself live a little more dashing, it is best to move the heart quietly, and learn to give up emotionally.

Tumbler Friday, July 16, 2021