Text | anna
It's easy to get along with! The mango variety show "Goodbye Lover" reunites three couples who are planning to divorce or have divorced to travel.
I thought that this was another boring melon variety show on Mango Station, but along the way, I was deeply attracted by the three couples in the show, their relationship is so real and heartfelt, and the mode of getting along is thought-provoking.
During the eighteen-day trip, three songs can be used to describe the state of these three couples:
Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong expressed the meaning of the song "The Most Familiar Stranger" very well - so the dream woke up, stranded, silent, waved, but could not return to God.
Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie, the song "Start to Understand" seems to interpret them both - with a sour smile to forgive, but also overturned. I began to understand that happiness is the choice.
Zhang He and Guo Keyu, using the song "More and More Do Not Understand" to describe them very appropriately - I thought that I would understand when I met them, but each time it only left a glimpse of the feeling, and I did not understand more and more.
Intimacy is mutual tolerance, not mutual blame
In "Goodbye Lover", Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong are a pair that has been controversial since the launch of the show, and the two of them do have many points that people want to complain about. Let's first take a look at a scene that happened on the show:
Wang Qiuyu drove Zhu Yaqiong alone to the location arranged by the program group, and when the car passed the checkpoint, he wanted to listen carefully to the regulations playing in the horn of the checkpoint, but at this time, Zhu Yaqiong kept asking Wang Qiuyu this and that, and also asked him to roll down all the windows of the car immediately.
Wang Qiuyu was completely angry because Zhu Yaqiong's interjection behavior caused him to not hear the rules and regulations of the checkpoint, and he was completely angry and ordered Zhu Yaqiong to shut up! Finally, a sentence in English popped up: "Shut up!" ”
This is the real scene of Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong's outing in "Goodbye Lover". Originally, it was very rare for the husband and wife to be able to spend a day alone, but across the screen, the audience could feel the tension and depression of the atmosphere of the scene.
After that, Wang Qiuyu kept accusing Zhu Yaqiong on the road, saying that she was very arbitrary and would do whatever she wanted! He also angrily rebuked Zhu Yaqiong for having a problem!
A series of ugly words rushed towards Zhu Yaqiong, like the thorn of a cactus, and she sat in the back row looking silently and desperately out of the car window.
Wang Qiuyu's original intention to participate in this show was to save the marriage, but as long as there was a conflict with Zhu Yaqiong, he uncontrollably chose to quarrel and accuse, pushing Zhu Yaqiong farther and farther away.
In fact, the husband and wife only know how to blame each other, which is a major killer in the intimate relationship, and the long-term accumulation is likely to lead to divorce.
We know that there is no need for tit-for-tat confrontation between husband and wife, and there is no need to fight for a win or loss, because home is originally a place of love, not a place of reason.
There will be quarrels and contradictions between husband and wife, and couples who can tolerate each other when encountering things are far wiser and happier than couples who blame each other.
If we want to live happily with our partner, don't say accusatory words easily.
Intimacy is when one heart is constantly moving closer to another
The couple of Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie is also very representative.
In early 2000, Tong Chenjie began her career as a professional model, and after winning numerous awards in the industry, she became one of the first top models in China to appear on the Victoria's Secret stage.
Soon, the famous Tong Chenjie married football star Xie Hui, and at that time, the wedding of the two caused a sensation throughout Shanghai. However, due to various reasons, in 2011, Tong Chenjie ended her first marriage, and after the divorce, she began to enter the hosting industry and the performing arts industry, and participated in many TV series.
The 40-year-old Tong Chenjie's aura inside and outside the drama is very strong, showing her independent and confident temperament between her hands and feet.
Wei Wei, who is a bit stagnant in his acting career, is often irritable and irritable in the show, unable to control his emotions, and exposes his bad temper to the audience nakedly.
One time, just because Tong Chenjie pointed out Wei Wei's ugly state after drinking in front of everyone, Wei left the table in anger; on another occasion, when Wei's reason for not cooking was not understood by everyone, he actually yelled at Tong, so that Tong would never cook for him again!
Along the way, as long as the two quarrel, Wei Wei never takes the initiative to solve the problem, always gets angry or vents his emotions immediately, and regardless of right or wrong, Tong Chenjie will always take the initiative to apologize and reconcile.
Many people do not understand why Tong Chenjie chose Wei Wei as her second husband. Tong Chenjie commented on Wei Wei this way: "In fact, he is much better than my ex-husband Xie Hui, my ex-husband is a person with a particularly strong formalism, and he is not that kind of person, he will pay attention to details, sometimes it will be very warm." ”
Therefore, Wei Wei should still have many advantages that we have not seen, true and dare to love and dare to hate, frank and enthusiastic like fire, perhaps only Tong Chenjie understands him.
In the last episode, when Wei Wei chased After Tong Chenjie's motorhome and held the other's hand again, he shouted happily: "I chased Tong Chenjie!" It can be seen from this that Wei Wei is trying to get close to the mature and excellent Tong Chenjie, and he is slowly growing.
Therefore, a happy marriage is one heart constantly approaching another, without the need for formalistic matching.
Intimacy is the juggling of each other between oneself and one's lover
Here, I have to mention the wonderful moment of the last episode, the program team stipulates that in the hourglass time of 5 minutes, the three pairs of guests must make a choice, or get off the car to continue walking, or do not get off the car to run things.
In the male guest car, when the hourglass had just begun, Zhang He couldn't wait to rush out of the car, showing his firm determination to reunite.
In the female guest car, Guo Keyu did not get off the car for a long time, the time passed minute by minute, seeing the car drive away, Guo Keyu was in tears, she finally stopped the car and rushed down.
At that moment, I burst into tears, and the guests in the observation room were in tears.
The two men ran toward each other and hugged each other tightly. Guo Keyu, who had always remained calm, repeatedly chanted at this moment: "I don't know what to say." And Zhang He, who always did not understand people, also hugged her tightly at this moment: "You don't have to say, I understand." ”
From the beginning of the two people's mutual hatred in the show, Guo said that her world Zhang He could not enter and did not understand, and Zhang immediately replied that he did not want to understand Guo Keyu's world;
In the middle of the mutual complaint, Zhang bluntly felt that the two had lived a very absurd life in the past 10 years, while Guo felt that there was no love between the two;
Then to the later mutual Q&A, such as Guo Qingzhang, did he ever think about remarrying after the divorce? Zhang blurted out that there was no! This ring after ring, but at the end of the end, the two people finally hugged together.
The feelings of this pair of guests from the beginning to the end of the play, suddenly cold and hot, let us see the clouds, but in fact, it also brought us a lot of thinking.
Guo Keyu became famous as a teenager, starring in the movie "Red Cherry" at the age of 17, which was released in Chinese mainland, and won a number of domestic and foreign actress awards with the role of "Chu Chu", but her childhood was not happy.
Her father was extremely accomplished in painting and craftsmanship, but he used a lock to isolate himself from his family, and treated his daughter very coldly, perhaps even aggressively because of emotional instability, making the young Guo Keyu often afraid of being beaten by his father.
However, after Guo Keyu grew up, the influence of her original family made her a person like her father, with delicate emotions and love of art, and added a lock to her heart. So, what kind of partner does such a Guo Keyu need?
What she should be looking for is a partner whose reality and soul can merge into one. By chance, she met the real and touchable Zhang He, she needed Zhang He's pyrotechnics and sense of reality, and most importantly, this man also longed for emotion.
In the show, Zhang He first mentioned his original family, he grew up with his grandmother, and later returned to his parents, he is strange to his parents, in addition to strangeness, he also has to face his father's harsh rebuke, and even his father's slap.
Zhang He, who lacked emotional care from childhood, grew up to become a straight man of steel, and he was attracted by the gentle atmosphere that permeated Guo Keyu's body because of the drama.
They were supposed to be a pair of partners who could warm each other and work together for a lifetime, but unfortunately, they were both too egotistical and wanted each other to give themselves, but they couldn't take care of each other's feelings and needs.
This state of life in which you only see yourself in real life and ignore others is ultimately impossible for two individuals to become a whole in marriage.
If both people can let go of themselves and try to accept parts that are different from themselves, this marriage can go on happily.
After all, there is no right or wrong between reason and emotion in marriage, and a good marriage is when two people seek balance in emotional fluctuations, taking care of each other between themselves and others.
Write at the end:
Balzac said: "Husband and wife know each other by knowing each other, and by tolerating and loving each other, so that a happy marriage can be maintained." ”
In married life, the two partners will inevitably have contradictions and disputes, but the attitude of the two people to face things together determines the temperature of the family, right?
Back to the show, in fact, each of us has stumbled and groped for experiences in our own marriages.
If the "acute child" meets the "slow swallow", perhaps we will now understand that the "acute child" can learn not to miss the beauty in a hurry; if the "little trumpet" meets the "stuffy gourd", perhaps we can understand now that the "small trumpet" has the power to be stable.
Marriage is a journey of two tracks, and how to accompany each other is an eternal topic. How should we love? How to love yourself and love each other? Perhaps, this is the theme that the show "Goodbye Lover" wants the audience to think about and discuss together!
In the future, I sincerely hope that Zhu Yaqiong is still innocent and free, Wang Qiuyu continues to live seriously, Tong Chenjie has always been loved, Wei Wei can harvest growth, Guo Keyu can find happy and free love, and Zhang He can live relaxedly and freely...
In life, we and the other half may be similar to the three pairs of guests, may we all be reconciled with the past, with the people around us, and more with ourselves.
end
Draft: Glen Dust
Reviewer: Yo-Yo / Life Travels
Illustration: Lin Nuan
Proofreader: Lin Nuan
Typography: Han Xu