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Recently, I received a lot of private messages from my mother, saying that the child was "playing crazy" outside, and that letting the child go home every day was like a fight, especially when playing happily, how to say it did not listen, and I was eager to beat the child directly on the street. In fact, this kind of child is not an isolated case, there are eight out of ten.
I really took the kids to the playground and played all afternoon. In the evening, the mother should go back to cooking, and Zhenzhen also felt that the child's play time was not short, so she told the child that it was time to go home, but the child said to the mother: "Mom, I don't want to go home." The mother said directly to the child, "No, you have to go home." The child still said stubbornly, not to go back.
Really angry, yelling at the child, "You want to play here, you play here alone, I'm gone." At this time, seeing the back of the mother leaving, the child cried wow, there was no way, only to follow the mother back home.
There are also children in the playground who are reluctant to go home, but the mother's reaction is different. A mother told her child it was time to go home, and the child said she didn't want to go home now. So the mother made an agreement with the child: "Play for five minutes, and after five minutes you must go home with your mother?" The child agreed, but after five minutes, the child began to play rogue, saying that he still wanted to play. At this time, the mother said to the child in a serious tone: "Did we make an agreement before, my mother promised you five minutes, and my mother did it, but my mother also hopes that you can abide by the agreement, can you?" At this time, although the child was very aggrieved, he finally agreed to his mother and went home with his mother.
In the process of growing up, children will always encounter problems of one kind or another. And the various practices of parents to their children will have a certain impact on their children, and some are even lifelong.
1, go first, let the child be afraid
Many parents are asking their children to go with themselves, but the children are still nostalgic, and when they don't want to go, parents don't want to talk to their children more, they want to tell their children through practical actions, and want to make their children afraid, so they must listen to their parents' words and avoid some unnecessary wars. However, this practice of parents will make children feel insecure, feel that they are children that their parents can discard at any time, and are often afraid of their parents abandoning themselves. As an adult, this insecurity can even accompany marriage, life, and so on.
2. Violently take away or beat up
There are also some parents who face their children's arrogance, unreasonableness, and anger to directly do it. This kind of behavior will cause a certain reverse psychology to the child, the more the parents do not agree, the more they have to do it, and the parent-child relationship will become worse and worse. Even after growing up, children will continue to use this set of parents' practices, and have a certain violent tendency, which is related to the long-term personality of the individual. This method is actually very undesirable in the process of educating children.
3. Be reasonable and make an agreement
On the issue of children's education, it is generally recommended to convince people with reason, to teach children what is right and what is wrong, rather than through violent demands or even persecution by words and deeds. And the child is in the stage of physical and mental development is more active, there is not too much concept of right and wrong, there is no moderation, this is where parents need to be constrained, and the way of restraint is also very important. By reasoning with the child and making an agreement, the child understands that the parents love the child, but many objective factors lead to having to go home. When the child is still unwilling to go home after playing, the child must understand that the agreed things must be obeyed, just like the mother and you agreed. Under this kind of education, children will become stable and down-to-earth step by step in the process of growing up.
Children need their parents as a guide to point the way on the road to growth. This requires parents to maintain reason in educating their children, give their children a good example, and be a role model for their children.
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