"Long Time No See"

Today is Tuesday, January 18, 2022, and it is 2:02 PM. Suddenly, this inspiration that had not been seen for a long time. However, why did you choose this title as the mood of the day? Because unconsciously, I thought of Eason Chan's ten years. There will be decades in life, and there will be decades to stumble, to miss, to regret, to be missed.

Life won't have so many decades. 10 to 20 years old, still in the age of youth and ignorance, there is no clear concept and cognition of love or life, it can be said that it is almost completely in the mud and clouds of growth.

And 20 to 30 years old, it is true that there are some initial ideas about life, love, marriage, and career, or almost in many hurried days and nights. But in the past ten years, it seems that I have never experienced a relationship painfully, nor have I completely liked or admired a person, of course, there are many changes in my career, but this is not the most important theme in my life, although making money is the goal of life, but I always think that in addition to making money, there are some other meanings of life.

And when I am not in a hurry to cope with work and complicated human feelings, I am often used to going to many, unfamiliar places with light clothing. Then when you get there, you will be like going to a destination many times, just quietly walking a lot, seeing a lot of unfamiliar scenery, and then not talking too much with any strange people. It seems, always in a small world, just talking to yourself.

Of course, there are also many nights, and I am also counting my own decades, why I have spent them this way. I also have friends who advise me that I should not completely let go of the past, let go of some people and things in the past. But what kind of unforgettable people and things have you experienced in the past?

But there is nothing unforgettable, excessive pain and heart-wrenching. I'm just in a lot of ordinary days, and I've been completely numb. And don't feel too many fiery emotions with enough mixed feelings. Just like that. And now, I have completely let go of the people and things I used to do, although almost all of them are in my life, like a cameo, and it seems to be passing by, I have been obsessed with some dispensable illusions for ten years.

I never completely opened my heart to anyone, nor did I think I would completely accept anyone, and I would allow this person to intersect with my heart. Of course, on a very ordinary day in the previous years, and on a normal night, I suddenly learned an unexpected news, a former friend, told me that someone was married, and by the way, forwarded his marriage information to me.

I looked at the man who hadn't been in touch or met for years, or was the young and naïve boy I knew in school? It seems to be completely different. He became like a middle-aged uncle, and also had a clear and recognizable meaning of baldness, of course, the most obvious is a very prominent beer belly, the face is whiter than before, but the weight is really like several times higher than before.

I probably never imagined that the thin boy who was once in front of me, who was always smiling, would become what he is now. However, it seems that some people have mentioned to me that if two people are together and they are fattening each other, it means that such a couple is just happy. Oh, I still laugh and don't say anything, maybe.

But how did I choose to spend that day? I knew so well that even though no one knew what kind of news I had received that day, I knew exactly what kind of fluctuations I had in my heart. That day, I went to an annual meeting with two colleagues. There was also a lottery at the annual meeting, and there was a lot of money to be done, and I was always idle, holding cups with a lot of people, talking, and then pretending that nothing had happened.

During the period, there was also a beautiful woman, and I began to chat, talking about her study abroad career in London, talking about the current standards and requirements for blind dates and finding boyfriends, I looked at such an excellent girl, outstanding appearance, tall figure, and a good family background, there are also glowing academic qualifications, how can you still worry about not finding a partner.

I was very confused at the time, whether it would be too demanding. Then this girl, but did not say anything, because of the work reasons, we added WeChat, and said, in the future, you can often contact, more communication, see if there are any opportunities for cooperation. And this girl is an assistant to the general manager, which belongs to the administrative work. A dinner, an exchange, but feel that many of the concepts of the two people are very similar. However, later, I also contacted several times, but it was because of work.

I never talked openly. And I did know that there was a boy who liked me. It's just that I really don't like him, I don't like to be scheming, I don't like rhetoric, and I don't like men with psychological defects. Such a man is 100% excluded from my world and choices.

However, that day still passed in a long time with a lot of heart. I also drank a lot of red wine, glass after glass, and then didn't eat much. So the last drink was a bit dizzy. If not a colleague sent me back to the neighborhood, maybe another man with bad intentions wanted to send me back. Oh, probably only I don't know, what is the mentality of that strange man, the first time we meet, I have to send a strange girl home, but also ask for WeChat and mobile phone numbers and the like. Of course, this was told to me by my colleagues after I woke up drunk the next day, and I have no memory of what happened after I got drunk that night.

When I got home that night, I just felt very sad. In the years when we had never met or contacted each other, I always felt that one day in the future, we might meet by chance, maybe the storyline would return to the time when we used to be on campus. There was still a righteous person who bravely rushed to my side and told me, "I haven't seen you for a long time, are you okay?"

However, such a wait is always silent. And before I decided to do this, when we were separated for the last time, the boy still said to me with a smile, I will go to you later, two years later. But two years later, it was the news of your marriage. hehe.

However, I just accepted this result, but I did not contact anyone or anything that had happened. Just silently thinking on that sleepless night, the person I liked, he was married, or married to a strange girl. I looked at their wedding photos, but the tears were falling one after another, irrepressibly flowing down again.

But there was no feeling of pain or heartache, and it was probably time that had really given itself the antidote. That sadness only lasted one night. The next day, I started to tidy up again and go to work happily. It was as if nothing had happened. Of course, in the next few days, there were also a few girlfriends who talked about this matter, and I was a girlfriend who witnessed the whole process of my first love from the appearance.

But if I want to win anyone's sympathy because of this, it will not be at all. In this encounter, I have always been like an outsider, and I always feel that all my feelings have little to do with myself. When in love, I don't want to get married. When you lose, you don't feel sorry. When you have it, you don't feel precious. I only feel that my ideal is the biggest, my future is the most important, and my joys and sorrows are the first.

Therefore, in this world, there will be a lot of not cherishing and missing, and there will be many people who have saved enough disappointment and left. And anyone who has experienced this may never look back, let alone say that there is any chance of life to start again. I still remember that once, my first love said to myself more than once, what you can lose may never belong to you. He said, it wasn't until I separated from you that my words became looking for words. It is also said that there are a hundred flowers in spring, autumn and moon, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. Finally, my wish is very simple, that is, to go sightseeing with you in the future.

I am still like many times of hindsight, without any interest in any truth of life, let alone the desire to understand. Feel these things that have nothing to do with you, and then still do your usual work as usual. But is this really the truth? I have always rejected long-distance love, and even disliked long-distance love, and I can't accept long-distance love, if only by saying some comforting words, you can make each other realize that there are still feelings, again and again, year after year, isn't that very ridiculous and unreasonable.

Perhaps it is precisely for this reason that I hate all long-distance couples. If it is not in a city, if there is no common intersection of life, it is better not to know, it is best to completely pass by.

Of course, it was now past 30 years old, and the night of my 30th birthday, based on a sense of ceremony, I boiled myself a bowl of egg noodles and put some slices of ham. I also watched 29 to 30 years old, as described in a movie plot, and counted the last minutes and seconds, to see if anything would change.

In fact, this is just self-deception, and naturally there is no change. Even if there is, it is a change of mentality. I feel that I should be more mature and rational, and I should abandon some fantasies to live. Also let yourself be more aware of reality, recognize reality, enough to recognize reality.

On that warm night, I also quietly said a lot to my 30-40 year old self. Also sent a circle of friends. Promise yourself to be a girl who has zero past, open heart, smile as ever, gentle and firm, and independent. Of course, I did the same. And now I am indeed 31 years old, and for more than a year, I have returned to Zhengzhou from Shanghai and started my new life from Zhengzhou.

But I also met someone I liked, but this time, it was still the same passing and irreparable misses, as well as doubtful regrets. And the year has passed so quietly, but I am about to enter the ranks of 32 years old. Is this decade going to pass for 2 years? For the remaining eight years, will I, like the previous ten years, often miss everything I experienced today, unknown, unknown?

Or a year later, or two years later, the person I once liked, once again and with other strange girls, into the marriage hall, I will still be the same as before, and then drunk myself, and then unconscious, and then quietly say to myself, the person I like, he is married, I feel very sad. However, that kind of sadness will still last only one night.

Then the next day, the sun will still rise as usual, and I will still go to work as usual. It was as if nothing had happened. And such a human tragedy, there is even a possibility of being staged again, huh. Many people are not separated because they don't like it, nor are they separated because they don't love it, but because they end up in nothingness, they are separated. There are no words of farewell, no words of indebtedness, no words of guilt, just a wave of the sleeve, and then as if only passing by each other's side once, it is so necessary to choose to disappear into each other's world mercilessly.

No one will say sorry, no one will say that they will start again, and no one will say that they will see each other again. Old and dead do not interact with each other, and blocking all contact information is the final ending.

However, even if you still can't get married and have children like many normal girls, there is no expectation of love, and there is no fantasy about marriage. For the next ten years, I will no longer be like 20-30 years old, only busy work and travel north and south. I will choose to slow down, in addition to slowing down to eat three meals a day, but also slow down to spend each festival, slow down and get along with family and friends more and talk.

Naturally, I will slow down and savor every book I like, or I will read many chapters that I have read many times, and I will read them many times again. Then I have some spare time, some flowers and grass, and most importantly, I have recently always longed to have a cat, hoping that this wish can be realized sooner after the epidemic is over. And when I was 40 years old, looking back at this decade,

I hope that more is to enrich my heart, and to gain more peace and happiness, not because I missed someone, or a relationship, and therefore I will be sad for this decade. And there are so many single sisters around to accompany themselves, there is nothing to be alone.

Every sister who has not yet entered the ranks of marriage is basically independent of thought, economic independence, personality independence, no one is born low, no one should be born to depend on whom, friendship, marriage, the most important thing is not to respect each other and get along equally.

If such a simple wish cannot be fulfilled, then what is too much happiness to speak of. The sisters also met, if one day, we are not married, then work until the age of retirement, and then choose a feng shui treasure land surrounded by mountains and rivers, and then open a homestay, or do some other investment business, take care of each other, appreciate each other, ridicule each other, and spend the old age.

In life, there are always many ways to live, so why stick to one of them. If you can't make yourself feel happy and happy, it is better to give up and stay away as soon as possible. Adult cultivation, timely stop loss, is probably the most important one.

Today, in addition to studying the fragments of the Himalayan audio recitation, I revisited the movie Journey to the West. At least 20 minutes of the opening clip, I still seem to have seen it in a hilarious laugh, and I wonder how this clip is still so funny. If the Buddha's wick is lost, where to buy it. What about the Erlang God's wheezing dog. What else to do to the bazaar for a walk. Of course, and, I'm going to look into your heart. Although my appearance is very ugly, I am very gentle.

Probably somewhere do you suddenly feel like you don't want to laugh? To the Pansi Cave Supreme Treasure shouted Zixia's name 754 times, and then shouted 755 times, and then the robber friend asked the Supreme Treasure, this Zixia Fairy must owe you a lot of money. In your mind, is she an exclamation point, a period, or a question mark. Supreme Treasure looked at this friend in disbelief, how could I possibly like someone so nasty, I hated that she was too late, how could I possibly like her, it was impossible.

Later, in order to get the Moonlight Treasure Box, in order to retrieve the white crystal of five hundred years ago. He deceived Zixia once again, but Zixia was still righteous, even if he sacrificed himself to marry the Bull Demon King, he also had to help his beloved to regain the Moonlight Treasure Box. However, she guessed the beginning, not the ending. When the Moonlight Treasure Box returned to the Supreme Treasure's hand. He has become Monkey King. But whenever there is still a love affair with the world, there is a trace of nostalgia or heart, and the tight curse will immediately make him miserable.

So in order to complete their mission, but also to find out why there are so many love and hate in the world, why hate a person for so long, love a person will be so painful. He let go of the past. However, on the way to learn the scriptures, next to a city tower, I saw the girl who had missed it again. At this time, at another time, things have already changed. The former lover has become another person's belonging. However, he still used his own spells to make the former girl happy, so that the girl finally got her wish, and the stubborn sunset samurai had a happy ending.

However, only the moment he turned around. The girl saw it, and thought, what a strange man it was. Different perspectives, looking at the same thing, will also have different thoughts. When I change my perspective and examine it again, the beginningless and endless thing I have passed away, and it seems that fate is destined, this past. It seems that it is not so sad anymore.