Author: Insight Li Siyuan
Life is the norm.
There is a song in "Dream of the Red Chamber" "Hate Impermanence": "Joy and glory are just right, hate impermanence has arrived." ”
In this life, people are always in constant change.
Today's limelight is booming, tomorrow may fall to the bottom;
Today's clouds are bleak, tomorrow may be dark and bright.
As Mr. Yang Dai once said:
"There will be no simple happiness in the world, happiness is always mixed with troubles and sorrows, and there is no eternity in the world."
Sometimes the scenery is proud, the ups and downs are life, when you see the impermanence, you will find that everything is just ordinary.
01
Life is impermanent, accept it calmly.
In the recent program "Thirteen Invitations", Xu Zhiyuan interviewed Mr. Qian Liqun, a professor at Peking University.
The two talked about life and death.
Unexpectedly, Mr. Qian said very calmly:
"I did the math, I probably have five years left. I'm now like racing time with life, doing what I want to do, and when I'm done, it doesn't matter. ”
Stetson said, "Death is a holiday that is bound to come. ”
No matter how scared you are, no matter how scared you are, you can't change the fact that "people will eventually die."
Instead of avoiding talking about it, let nature take its course.
In "The Two of Us", Yang Dai recalled and wrote down two experiences of the death of relatives.
In March 1997, Yang Dai's beloved daughter Qian Yuan was admitted to the hospital due to illness.
The day before her daughter's death, Yang Dai seemed to have telepathy and had foreknowledge in advance.
At that time, she was walking on the road and whispered a word: "Yuanyuan, Ah Yuan, you go well, go back with the blessings of your parents and mother." ”
In December 1998, Qian Zhongshu was also hospitalized due to illness.
Before his death, Yang Dai, who was deeply hurt by the loss of his relatives, endured the grief in his heart, calmly attached himself to Mr. Qian Zhongshu's ear, and said a word to him: "You are tired, close your eyes, go to sleep." ”
Later, Mr. Qian Zhonglu went to visit Yang Chen.
Mr. Qian Zhonglu said that our two families had been moving around frequently and knew the immense pain. Originally, we wanted to comfort our sister-in-law Yang Chen, but we didn't expect that when we met, she didn't have any tears, but comforted us not to worry about her.
After that, Yang Dai plunged into the pile of books, worked tirelessly every day, and spent 13 years sorting out all the academic manuscripts of Qian Zhongshu.
In a busy and fulfilling life, she gradually soothed her inner grief and died peacefully at the age of 105.
There is a poem that reads: "Grass and wood are unintentional, and prosperity and withering are sometimes." ”
What should come will always come, and those who should go will also go.
No matter how much you are unwilling and sad, facing and accepting death is a compulsory course in life.
When you truly understand the impermanence of life, you can cherish and treat every everyday life.
02
Circumstances are uncertain, be optimistic to face.
There is a saying: "A person's life is like a parabola." ”
There are times of triumph and there are times of frustration.
No one can go on smoothly in a lifetime.
No matter what the situation, learn to face it optimistically.
Yang Dai wrote about his own experience in "Sinking a Well".
At that time, she was sent to work in the vegetable garden.
Seeing that the people were struggling to dig the well, they also took off their shoes and socks, trying to help do some work and shovel the mud that was flowing around into one place.
She sighed: Usually I always feel that the sludge is very dirty, phlegm and, and there is everything; but when I step on the sludge and get close to it, I only feel slippery and not dirty.
It is like a loved one who has an infectious disease, and even the infectious disease is no longer disgusted, and it is all amiable. I secretly teased myself: this is a change of position or foothold! ”
On the day when the well was well laid, Yang Dai also specially called a bottle of shochu, bought a pound of mud-like fruit candy, and everyone sat together and held a lively "celebration banquet".
As a bridesmaid, no matter in the face of the embarrassment of washing the toilet, or the hard work of doing rough work, she has always maintained a humble attitude and calmly carried it down.
There is a saying in the "Cai Gen Tan": "If the fan is happy, it becomes a bitter sea, like water condensed into ice; if it is enlightened, the bitter sea is a happy state, and the ice is like water." ”
Sometimes it is not the straw on a person's body that crushes a person, but the wasteland in his heart.
In the "Notes of the Old School", an interesting thing is recorded.
After nearly a decade of derogatory career, the poet Huang Tingjian was once again demoted to Yizhou in his later years, living on a dilapidated castle tower.
One day, it suddenly started to rain lightly.
In the midst of the wind and rain, he did not have any sense of frustration and loss, but instead drank wine, sat on the bed, stretched his legs out of the eaves to soak in the rain, and wrote to his friends, "I have never had such a fast life." ”
There is a saying in "Seeing": "A strong man cannot conquer anything, but what he can bear." ”
Life has many wrong paths, only to look away.
The worse the situation, the more you have to learn to maintain a good attitude.
Obsessed with misfortune and pain, the days will only pass more and more bitter.
Learn to laugh at external adversity in order to get out of your inner predicament.
03
Human feelings are impermanent and treated with a normal heart.
Bai Juyi once wrote in "Taihang Road": "It is difficult to walk, not in the water, not in the mountains, only in the repetition of human feelings." ”
When a person is in a high position, it is difficult to see the human heart and human nature.
Only in the ups and downs of fate can we truly understand the warmth and coldness of human feelings.
During the reign of Emperor Wen of Han, there was a minister, Zhai Gong, who, when he was a high-ranking official, was full of cars and horses every day in his home, and the guests were like clouds, and there was an endless stream.
When he lost his official hat and caused trouble, the guests disappeared, and the contrast was so strong that he was very resentful.
So he wrote a line in large letters at his doorstep:
"One death and one life is to know friendship, one poor and one rich, but to know friendship; one noble and one lowly, friendship is present."
In fact, it is human nature to seek advantage and avoid harm.
Only by facing it with a normal heart, not being insulted, and leaving no intentions, can we let go of our calmness.
During the special period, Yang Dai taught at Tsinghua University.
Once, students held a meeting in the Auditorium.
A girl, on stage, complained that Mr. Yang Dai took classes to talk about love.
At that time, one of Yang Dai's relatives was also present, but when the girl finished complaining, the crowd slowly dispersed, and Yang Dai stood up helplessly and found that her relatives had long disappeared.
Later, she saw an old friend in front of the great hall.
Originally, she still wanted to say hello, but she didn't expect that after her old friend saw her, she actually avoided her from afar.
As Mr. Yang Dai once said: "Only in a humble place can we have the most chance to see the truth of the world's human condition." ”
Many times, we overestimate our relationships with others.
But when you're in trouble:
Even people who are connected by blood have times when they are cold to you.
Even if you are intimate and intimate, you have the heart to abandon you.
Even friends who are brothers and sisters have the intention of being far away from you.
One day you will understand:
In this world, there is no eternal relationship, and there is no unbreakable friendship.
When you look down on the repetition of human feelings and look down on the heat and cold of the world, you can also face the closeness or alienation of others peacefully.
04
Mr. Yang Dai once wrote a sentence in his twilight years: "The most beautiful scenery of life is the calm and calm in the heart." ”
Throughout her life, she has experienced countless hardships and hardships.
But no matter in the face of wind and rain, or falling to the bottom, she has always maintained a firm and indifferent heart.
There is a saying: "Impermanence is the normal state of life." ”
Whether it's good or bad, just try your best to take care of it.
When you calm down, adjust the state.
There are no more mountains that cannot be climbed, and there are no obstacles that cannot be crossed.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.