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For normal people, there is such a mentality: "You are good to me, I am also good to you; you are not good to me, why should I be good to you!" ”
The "complaint with virtue" in many people does not apply to everyone, and few people can repay complaints with virtue.
Before there was an article mentioning the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law in the text was bullied by the mother-in-law, saying that she did not give the mother-in-law a pension, and someone in the comment quoted the legal provisions, saying that the "pension" this kind of thing can not be the daughter-in-law to make her own claims, since there is a law to follow, whether the mother-in-law is good or bad, you have to give her a pension.
The words can be said from this point of view, but the truth is not necessarily such a direction. A daughter-in-law who has been bullied by her mother-in-law, she just does not give her mother-in-law a pension, no one can take her what to do, forcing a big divorce, this is the reality.
Although the "pension" thing involves obligations from a legal and moral point of view, it is a requirement for the younger generation, but this kind of thing is not one-way, it cannot just be on the line, but also pay attention to human feelings. A daughter-in-law is adhering to the principle of "if you are not good to me, I will not be good to you", even if she is forced to give her mother-in-law a pension, that form of pension is not a pension.
Some daughters-in-law just don't want to be kidnapped by this kind of dogma, and don't want to passively give the mother-in-law who bullies themselves, so they will choose divorce, and after divorce, they have no relationship with their mother-in-law, and naturally they will not involve the problem of old-age care.
The reasons for the divorce of the daughter-in-law and her ex-husband below are also related to the problems mentioned above, and not only the above problems, let's take a look at it together.
<h1>Teacher Donglin:</h1>
I just saw you talk about the case of a good mother-in-law, and I want to say that I am not so lucky, I am a bad mother-in-law on my stall. I am the person who was not careful in choosing marriage as you said at the end of your article, and got married without thinking too much, and as a result, various problems arose after marriage.
Let's talk about my ex-husband! He is a man, and it is okay to say that he is honest, and it is not too much to say that he is a waste. I met him on a blind date, saw his honest side, didn't think about anything else, and felt that such a man would not mess around after marriage, so I felt that it was not bad.
The marriage was generally smooth, and after getting married, we both lived together and got by. However, since the father-in-law was sick in bed, all problems gradually appeared.
Because we live relatively close to his parents, our father-in-law is sick and we cannot turn a blind eye. As a daughter-in-law, I felt that my father-in-law was sick and my mother-in-law was too hard alone, so I always went to help. However, my mother-in-law's requirements for me were not limited to help, she actually asked me to resign to serve my father-in-law, and she did nothing herself.
It was something I couldn't stand and touched my bottom line. Originally, I was relatively unfamiliar with my in-laws, and it didn't matter if I fulfilled my duty to take care of them, but I couldn't accept that I was going to serve my father-in-law, not only was there a difference between men and women, but it was also an unspeakable resistance.
What's more, the mother-in-law herself is idle, she also has a daughter, and it is not my turn to serve my father-in-law.
As a result, I did not accept the mother-in-law's request, and the mother-in-law turned her face, "Daughter-in-law, you must resign to serve your father-in-law, otherwise you will get out of our house!" ”
Her words have made me unbearable, coupled with the sister-in-law next to stir up trouble, plus my ex-husband continues to do "shrinking head turtle", I can't stand it anymore, and tell her, "Roll and roll!" ”
From beginning to end, my ex-husband did not say anything, allowing my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to bully me. I decided to divorce him, but I will not wronged myself, this is what they forced me to divorce, not my own divorce, so I can roll, but I will never be able to get out of the house.
I filed for divorce from my ex-husband, and he was still invisible. It felt like he was such a pathetic person, like a soulless man. I also didn't want to take advantage of him, and after dividing up the property with him equally, I divorced.
Because the divorce was done privately by the two of us, my mother-in-law knew about it and inevitably came to me to settle the account and let me return the divorced property. I didn't leave her, and I didn't owe her anything. We can obviously get along harmoniously, she has to be a demon, she has to be a strong person, such a mother-in-law I do not need to stay in it.
I have no plans to remarry for the time being, and the feelings left by the previous marriage are something I need to take the time to digest well.
<h1>Many men's marriages are ruined by the mother-in-law's self-made cleverness! </h1>
In reality, there are not a few couples who divorce because of the problems in the above cases. The nature of the problem is the same, it is all because the mother-in-law relies on the old and sells the old, and the marriage tragedy caused by her own cleverness.
Like the mother-in-law in the case, how do you let your daughter-in-law treat her kindly? Take the conventional "pension" set of rhetoric to require that she must obey her mother-in-law? Do you think it's feasible? In this case, no matter how many legal provisions you cite, it is useless, as long as she divorces, she will no longer be bound.
We began by saying that the "pension" thing is not one-way, it refers to this kind of problem. Just standing on the moral high ground to ask the daughter-in-law how to do it, but not how the mother-in-law treats the daughter-in-law, is an ignorant way of thinking.
The daughter-in-law treats her parents with a blood relationship that is always separated, and it is reasonable to ask her to take the relevant provisions. But for the mother-in-law, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not related by blood, this relationship must be maintained with "mutual respect" and "mutual kindness", the mother-in-law has always been not kind to the daughter-in-law, and even tortured the daughter-in-law, and then moral kidnapping makes the daughter-in-law must "repay the complaint with virtue", so to speak, but she will not do it.
When we talk about this kind of problem, we are not aiming at anyone, nor are we going to confront the provisions of the law, but rather: any interpersonal relationship, even between parents and children, even between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, should be two-way, not one-way. Only with two-way "mutual respect" and "mutual kindness", each other can willingly "exchange courtesy", whether it is a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, should first manage themselves and then ask each other, people who can't manage themselves are not qualified to ask each other. (Text/Donglin Xiting, if you have a story, come to me)