Some time ago, when I read the book "Poor Dad Rich Dad", there was such a sentence in it, which made me feel very deeply.
The so-called success is actually to have time to accompany the child.
It is true that everyone's definition of success is very different, and for most men, they always want to have their own company, have great power in business, and be able to provide better living conditions for their wives and children.
So most men now generally work outside the home to earn more money to pay for their children and wives' living expenses at home. In their minds, thinking that they can meet the needs of their children and wives is success, but is this really the case?
In recent years, the term "widowed parenting" is believed to be heard by everyone, and it shows the imbalance in the distribution ratio of parents in the process of educating their children.
Because most fathers choose to work outside the home, they spend less and less time with their children. In the process, Bao Mom had to resign to stay at home full-time with the baby. For a long time, a gap has arisen between children and their parents.
He has a good relationship with his mother, but he ignores his father. Is such a situation really the success that the father had in mind?
The so-called "why sweep the world without sweeping a house"?
If we can't even get the children in the family to be close to him, how can we talk about our success in business? "Widowed parenting" proposes that many fathers never take it seriously and always find reasons for themselves.
"I have so many things in a day, if I think about how to accompany my son and wife every day, who will pay the rent, mortgage, and car loan in the family when the time comes?" To put it mildly, where is there so much time to spend with children? ”
"I want to accompany my children, but time does not allow, life does not allow." If I had the choice, I would also like to lie at home every day and play with my child, watch the cartoons he wants to watch, and learn about his academic performance. But what if you do that and the family lacks living expenses? ”
When it comes to spending time with their children, most fathers will say that I really don't have time.
But there is no time, is it really a reason?
Remember there was an ad: What can you do in three minutes? Some people say eat an apple. It is true that this is also the case, but in my mind, three minutes to call the child, will definitely make the child more and more happy, the relationship between father and son, father and daughter is more harmonious, family life is happier, but not everyone can stick to it.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="18" > every excellent child is not born out of nowhere, but the father is carefully "accompanied" out</h1>
Parents work outside the home, that is, in order to let the children have a good learning environment, learning resources, learning conditions, all for the good of the children. But in fact, everyone lacks thinking and ignores the most critical step in the growth of children, that is, the company of the father.
I remember chatting with my husband a few years ago and saying that the children of relatives were obvious. "Every exam is the first, usually when talking to him is not shy, it looks particularly generous, compared with our children is really too big."
At that time, I originally thought that it was the reason for the child's personality itself, but later I learned that it was Mingming's parents who had been with him.
And my child is a boy, so he is more worried about his future life difficulties, so he wants to go out and work harder for him when he is young.
Basically, we can only meet once in the New Year, and it is only a few days in a hurry. Every year when I go back, the child has grown several centimeters, and it looks extremely strange. Later, there is still no way to improve the strange relationship with the child.
What parents lose when they work is not only the concern for their children, but also the witness of their children's growth.
For those fathers who often live around their children, they can observe the characteristics of their children, be able to fully understand the children, and at the same time have an impact on the children according to some of their own behaviors.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="61" > Harvard study: Children who are raised by their fathers can become very good</h1>
The Harvard Research Institute once conducted a survey in which researchers approached multiple children and asked them about their current grades and their growth status at infancy. Later, I learned that most of the children who were extremely intelligent were brought up by their fathers.
That is to say, children raised by men, the state they show, compared to the mother's children will be better, and the probability of success of children will become greater and greater later.
What is the reason for this? In fact, in the process of the father accompanying the child, it is not only the companionship that is brought to the child, after all, some of the characteristics shown by the father will directly affect the child's behavior.
✔ Fathers make their children feel safe
When it comes to security, I believe that most people will think about their innermost state, and for those children who have been with their mothers for a long time, because the weakness of their mothers themselves is not enough to protect them, they are actually insecure.
But the father is the pillar of a family, the child has any problems, as long as the father appears may be solved, which is some of the characteristics brought by the father himself.
Therefore, in the process of getting along with the father continuously, the child will become more and more confident, generous, and have a sense of security, which is extremely important for the child's life.
✔ Children dare to explore
Now most children actually receive a standardized education, and after they grow up slowly, they even move towards a more standardized prospect. This does not help the child's growth at all, or even makes them tend to be unified. And those children who have irreplaceability, they will have some characteristics in them.
Dare to explore and show bravery. There is a father behind them, so they are not afraid of possible dangers, and naturally there will be unexpected gains that will prompt them to succeed.
✔ Children dare to take responsibility
A person's desire to succeed is not just the existence of his own ability. Some of the personality charms that exist in them also enable them to gain the support of more people.
For those children who often come into contact with their fathers, he cannot ignore the sense of responsibility shown by a man, and the children will naturally imitate learning, which will prompt them to go to the road to success.
It's just that for the mother, she may prefer to worry about some trivial things, making the child's pattern smaller, and such a person will inevitably miss the opportunity and lose success when calculating gains and losses.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="63" > father has a vital influence on a child's life, and a father who knows how to accompany him is a good father</h1>
There are indeed various problems in the growth of children themselves, but the presence of fathers will inevitably enable them to move towards a better path of development.
Of course, here we are not saying that the existence of mothers is useless, but that there are obvious differences between the influence of mothers on children and fathers. For most children, the company of the father may be able to make their achievements more obvious, these few things, the father is best to accompany the child to do, the mother to stand aside.
1) Travel with children
"The world is so big, take the children to see it.". We should be clear about the importance of traveling, looking at the scenery of the outside world and the cultural landscape, for the child's vision to broaden. Now many parents are particularly concerned about whether their children have seen the world? Is the conversation and demeanor elegant?
Of course, that being said, many people travel with their children and basically just take pictures. In particular, mothers like to punch their children's attractions, but do not know how to explain certain knowledge, so what do children really learn? But the father is different, they will give the children more knowledge in the process of travel, so that their horizons are broader.
2) Exercise with your child
Are we in a sub-healthy state? I believe that many people will answer this question, yes! Indeed, more and more people, because of bad living habits, have a more obvious sub-health state, and even the situation of all-day malaise will affect our health.
Many mothers feel very tired because of the trivial things in life, and they do not want to go out every day, and always stay at home. If the child and the mother stay together for a long time, they will naturally develop the habit of staying at home, but what if there is a father's company? Dad can exercise with his kids.
Whether it is climbing or walking, it has a certain effect on the health of children, and at the same time, it can also make them feel comfortable. There are not many such idle time, and children will cherish it very much and let them grow up happily.
3) Adventure with kids
In general, when it comes to risking, most of the mothers will show extreme nervousness, fear, and uneasiness. It is believed that if children take risks at will, they will put their lives at risk, and even stifle their desire to explore. In fact, children's lack of desire to explore has an extremely obvious impact on their growth.
So dads should consider taking risks with their children and make them aware of the novel situations that will occur in the process of adventure.
Coupled with the father's own physical fitness, it will also make the child feel more secure. After slowly growing up, this impulse, exploration, and desire to think in their hearts has not stopped, and it can naturally prompt them to grow.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="62" > conclusion</h1>
Father's love is like a mountain, and this is what we all know. As strong as a mountain, as thick as a mountain, as broad as a mountain. Whether it is a mother or a father, there is a clear difference between the state they show and the state of their child's company.
Therefore, as fathers, we must understand our influence on the child itself, avoid widowed parenting, and avoid the child's long-term contact with the mother to become weaker, irritable, and inferior.
Whether it is a simple conversation or sports travel with children, I believe that children can show a different state.
(The pictures in this article are from the Internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete)