Title/ The old woman's son did not cry after death, pointing at the corpse and scolding, Confucius also praised its virtuousness
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Lu Guo's father- Wen Bo died.
Of course, according to the Book of Rites, the so-called "death of the Son of Heaven is known as 'collapse', the death of the princes is known as '薨', and the death of the doctor is called '卒'".
Father-in-law Wen Bo was a doctor, so the news of his death could not be called "death", but "pawn".
But no matter what, this important figure in the Lu Dynasty finally completed the rest of his life and quietly scattered his hands.
Father-in-law Wen Bo was the cousin of Ji Kangzi, the prince of lu, who was known for his prestige in the DPRK and had a wide range of friends. Therefore, at the beginning of the funeral, the father-in-law's family hung up the door.
However, the hangers found a strange situation, that is, the old lady of Jingjiang, who was sitting in front of her father-in-law Wen Boling, did not cry.
Not only that, she also pointed angrily at the corpse of her father-in-law Wen Bo and counted them down.
Jing Jiang said, "You unformed boy, initially I asked you to follow Kong Qiu." Who knows that when Kong Qiu left the country of Lu, you were afraid of suffering and refused to follow him on a study tour. ”
"The gifts given to him are not the most precious things in the family."
"When you are sick, you do not see virtuous soldiers coming to ask questions. When you die, you will not see any virtuous person shed tears for you. ”
"Your boy is still lustful for women, and your little wife is more than a dozen when she marries...!"
At this point, the female relatives kneeling in front of the spirit could not help but start sobbing, and they cried out in a loud voice.
Jing Jiang's face changed and he shouted, "Don't cry!" ”
Frightened the female relatives suddenly silenced...!
Jing Jiang was still not finished, and continued: "You boy, you are not respectful enough to the virtuous people, and you have put your mind on these little wives!" You're so out of shape...! ”
Jing Jiang is the mother of his father-in-law, Uncle Wen, who is highly respected and the most knowledgeable person. What made her so unwelcome to her son?
With this question in mind, zilu attended the funeral and went directly to see his teacher Confucius.
After hearing Zilu's words, Confucius sighed and said, "This old woman is really a virtuous person!" ”
Zi Lu said, "Teacher, do you also like to listen to the praise of others?" When the old lady praises you, you turn a blind eye to her shortcomings. Jing Jiang's old lady's son died and did not cry, obviously it was not loving! Where is there any virtuous place! ”
Confucius was used to being hit by the top of the quilt road, and he was not angry, but slowly explained: "The old lady is angry that her son cannot be a virtuous person, this is a virtuous person!" I just praised her character, and it had nothing to do with whether she praised me or not! ”
In fact, Confucius only said part of it, and there was another part that he did not say. In Confucius's view, the reason why Jing Jiang is a virtuous person is reflected in three aspects:
First, Jing Jiang grasped his son's education very tightly and was also very effective, and Confucius praised Jing Jiang's educational method.
When his father-in-law, Wen Bo, was very young, he saw him standing tall in front of his peers and criticized him fiercely. Thereafter, the companions sent to him were older and virtuous, and he remained respectful at all times.
Father-in-law Wen Bo was later able to become a master, thanks to Jing Jiang's strict teachings at that time. Confucius came from an educational background and praised The method of education of Jing Jiang.
Second, he used a bad attitude to show his disapproval of the concubine's martyrdom, and Confucius saw clearly the hidden benevolence under the bad attitude of respecting Jiang.
In fact, the bad attitude of the old lady of Jingjiang to her sons and concubines is also difficult to say.
You know, this father-in-law Wen Bo is a love species. He is like Jin Yong's Duan Zhengchun, who loves a beautiful woman by seeing one. But every time he loved someone, he was dead set on being kind to her, and his affection was very deep.
The concubines were grateful for his kindness, and after his death they mourned so much that two women committed suicide for him. The old lady looked in her eyes and hurt in her heart.
He deliberately used a bad attitude to show that he deeply resented the act of martyrdom for the private love of his children, so as to prevent anyone from committing suicide for this reason.
In Confucius's view, of course, this is also a kind of benevolent heart. As long as there is such a benevolent heart, of course, it is also a virtuous person.
Third, by standardizing the behavior of concubines to restore the reputation of his father-in-law Wen Bo, Confucius praised this wise behavior of respecting Jiang.
According to the Chinese, Jingjiang once privately warned his father-in-law Wen Bo's concubine, saying, "I heard that if the noble master honors the magi, the magi will sacrifice for him." If you spoil your own concubine, the concubine will be martyred for him! ”
"Now that my son has died at a young age, if you go to martyrdom for him, or if you mourn excessively, you will bring him a reputation for lust."
"If you really love my son, do as I say.
"Be full of spirits, don't shed tears, don't beat your chest, don't have a sad expression, and go beyond etiquette in wearing filial piety, to improve the specifications of wearing filial piety."
"Only in this way can I usher in a good reputation for my son!"
In Confucius's eyes, this practice is truly good for the dead and a wise act. Confucius praised this wise act of respecting ginger, calling him a true wise man.
It is precisely because Confucius figured it out and saw through these things that he greatly praised the old lady of Jingjiang. As for Zilu, he has always been a rectum, and it is reasonable to not understand the complex connotations in it!
References: Li Ji Tan Bow, Chinese Lu Language, Biography of The Daughters of Lie, Kong Congzi, etc