Read Carnegie – Overcome Your Bad Temper

Overcome your bad temper

Carnegie believed that anger was one of the primitive reactionary qualities of human beings. To be successful, you must learn to dispel anger and overcome your bad temper.

A baby, when hungry and unable to get a bottle, screams, shakes his little hands, kicks his little feet, and shows irritability and unhappiness. If, after a tantrum, he gets the bottle and is satisfied, he has experience and knows that the expression of anger will have a beneficial effect. A few months later, when it's time to toddler, he may scream again for a toy, and his parents will help him solve the problem again. Thus, his original character was strengthened step by step.

Carnegie said that almost all adults with bad tempers, both men and women, are brought from childhood. With a bad temper, there will first be adverse effects on his or her physique, which will destroy digestion, increase non-essential blood pressure, burn the sugar in the bones and bones, and cause excretion to stop. Even if sometimes having a tantrum can lift some obstacles in life, the cost is too great.

Many people are ashamed of their tantrums and often suppress their anger. Carnegie said that this kind of repression, if it is a method, will have a worse effect than anger outward. Suppressing the feelings of anger outward manifestations, you just increase that bad effect developing inside. Some people suppress their anger all their lives to show the nobility of their personality, and they do not know that the most harmful thing to harm their personality is more than this. For one day, a terrible spiritual outburst will come. This is like adding fire under a boiler where all the valves are closed, and the result is bound to burst the boiler, or at least cause great internal damage.

Normal people, sometimes for the sake of mental health, also need to "deflate". For example, to vent the sullen or idle mood of a day's work, they cheer in the middle of a football game or boxing field, or scream in a movie theater. This is the proper way out to vent your sullen or idle breath. Naturally, the best way out is to "laugh heartily.".

There are two different reasons for people's tantrums: one is to lose their temper in order to satisfy personal desires; the other is caused by small difficulties and obstacles in daily life. The method of overcoming these two tempers is also different.

The character of the first kind of person has simply deteriorated, and he still thinks that like when he was a child, as long as he shouts and loses his temper, he can get what he wants in his heart. He did not know that in adult circles, this principle could no longer be followed. Healing such a person's temper is no longer the usual suppression that can be effective, and the fundamental treatment is only psychological tranquility.

As for the second kind of person, as long as he understands that if he often loses his temper only for some small difficulties and obstacles in life, his wife and children will certainly be afraid of him, but colleagues and friends who are equal to him will stay away from him and let him lose his temper alone. No one wants to be close to him anymore, no one to work with him, no one to do business with him anymore. Therefore, he should understand that he is not "solipsistic", he must use the energy used in anger to do the work of helping to avoid difficulties and obstacles in life, which is the normal way. Throwing a tantrum in vain will bankrupt one's own spirit and personality.

Here's a specific way carnegie taught you to overcome bad temper, which is very good, you can try it.

When you're going to lose your temper, you make a fine yourself and send it to a group of worthy charitable causes. If you think there's going to be a total outburst, you hurry up and run to the room, lock yourself in it, tear a newspaper, tear it into crumbs, or break a cheap cup—preferably on your own head—or scold yourself as loudly as you can. However, the most important thing is not to let anyone see it!