I often hear some parents complain that their children are too selfish, can't understand their parents' hard work, and don't know how to be grateful! Parents think they can give everything for their children, but children seem to take it for granted, and if their needs are not met, they will turn against each other and resent. Parents can't figure it out: why do they work so hard to raise a "white-eyed wolf"?
So, under what circumstances does a person develop gratitude?
Wang Xiaoting, a national second-level psychological counselor, said that "gratitude" is a kind of cognition, an emotion that a person recognizes the dedication and care from others or the environment, and wants to reciprocate from the heart. When a person feels that they are being treated with sincerity, that they are genuinely thinking about themselves, or that they have received trust, support and help from others when they are in a difficult situation and cannot do anything about it, this feeling will be remembered and a heartfelt sense of gratitude will arise.
Highlight the point
Gratitude is the fruit of kindness that is nourished by love, slowly takes root, and finally bears fruit. "Gratitude" cannot be demanded, and once parents ask their children to be "grateful", parents become "creditors".
Most parents regard nurturing and satisfying their children's desires as "giving", and misinterpret asking for "returns" as "gratitude". If parents are always emphasizing what they have done for their children, children will feel pressure and burden, and when they feel that this heavy "love" cannot be repaid, they will instinctively avoid and deny it.
In fact, raising and caring for children is a parent's responsibility and obligation, which does not need to be reciprocated. Parents should respect their children's hobbies, aspirations, and privacy, understand the mistakes they make because they are immature, accept their child's sense of powerlessness that they can't do a lot of things, and love their child unconditionally – not because of good grades or the ability to surpass others, etc., just because he is your child.
"If you want to cultivate a child who knows how to be grateful, you might as well become a child's 'ally' first, fully trust him, support him, and be willing to be by the child's side no matter what difficulties he encounters, rather than denying him, belittling him, or even insulting his personality." Wang Xiaoting suggested that parents should grow up with their children, a person who is rich in heart and has love in his heart, he will feel that life is beautiful and his heart is happy, they are more likely to experience the love and dedication of those around them, and they will naturally give birth to gratitude.
Reporter / Zhang Wenjing
Editor / Fan Lujia
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