Many young couples are struggling, whether to have a second child?
My colleague Xiao Li's daughter is in kindergarten, and her mother-in-law has been urging her to give birth, the reason is: one child is too lonely, and having two children has a companion.
Xiao Li and his family have been very hesitant to have a second child, probably because the decision to have a second child has caused too much impact, and whether to have a child or not is related to the life of the child and the whole family in the next few decades.
"It's too lonely to have one child, and having two children has a companion for each other" is the reason why many people have a second child. Wenwen's father thinks that this reason is very valid, and the social environment that our children face when they grow up is mostly a society with a low marriage rate and low fertility rate, and there may be a large number of people who are unmarried and infertile.
In the process, a small number of people may encounter major life setbacks or even fail to die well. If there is a sibling at this time, who can accompany her through almost her entire life, the possibility of tragedy will be much less.
In addition, the reasons for having a second child are "I hope to have more children and more blessings, children and grandchildren are full, and the pressure of children's pension is small", "I just like children, and children can bring people happiness that cannot be measured by money"......
Seeing these reasons for having a second child, Wenwen's father couldn't help but laugh, these concepts are often only thought of by women. Men don't see things that way at all, because a family's income depends mainly on men. Children can indeed bring a lot of happiness to the family, but the cost behind it is indeed heavy.
Therefore, parents should pay attention, this second child really can't be born blindly, if your family is one of the following two families, it is recommended not to give birth, come over to tell the truth.
01. Families with no one to help with children
During the previous holiday, I took my children to the playground to play, and met a mother with her 5-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter. The 5-year-old son is naughty and active, and the daughter who is less than 1 year old is still unstable and needs to be held or supported by her mother all the time.
In the playground, the son jumped up and down, and the mother bent over to support her daughter, while staring up at her son and looking around. Suddenly, I heard her shouting "Don't move, come down", and I followed the sound to see that her son had climbed on top of the fence of the ocean ball pool and was about to jump down.
She quickly put her daughter on the ground and ran over to grab her son, who was two or three meters away from me, next to the sand playing area. I saw her daughter quickly grab a handful of sand and put it in her mouth. The child's mother also saw it, hugged her son, ran over and grabbed her daughter, and began to dig out the sand from her mouth, and both children were so frightened by their mother that they cried.
After pulling the sand out of her daughter's mouth, she was already tired and sweating, and she sat on the floor mat of the playground, and she didn't have the extra energy to pay attention to the child's emotions.
By this time, her daughter had pooped, spilling from diaper to her pants and seeping onto the floor mat. She immediately picked up her daughter, tucked her left arm under her, took out a tissue and squatted down to wipe the mat, scolding her son as she wiped, trying to stop him from running away by shouting at him.
After wiping the mat, she wanted to pick up her daughter and go to the bathroom to change her diaper, the bathroom was on the opposite side of the playground, but she was worried about her son who was playing here. Seeing that she was tired and worried, I walked over to her and said: There is a monitor here, you go slowly, I will help you watch the child.
With this sentence, I noticed that her eyes were moist, and she said "thank you" to me repeatedly. When she came back, I called my daughter to play with her children in the sand, and we sat next to her to tease her daughter, and I comforted: "Two children and two children are good, when your little daughter goes to kindergarten, it will be easy."
After saying that, I felt like I was talking nonsense, and this chicken-dog-jumping scene could happen at any time in the next few years. In her life, holding a small one in her hand and roaring a big one in her mouth may be a common scene. The small one consumes her physical strength, and the big one consumes her mental strength.
Seeing her with the baby, I understood why some people on the Internet said that it was anti-human to let the mother take the baby alone, and it was unimaginably hard to delay the two.
Therefore, if there is no one at home to help take care of the child, you need to think carefully before giving birth to a second child, can you really bring it with you if you have an extra child? Can you really have no regrets in the years with the baby?
Finally, I want to say to all fathers, even if you are busy and tired at work, please take the baby from your mother after work, so that your mother can take a breather. Because taking a baby is really an extremely physical and mental thing, don't let the mother bear it alone.
02. Families with average economic conditions
Nowadays, having children and raising children is different from our time, and if you don't have enough financial strength, it is very hard to raise an extra child.
Wenwen's father can give you a budget, if you want to raise two children, how much will it cost?
Some people say that the income earned by the couple should be more than twice the average local salary, or the disposable income of the family should reach 15,000 per month.
For example, if your average monthly salary is 5,000 yuan, then the husband and wife will need 10,000 yuan. If you have a second child, the monthly income of both parties together will reach at least 20,000 yuan, and if there are necessary expenses such as housing loans and car loans, there may not be much left. Therefore, it is added that the monthly disposable income of the family needs to reach 15,000 yuan.
If the age difference between the two children is 3 years old or less, it means that all the expenses such as food, clothing, housing, transportation, study and entertainment will be doubled at the same time. For example, milk powder and diapers before the age of 3, training courses after school, living expenses......
Some parents may say that the second child can wear the clothes that the eldest was born in. It's true, but think about it, if the second child always wears the boss's leftover clothes, won't the second child have an inferiority complex in the long run? Low self-esteem in childhood will affect a child's life.
When the child is young, parents may not understand what it means to double the cost. For example, if you apply for a training class now, the cost of a year is about 5,000 yuan, and it is 10,000 yuan for two children. Nowadays, there are about 3 training courses for today's children, and you calculate, how much does the training course cost for several years?
When the children grow up and go to school, the annual living expenses, according to the average standard of local college students, are 2,000 a month, and the living expenses of two children will be 4,000 a month, and in the next 15 years or so, all expenses will be doubled, and families with low income may really not be able to bear it.
In addition to education expenses, there is also medical care, which cannot be ignored. Now when I go to the hospital with a cold, I can't get out without three or five hundred, and two children are double the expenses.
Therefore, if the family economic conditions are average, it is really recommended not to have a second child!
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