Many people think that if a house can be surrounded by mountains and rivers and the surrounding scenery is beautiful, it is good feng shui.
In fact, the best feng shui for a family is not the house, but the mode of family getting along.
As the writer Yishu said: "The biggest mistake we make in our daily life is to be too polite to strangers and too harsh to close people." ”
No matter when or what situation you encounter, don't hate any family member, actively adjust your emotions and attitudes, and naturally have a pattern of "home and everything is prosperous".
01
As a parent: don't hate anyone, parenting fairly.
There is a story in "Youyang Miscellaneous".
Li Jingye of the Tang Dynasty was born in an aristocratic family.
He has been riding horses and archery since he was a child, and he is very good at kung fu.
His grandfather, Xu Tao, sighed many times: "This child has a bad face, I'm afraid it will harm the family." ”
One day, when the teenage Li Jingye went hunting, his grandfather arranged for someone to set fire to the mountain.
I wanted to kill Li Jingye at once. But Li Jingye slaughtered the horse and hid in the belly of the horse.
When the fire was extinguished, Li Jingye came out of the horse's belly, covered in blood.
Think about it, Li Jingye knows that the elders regard themselves as a thorn in their eyes, how desolate is their hearts?
How many parents, in the process of raising children, because of the arrangement of grandparents or the chatter of other family members, decide that a certain child is not good, and thus abandon the child.
There are also some families where parents prefer sons over daughters and treat girls as grass, resulting in girls not being properly educated and unable to take charge of the family business. When the girl grows up, her mother's family will not have a bed for her, nor will she have a penny of property.
The partiality of parents brings favoritism over the other, and it is also a variety of family internal friction. Children who get benefits have nothing to fear, and children who don't get benefits are disheartened and hate their families.
Forward-thinking parents will treat their children as friends very early on, treating them equally. It may not be absolutely fair, but know how to communicate with children and maintain relative fairness.
After the girl gets married, she is still the baby of her mother's family, so she cares about it more and helps her more.
02
As a brother and sister: don't hate anyone, help each other.
"This is born from the same root, why is it too anxious to fry each other", if the old man sees his children fighting each other, how uncomfortable is this?
When brothers and sisters hurt each other, it is to minimize the strength of the big family and let outsiders take advantage of it.
There is a riddle: "Seven or eight brothers, sitting around a pillar, if they want to part, their clothes will be torn." ”
When siblings are born, they live around their parents, and when they grow up, they go their separate ways. But being separated does not mean that there is a breakup.
The answer to the riddle is "garlic".
Breaking the garlic is to plant it separately, so that there is a green garlic seedling. Then there was more garlic.
A good family, everyone works together, the eldest farms at home, the second goes to work, the third goes to open a company, and when someone is famous, they help each other and take a bright road.
When one family is in trouble, several families come to help, and when outsiders come to bully, they immediately unite, and outsiders will walk away.
Such a home is not worried about prosperity.
03
As a child: I don't hate anyone, and I don't blame my father for being poor.
The ancients said, "Filial piety is not better than brother." ”
We also have a saying: "Don't be ugly." ”
No matter what your parents do, put yourself in their shoes instead of blaming them.
When parents are very wrong, children can stand up and point it out, instead of being foolish.
When parents can't walk, they should bear their due obligations, instead of shirking their responsibilities, and compare the filial piety of their brothers and sisters.
Filial piety is priceless, once the inner balance is lost, it is inevitable that you will be very uncomfortable, and you will not want to be filial.
Let's say you give your mother 1,000 yuan for the holidays, but your brother only gives 100 yuan. If you get angry, it means that you don't have a pattern. Think about it, your financial conditions are better than your brother's, and you should give more money.
Let's say your home is spacious enough to accommodate your parents' room. Therefore, the old parents will not be able to leave, so they will live in your house. Don't refuse, otherwise your parents will go to your brother's house, and your brother's house won't have one, isn't this going to live a life of eating and sleeping in the open?
Supporting parents, contributing money, contributing efforts, and doing their best, filial piety will be easy.
04
As a couple: don't hate anyone, love each other.
Psychologist Tashiro writes in The Science of Forever Happiness: "As a partner, emotional stability is one of the important qualities, but it is underestimated. ”
Yes, when husband and wife are together, noisy and noisy are unavoidable.
The wife hates that her husband is incompetent, and the husband hates that his wife can't do housework well. The child is not angry, the husband and wife blame each other, and they hate everyone.
Couples are family members who come halfway through and need more run-in. I also want to exhaust the second half of my life and live a tacit life.
If you treat your lover as an outsider, and at all times, you have the attitude that "the child is your own good, and your wife is someone else's good", then you can't live a good life.
Cartoonist E. O. Braun lost his decent job because he was involved in political struggles.
Later, he went to work in a factory, published comics under another pen name, and his life slowly improved.
During the low period of his life, his wife worked hard and encouraged him many times.
On his deathbed, E. O. Braun wrote to his wife: "I paint for Germany...... Please raise him, and with a happy smile, I went. ”
Yes, the family has not become rich, but the husband and wife are grateful to each other and never get tired of each other, and the family has a noble spirit.
05
Hate is a double-edged sword.
Whoever you hate, will hurt you.
We have to go home every day, and when we go home, we meet our own families. The emotions you hate, you can only hurt yourself day by day, and if you think about it, it won't be long before you get scarred.
It is said that whoever you meet is the one who should appear in your life.
We can't get around our families for the rest of our lives, and we can't do without our families, so we love each other well. If you have a hateful thought, then reflect on yourself as soon as possible, what was wrong? Then, look for the benefits of your family and leave a grateful heart.
If you really can't get along with your family, don't hurt it, but keep a certain distance and grow up separately.
There is no perfect family in the world, and if there is, it is because of love.
No matter how stormy it is outside, please go home with the sunshine.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.