I remember a writer who said:
"It's terrible to think about being a parent without having to go through an exam. ”
Parents raise their children and determine what their children will look like in the future, but in reality, many parents do not know how to educate their children.
When the child is still young, parents should avoid these 4 education methods and do not mislead the child.
Arranged education
Some parents think that their children can't do anything, can't do laundry, can't pack school bags, and can't finish a beautiful hand-copied newspaper.
So while reprimanding the child for being too lazy and stupid, he directly started to help the child do everything.
Parents' minds are easy to understand, and they always feel that their children are not doing well, they are too slow, and they are more afraid that their children will do something wrong or hurt themselves, so they simply do everything by themselves.
The root of the arrangement lies in the parents' distrust, insecurity, and improper love for their children.
For the child, what he should have done by himself, he had the intention to learn to do it, but he was robbed of the opportunity by his parents, he hoped that he could do it well, but he was repeatedly attacked by his parents.
In the end, from being forced to accept the arrangement of his parents to being completely inseparable from the arrangement of his parents.
Behind a child who doesn't grow up, there must be a pair of parents who are unwilling to let go.
The Chinese Academy of Education Sciences conducted a survey on the family education status of more than 40,000 parents and children across the country, and found that:
86.92% of parents let their children do housework, and their children had excellent grades;
Parents believe that "as long as their children study well, they can do housework or not", and the proportion of children with excellent grades is only 3.17%.
There is a very different difference between a child who does housework and a child who does not do housework.
It's not just about doing housework, the child often does his own things, and his abilities and qualities in all aspects are obviously better than those of his peers.
Parents no longer do it, let their children try and grow, and children can really get room for improvement.
Cover up education
Many bear children are unruly, lack a sense of boundaries in their speech, and even often have conflicts with others, causing distress to others.
When a child makes a mistake, the first reaction of parents is not to educate, but to cover up.
"He's just a kid, how can you blame him?"
The bear child's naughtiness, to say the least, is "ignorant", but the indulgence of the bear parents is indeed offensive.
In the process of education, there is a problem with the three views of parents, which will lead children astray.
In June 2020, 4 children scratched more than 40 luxury cars, and the parents refused to pay 1.5 million yuan, and said that "the children are right, the property is responsible".
In October 2019, a 13-year-old boy in Dalian murdered a 10-year-old girl, and his parents helped him wipe off the bloodstains.
In August 2018, a female doctor in Deyang was offended by two 13-year-old boys, and after a conflict between the two sides, the boys' families were brought to the unit and committed suicide under the pressure of public opinion.
……
Parents who shield their children may be unable to bear it for a while, which may cause a lifetime of disaster.
People always say, "Children are the shadow of their parents." "A child's three views come from their parents, and a child's understanding of right and wrong also comes from his parents.
When parents repeatedly shield their children, they do not know that they have made mistakes, let alone that they should have paid the price for such behavior and accepted punishment.
In short, the parenting determines the upbringing of the child.
No matter whether the child is young or ignorant, let him understand the world correctly and do everything seriously.
Words and deeds are better than any education, and parents can better educate their children by setting an example, no longer covering up, no longer ignoring.
High-pressure education
Many parents envy the good grades of other people's children, and when they ask their parents for experience, those parents shake their heads and wave their hands:
"I never cared about his studies. ”
"He never had to worry about his studies. ”
Parents who suspect that the other person just don't want to share their experience come home and are stricter with their children, only to find that it backfires – their children's grades are worse and they hate learning more.
Really good grades are never obtained by high-pressure education.
In the 2020 college entrance examination, a pair of twin students in Hunan Province were admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University respectively, which became a topic of conversation for a while.
Their father said that his education level is not high, and he can't teach his children well, so he will accompany and talk with his heart.
When he was very young, he paid attention to developing good habits for his children, and when the habits were good, he would not have to worry about learning in the future.
After the children go to school in the county seat, he will take a two-hour shuttle bus to the school every weekend to talk to the children and accompany them to study.
"I want to know what they are doing at school, and I want them to feel that they are not fighting alone, they have me behind them, and there is strength!"
Suppression will not produce champions, and the company of parents is the best education.
In the process of a child's growth, if he is compared to a blank piece of paper, then the parents are the author.
If you want your child to have good grades, then cultivate good habits for him, if you want your child to have ideals, then take him to experience a different life, and if you want your child to have self-discipline, then be a good example for him.
A truly high-quality education is accompanied by the heart.
The real high-quality companionship is to accompany the child to guide learning and growth, and to enter the child's heart to be his spiritual guide.
Happy education
There was a popular saying before: happy education is the biggest scam of education.
Many parents only see "happiness", forget about education, and blindly indulge their children to "just be happy".
The child does not like to study, skips class and skips class, and the parents say that he is still young anyway, let him play, at least have a complete and happy childhood.
Children are unwilling to endure hardships, but they retreat whenever they encounter a little difficulty and setback, and parents let their children give up.
"As long as you are happy, don't educate" is just self-deception, in fact, the children raised in this way are not competitive in society at all.
Education has never been an easy and happy thing.
However, being able to get pleasure and a sense of accomplishment from learning, and then persistently continue to devote yourself to learning, is the true meaning of "happy education".
Although German parents pursue a happy education, they adhere to one principle: to satisfy their children in moderation, but not to indulge them.
Before implementing happy education, emphasize the rules with your children, so that they can find a sense of boundaries and security from the rules, so that they will not lose their way.
Emphasis is placed on cultivating children's life skills and social knowledge, so that children can develop holistically. By combining life and learning, children will not find learning boring.
Happy education is feasible, but it must be based on the premise of "education" and "rules".
We can't let our children become "examination machines" that only know how to read books, let alone let them grow up without knowing anything.
The best education is to let children happily become cultivated, knowledgeable, insightful, assertive and capable people in the process of learning and growing.