Broken threads, fleeting, and touching stones with eggs are all good love|story open mic

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Hello, welcome to the Story Microphone, this is the brand new unit of Story FM, we go offline to collect stories, witness a life face-to-face, and then bring some of them back to you.

The 4 stories you'll hear today are from Story FM's in-person event on January 28: "That's Good Love Too". It is said that the ancient Greeks used at least four words for "love": Eros, Philia, Storge, and Agape, which respectively described erotic love, fraternity, family love, and a divine and selfless altruistic love. We believe that there is more to love than one face, and that love brings infinite possibilities.

Or let's go back to the original question: What is love?

-1-

Ni Na

The first narrator of the day is Ni Na from Germany. She studied Chinese in college, studied in Tainan and Wuhan, worked in Shanghai, Guangzhou and Beijing, and now works as an interpreter and translator, telling us a story about her family in Chinese.

Hello everyone, my name is

Ni Na

。 My family background is complicated, my father was born in the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, my grandmother is Hungarian, and my grandfather is German. At the end of the 50s, my grandfather's father had a family meeting and announced that the family was going to emigrate to Germany, so my family packed their things and filled a train car with them, and they brought three barrels of lard for fear that they would not get used to eating in their new home.

When I was a child, my grandmother often told me stories about my hometown, and I loved to hear them, but she never told me the most touching stories. I want to share this story with you today, which is a story about my grandmother's love letters.

My father's hometown is an autonomous province of Serbia, today called the Autonomous Province of Vojvodina, which historically belonged to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia, the Kingdom of Hungary, the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, etc., and was a multi-ethnic region, where Serbia, Croatia, Hungary, Germany, Slovakia, Romania and other ethnic groups lived. Many people are fluent in several languages, for example my grandmother speaks Hungarian and Croatian, and my grandfather speaks Croatian and Hungarian in addition to his native German.

During World War II, Nazi Germany and Hungarian troops invaded my father's hometown, which became part of Hungary. The Hungarian and German armies brutally slaughtered the local Seavia and Jews, and the local German minorities were caught in the whirlpool of war, either voluntarily joining the Nazi German army or being forcibly drafted. In 1944, the Red Army and Tito's partisans prevailed over German and Hungarian forces, and the partisans applied the theory of collective guilt for the atrocities of the Nazi regime to the German minorities by taking retaliatory measures against them by killing, sending them to concentration camps, confiscating property, denying Yugoslav citizenship, and banning them from speaking German in public.

My grandfather and grandmother got married during this war-torn time, and my father was born in 1945. My grandfather had three younger sisters, all of whom had husbands who died on the battlefield, and they became widows who had to provide for their families on their own. At this time, my great-grandfather learned from distant relatives that there was a German policy to allow German descendants from Yugoslavia to return to Germany. In 1958, my great-grandfather decided to leave Yugoslavia and go to Germany, where my grandmother, my father, my aunt and others who did not speak the language, and they had to adapt to a completely unfamiliar environment and pace of life.

My grandmother used to live a quiet housewife life in her hometown, but after she moved to Germany, she became a female worker on an assembly line.

My grandma was 47 when I was born, and I have always been proud of my young, beautiful and lively grandma. Grandma didn't care much about the complex grammar of German, she spoke in her own way, there were a lot of sick sentences, and the Hungarian accent was very strong, but we could all understand it, and we also thought that grandma spoke very well and had a lot of personality.

Grandpa is a more serious person, he is 10 years older than grandma, he is organized, grandpa has high requirements for our children, loves to pick thorns, grandma is very spoiled us, very cheerful, so our children are very close to grandma, and grandpa has a sense of distance, I have always felt that grandpa and grandma are not a good match. Sadly, my grandmother passed away very young. She had stomach cancer and died in Germany in 1982 at the age of 59.

Grandpa only lived a few years longer than Grandma and then left us as well. When the family was disposing of my grandparents' belongings, they found a brown paper envelope containing more than 150 letters, and as soon as my father opened these letters, he knew that it was my grandmother's love letter, but the person who wrote the love letter was not my grandfather, but my grandmother's boyfriend before she got married. It took his father a month to read the letters, and he slowly understood the story of his grandmother's first love, which he had been hiding in his heart.

The ex-boyfriend's name is Nándor, and my grandmother met Nándor in her hometown, and the two quickly fell in love. Nándor was studying law at university in Budapest, and her grandmother was at the teachers' college in her hometown, and they corresponded from 1941 to 1944. At that time, the whole of Europe was at war, and in addition to romance, Nándor also shared with my grandmother a lot of ideas about literature, history, and politics at the time, and he was firmly opposed to fascist ideas, opposed to the murder of the Jews, and they had a deep exchange with each other. Because Nándor was so beautifully written, my father was so engrossed and moved by the letters that he even wanted to get to know Nándor.

Unfortunately, I don't speak Hungarian and I can't read the letters that my father read, but I think they should be very valuable to my grandmother, otherwise she wouldn't have taken them to Germany and kept them for future generations.

Also in the stack of letters was a bulletin sent to her from her hometown decades ago by her grandmother's aunt, a message about a judge who had been sentenced to several years in prison for hitting and killing a man with his car. In the small city of my grandmother's hometown, the judge's imprisonment is relatively big news.

The judge who was sentenced happened to be Grandma's predecessor, Nándor. My grandmother's aunt was still alive in her hometown, so my father wanted to learn more about Grandma and Nándor from her. My aunt told my father that my grandmother and the Nándor family had always had a good relationship, and that the two young people were in love, which made the two families happy. But when Nándor returned to her hometown during the summer vacation in 1944, she brought a female classmate back to her hometown from Budapest, and her grandmother was very sad and jealous when she saw this scene. At that time, my grandfather had already taken a fancy to my grandmother and kept chasing her, and my grandmother agreed to my grandfather marrying him in a fit of anger.

One of the reasons why my grandmother's father was very opposed to the marriage was that my grandfather was German, but my grandmother was stubborn and married my grandfather. After getting married, my grandmother quit her job as an elementary school teacher and became a housewife and mother of three. Through my grandmother's aunt, my father quickly got Nándor's contact information, and my father took up the pen and wrote the first letter to Nándor:

"Hello, I'm Matthias, Jolly's eldest son, and my mother has sadly passed away. 」

Nándor replied immediately. The first words he wrote were: "Dear Matthias, I have seen you. Your mother was strolling a stroller on the riverbank of her hometown. 」

Since then, Nándor and my father have been in regular correspondence, and my father was surprised to find that Nándor actually knew something about his grandmother in Germany. He knew that my grandmother had three granddaughters and a grandchild, that my father was a secondary school teacher, and that my aunt was married to a Hungarian who had fled to Germany. Actually, these were all told to her by my grandmother's aunt, who also kept telling my grandmother about Nándor's situation.

His father learned from Nándor's letter that after his hometown became part of the Yugoslav Republic, Nándor left Budapest to continue his university studies in Belgrad, where he became a judge of great prestige. Nándor married a local Jew who was persecuted by the Nazi invaders, sent to a concentration camp, and at the age of 14 was rescued from Auschwitz, where they had two daughters. Because of their particular family background, Nándor's wife and two daughters did not like to see him correspond regularly with my father, mainly because the letters came from Germany.

In 1987, Nándor's wife and daughter went to Israel to visit relatives, and while they were away, my father drove there

The Yugoslav family visited Nándor and the two of them got along very closely, Nándor was a quiet, thoughtful, knowledgeable man who made a deep impression on my father. Nándor lamented at the time: "It's a shame that Jolly left so early, it's a shame."

After returning to Germany, my father and Nándor continued to correspond, but three years later, my father suddenly stopped receiving letters from Nándor, and we guess that he had died in his hometown.

This is the story of my grandmother, a love that is broken by the thread.

-2-

Luo Haiyue

The protagonist of the second story is Luo Haiyue, the first CFRE (Registered Professional Fundraiser) certification recipient in Chinese mainland, who has worked at the United Nations Headquarters, the Inter-American Dialogue, and the Mangrove Wetland Conservation Foundation. 

In 2007, he founded Ofund in the UK, which is the UK's largest education organization in China. Since then, he has worked in nonprofit management and fundraising-related fields both domestically and internationally. Now, he is the head of public welfare operations of a well-known domestic enterprise, and the story he wants to share today is also related to public welfare.

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The day before participating in the event, Luo Haiyue kicked a ball and broke his leg, so he came on crutches

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There are some strange things about my profession, as you may have heard just now, I am a professional fundraiser, I don't know if you have seen it. What I do is to help non-profit organizations and these organizations in need to raise funds.

This is a highly specialized job in foreign countries, just like a certified accountant, lawyer, etc., it has a relatively high technical threshold behind it, and you have to pass a series of exams and studies and 5-7 years of practice before you have a way to do such a thing. However, in China, because the professionalism of public welfare organizations is not strong enough, the fundraising of public welfare organizations is not a special person and professional thing, which is also a very important reason why we may encounter a lot of chaos now. That's why I've always told people that the work I do is actually "selling love".

Because I believe that everyone has love in their hearts, what the fundraiser does is actually to find a way to take out everyone's love through money and help those who are short of money, so I have been doing this thing.

In fact, I have been doing public welfare since I was an undergraduate in college, I started my own public welfare foundation in the summer of my freshman year, and since then I started to do student aid, and in the ten years since, my small organization may have been funding, and by now more than 800 students should have completed their studies. It's not that I thought about doing something for so long as I set out, but more that I got there step by step.

But in the middle of it, I had a big change of heart. When I first started doing this, I had that kind of savior complex, because for the first time, I felt that I had the power to help others, and I felt so powerful at that time, right? You can do a little bit of something, and the child here can actually take care of him for a year if you give him 300 or 500 yuan. At that time, you felt that with my ability, I could help a lot of children, and at first it was a very high state, until after I helped more children later, you began to become numb.

At this time, when you hear some touching stories, you don't feel much anymore, because for you, when he is the 50th, 60th, 70th child, one is that you no longer have the spirit to understand what his real experience is, and the other is that the sad and unfortunate stories that you hear will be repeated over and over again. So for three or five years, I didn't really feel the strength and love that these kids brought to me, and I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew that this organization was going to operate, so I kept doing that.

And then there's a special kid, and what I want to tell today is this story, which I came across very early in my life when I first started working as a student assistant. When I met her, she was about the second or third grade, in the Tibetan area of Sichuan, a child in Ganzi Prefecture, who didn't speak Mandarin very well, everyone in the primary school class was about 9 years old, and she was almost 15 years old, because the local children were when you opened primary school and when I started school, so the first wave of children didn't have to be the school age to join. Even I felt like she wasn't sure how old she was, and she felt like she was in her teens.

We've been sponsoring this child, and I'm probably going to pay more attention to her personally. Fast forward five or six years, and once when I went to look for her, she was about to take the college entrance examination, and no matter what kind of grades she had, she should at least be able to go to a local school similar to a technical secondary school, and she was about to leave his county seat.

Because at that time, the quota for college enrollment should have been released, as long as you are willing to go to school, you can basically still go to school, it is nothing more than how much money you have to pay, and how good a school you can go to. The time I saw her, it was probably when I came back from abroad, and I didn't see her for two or three years. I knew that after seeing her this time, I don't know how long it would take to see her next time, so we went for a walk on the back hill of her house, and I wanted to walk with her, because the next time I saw her would probably be years away.

She didn't say much to me along the way, she kept asking me, when will you come next time, when will I see you again, I can't see you yet? I think it's very strange, because I think if you want to see me or I want to see you, it's a very easy thing to do, although it's far away, but as long as you want to go, I'll be there for a weekend.

But I later understood what she was talking about: she thought, once she got into the city, would I feel like my mission was over? Because this is a job for me, I will never see her again? That meeting was actually very important to her, but this is something that I realized later.

When I was leaving, she took my backpack and took a thick stack of homework books, the kind of homework books with a field grid, and a thick stack of homework books stuffed into the bottom of my bag, and she said you go back and look at it.

And then I thought it was very strange, and I stuffed a pile of papers before I left, what kind of thing is this? I said okay, okay, I'll go back and look at it, and then I did get on the plane and go back to Shenzhen, and then when I was packing my luggage, I remembered that this stack of papers was at the bottom of my backpack.

I took it out and saw what it was? It was what she had poured out to me over the past four years. Every time she encountered difficulties, she didn't know how to tell her teachers or her peers, and she would write a letter. Because I was abroad at the time, she didn't know how to send me that letter, and she didn't know how to call me, and she also felt that these things were very small, and there was no need to tell you everything, but you seemed to be the only person in your life who would care about it.

Because her background is more atypical: she is the youngest of 7 children in her family, and her father was already in his 80s when she was still in high school, so it can be said that she is the least valued child. There are a lot of details in the letter, but I can think of a few points that really touched me, one is that she realized that she was short-sighted since she was about the time of the high school entrance examination, because she sat in the first row of the classroom and still couldn't see the blackboard clearly, but she always felt that it was because she didn't work hard enough, and she didn't know that she had myopia. She thinks that I shouldn't be working hard enough, I can't read what is written on the blackboard, many classmates can see clearly when they sit behind me, but why can't I read clearly when I sit in the first row, do I not know how to study?

At this time, if someone around her can quickly find out about the problem, they can actually give her a solution very easily, but she doesn't. She was a very low self-esteem child, but she would write it as a letter and keep it, because she didn't know when the next time she would see me, so she kept saving it.

There are also some situations, such as when she participated in the school sports day, because she was older than other children, so she must have an advantage, she even ran faster than many boys in the school, and then everyone thought she was a monster. Everyone thinks: you are a girl running so fast, you must be abnormal, you may be a boy, you are not a girl, a girl is impossible to run so fast. She didn't know who to talk to about this, so she could only slow down and not run fast during physical education classes like school, so that everyone wouldn't pay attention to her. These stories are written in her homework book.

I also found out after reading the homework book, because I knew too many stories of these children before, I may have ignored the energy that a person may have in another person's heart and the changes it can bring to her, for us, it may be some very simple, even for us to repeat some actions and love, but in the other person's heart may be a very important force to support her from not knowing how many difficulties to the present.

So today I would like to share this story with you, one is to express my emotions, and the other is to hope that you can remember some very small kindnesses in life. It's likely that you didn't think much about it when you gave it, but it can change a lot of things in the other person's life, and vice versa.

-3-

Kokichi

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The protagonist of the third story is Xiao Ji, a 24-year-old from Guangzhou who is now a legal practitioner in Hong Kong. She couldn't come to the event, so she shared her story online, and what you were about to hear was a voice from Hong Kong.

(To protect the privacy of the narrator, we changed the voice of Ji's story.) ）

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Good evening everyone, I am

Kokichi

The story I'm going to share today is related to my ex, my ex-husband to be exact.

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It was probably in the spring of 2022, when the pandemic broke out in Hong Kong, the city was in full lockdown, and people were panicking, and my roommates and I stayed at home for almost two months. Spring is always the season of the year when my depression is at its maximum, so my good French friend couldn't stand my continuous negative emotions and recommended me an online dating app commonly used by foreigners.

The registration was originally just to kill some closed time at home, I chatted with a few male guests, some of them would be more greasy and frivolous to contact, and some of them were basically gone because I didn't reply for a long time, and my ex stood out with his persistent daily greetings and the politeness of modern normal people, and became my only and first male guest to meet offline.

The first meeting was at my house, because there were dine-in restrictions in Hong Kong at that time, and we couldn't go anywhere, so my roommate and I decided to have a McDonald's takeaway dinner at home. My ex crossed Kowloon and Hong Kong Island to the house of a strange woman in the New Territories for a date, and he was very nervous, because the story of the fairy jump was too vigilant, and he even took out his ID card and credit card from his wallet before going out, and then came to the appointment with trepidation.

He has a habit of gushing when he is nervous, so the whole meal is listening to him blast his love for classical music, how to stand out in the college entrance examination, how to get a full scholarship to Asia's top universities, etc., my roommate and I are like a "black and white cow cat" emoji the whole time, and we can only nod ignorantly.

In fact, I was reluctant to continue dating him at first, because the backgrounds and knowledge levels of the two people were too different, and they had nothing in common. We decided to be together after about three months of dating, and of course I was on the hesitant side throughout the whole process, and I didn't feel very emotional about him all the time, and I wanted to break up. He was a Christian, and one morning we had made an appointment to go to Sunday Mass together, and I had already made up my mind to part with him before I went out, but when I got to church, I fell in love with him as if I were electrocuted again when I saw him kneeling on the mat with his hands folded.

There are a lot of factors that make me like him, and I started my first job in the summer of 2020. The beginning of the legal profession in Hong Kong was very difficult, and every day was on the edge of emotions. In addition, the working atmosphere of the local law firm in Hong Kong - of course, it may just be our law firm - is not very good, and my colleagues are deceitful to me, and I am not very happy every day like the Hong Kong version of "The Legend of Zhen Huan".

But at that time, my predecessor happened to be in the summer vacation from undergraduate to graduate school, and he had more free time, so every morning he would hold my hand and rush from the New Territories to work in Central, and then send me downstairs to the company, and then hurriedly go downstairs to buy me the breakfast I want to eat today and bring it to me, and he would go back to his dormitory to sleep, pick me up at noon, and pick me up from work at night. This day-to-day companionship provided a lot of emotional support, at least at the beginning of my work.

Then there is the new crown, our family of three with the cat Quanyang, I was in a very bad state, burned until I fainted, he carried me to the hospital in the middle of the night, called my mother, and comforted my family. He himself has received three shots of the Pfizer vaccine, so as long as he leaves my residence in time, he will most likely not be infected, but he still insists on taking care of me every step of the way, for example, I am burned and can't blow the wind, he can continue to blow the air conditioner in the living room (because the summer in Hong Kong is really hot), but he sits on the floor next to my bed, opens a small door to blow the wind, and guards me.

At that time, in fact, I had taken off the aura of appearance, burned black and ugly, and my whole person exuded the kind of oil and gas that I hadn't bathed and washed my hair for a few days, but he still hugged me every day and kissed me, and kept praising me for being beautiful. Anyway, during my illness, I was very happy, I didn't go to work, so I could only hug two people locked in a small room.

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When we were in the new crown, it was not only me who took off the skin of a beautiful woman, but he also took off the arms I didn't like and became nonsensical and cute, and our daily routine at home was to watch cartoons together, learn to talk to kittens, and sleep. It was probably the first Sunday of his recovery, which was his baptismal day, and my roommate and I took the subway to St. John's Church in Central to get baptism. On the way, I joked with him, "I really want to marry you." My roommate was a hearty Tianjin girl, and she said, "Okay, if you two don't get married, you'll have a grandson." So I started texting my HR and I said I was going to take a leave of absence tomorrow because I was going to the marriage registry office to get married, and he started registering on the marriage registry website and saying that one day we were going to register. My roommate was just stupid, and it was really a ridiculous beginning.

婚礼那一天，我打扮成暗黑色新娘，穿着全黑的礼服和头纱去了婚姻登记处，当登记处的文员让我们起立，宣读誓言时，我手持黑色捧花，我们四目相对，我看着他的眼睛说：「 I, 小吉，would take thee, xxx as my lawful, wedded husband, till death do us apart. 」

After the end, we invited our friends to have afternoon tea at Oriental Mandarin, which was regarded as a small banquet, because we were married without telling our parents, so we filled in a row of asterisks in the name column of our parents in the registration office.

Two months after he got married, he was going to study in Oxford, and I started crying a week before he left. I'm not a person who focuses a lot on my feelings, and even my family and friends sometimes think I'm a little affectionate. But when my lawyer asked me, "Xiao Ji, your husband is leaving Hong Kong, will you be sad?" I really replied with red eyes, "If I hadn't experienced happiness, I wouldn't have known how boring and sad my life was." I cried at the Hong Kong airport, and he cried at the last minute before going through security, saying I was his home.

Even though he left Hong Kong, he still wanted to take care of my life as before, so every morning he would wait for me to get up, call me, and then order my favorite breakfast to be sent to the company, and he would go to sleep in the early morning when he saw me eating breakfast at the company, and every week we would receive such a big bouquet of flowers at the reception, and the sisters at the reception always joked that my husband was so good to me.

It seemed that he did his best to fulfill all of his boyfriend's obligations remotely, and even on my birthday, he messaged me saying "Honey, your birthday present is back!" with a round-trip ticket to Hong Kong. At that time, he broke his hand in Europe and came back with a plaster, and at that time, Hong Kong had just announced the exemption from the epidemic quarantine measures for returning from abroad, and he grabbed a very expensive air ticket, just to come back to spend a birthday with me.

Soon after, I couldn't stand the life of a couple living apart, so I submitted my resignation to the company. Two weeks before Christmas 2022, I was alone in the UK, at Heathrow Airport, and when I saw him, he was holding a small sign with a picture of a cinnamon dog on it, because he thought I looked like a cinnamon dog, and so was my personality.

He welcomed me home, we hugged me tightly, he said "let's not be apart anymore", and we even blocked the passers-by. When I got home, he had already brewed warm honey water, my favorite tulips and chocolates on the table, and my favorite dry white wine in the fridge.

I've been having a low-grade fever since I arrived in the UK. On the morning of December 23, while we were seeing patients at the hospital, he received a message from his father telling him to go home as soon as possible. He tentatively asked his father several times, but his father just said, "It's not very convenient, you should come back first", and his mother did not reply to any messages from him. He returned to his parents' house that night, and for four hours he didn't send me a message at all, and I was anxious to wait alone in England.

The moment he went online again, the first message he sent was: The sky is falling.

I think some of my friends should have guessed that, yes, his parents found out that we were secretly married and then lived together in the UK. And that's not all, but there is also the most feared and embarrassing scene where everyone picks their toes: his mother also found my Weibo account.

My Weibo friends are all close friends I have known at all stages of my life for so many years, most of them are girls, and I will not be defensive against strangers at all, which can be called my personal crazy little world. His mom wouldn't have died if she had found me on any of my other social media, like Instagram, or my circle of friends.

I have a bad habit of smoking cigarettes for many years, I also have a lot of tattoos, I can swear, I have other boyfriends before, these are all in my Weibo, you can flip down one by one to turn out the things from a few years ago. His father even gave me seven counts of smoking, hangovers, tattoos, scantily cladying, lesbianism, nasal studs, and going to the casino. "Is there anything else you have to defend your girlfriend, or is it your wife?" said his father.

I once posted a post on Weibo saying, "I don't have to be a mother when I have my period!" His father said sternly, "Even if she posts her period on Weibo, does she still have any shame?" His parents even thought that I had sex with another man, and they checked my ex-husband's passport and entry records very forcefully before giving up.

It was the feeling that for the first time I felt my body completely exposed to the gaze, the humiliation of others, the humiliation of prejudice, and I felt like I was incomplete. They are a family of scholars, and I don't deserve their excellent children.

Then we had a heated argument and took turns to break down. During a certain quarrel, my ex-husband finally mentioned that he hated me for lying on the couch with nothing to do and scrolling Tik Tok every day, he didn't like the way I didn't learn, he hated the ignorance I showed when he mentioned Zelensky, and all my things made his father's words repeat in his ears. His father said: You like only her appearance now, you are disturbed by the passion between you, you are carried away by your mind, you will slowly find out that you are not from the same class at all, you are not suitable, you will regret it.

We went to London together on New Year's Eve, and the two of us scoffed at the New Year's Eve countdown, but at 11:40, I said, "Why don't we go to New Year's Eve?" and the two of us were like puppies, in our pajamas and open crotch pants, running wildly on the subway to the downtown square. When the last minute of 2022 arrived, the audience cheered and greeted 2023, and we kissed in front of the grand fireworks, as if the fireworks at that moment were a sign that our summer was as gorgeous and fleeting as the fireworks.

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In January 2023, we decided to go to Finland for our belated honeymoon. My last night in Finland was in the glass house in Santa Claus Village, which was the long-awaited residence. I've been thinking about the detached villa with its private hot springs hidden in the forest, since October, but when I woke up in the morning in the snowy glass house of the forest, I turned my head to hug him, but he didn't hug me back.

He muttered, "How can this be?" I didn't quite understand, and I asked him, "What do you mean?" and he said, "How come I don't even feel like I'm sleeping with you in my arms?"

I was really devastated, I thought we could get back together after this trip, but I ignored him on the way back and didn't shed tears until I got home.

When I woke up the next morning, he had already left the house, and I thought he was out of the library, but when I came out of the living room, I saw that a corner of the desk was open, and a corner of my marriage certificate was exposed. I thought he was taking it out for review, so I pulled out the outer shell of the marriage certificate, and when I opened it, the original document inside was gone.

I had a premonition of uneasiness, and I immediately sent a message to him to ask him what was going on, and he replied that he had taken it to apply for annulment of the marriage. I looked at the 8 big characters on the shell of the marriage certificate, "A hundred years of good union, forever united heart", and my whole body trembled. I don't know what kind of mentality I had when I went to the bathroom, I started to shower, it was cold, I was in a trance, and I kept cutting myself with a knife.

When he came back, he saw me naked, and the first thing he said was, "Do you think it's possible for me to like you the way you are?"

It was so confusing at that time, there were a lot of details because I was so sad, so my brain automatically blocked out, I should have knelt down, or I could have begged him, I don't remember.

He finally booked me a flight back to Hong Kong on March 19th, which was the day we first met.

We stopped saying "love" when I came back from Finland, but when I left him, he cried and told me that he loved me. What is love, is love a momentary emotional impact, or is it not to give up on the promise of each other? I still can't answer this question, and I'm fed up with looking for traces of being loved, evidence of being loved.

After a long period of mental and emotional disturbance, I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and heart disease after returning home, and I tried to understand that this is the price of love. The place where we live every day is what we used to call paradise, and looking at every corner where there is a figure when we fall in love, I start to work and live again, and it took a while.

He came back last November, and he won a prestigious international scholarship to become an outstanding young scholar who would continue to study for a PhD at Oxford. I then got a scholarship to a law school in the U.S. to pursue another law degree in August of this year.

I'm about to forget that our common goal was to get into an American university together and live in the United States together. We haven't been in touch since he left, and we shouldn't have crossed paths in the future, it's like a lifetime away, though occasionally he appears in my dreams, in the moment of love before the summer night.

I used to be his wife, his lover, and his puppy, and our love was as gorgeous and fleeting as fireworks, but I still think it was good love.

-4-

Vega

The fourth narrator is a flamenco dancer, Vega, 38, who runs a dance studio in Beijing. Her daily routine is to be with the women, dancing, dancing a lot. In her opinion, students have all kinds of shining points, some are extremely capable of business, some are super empathetic, and some are particularly creative, but many women will repeatedly confirm whether they are "normal", which makes her very sad.

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Hello home, I am

Vega

It's a flamenco dancer, and I know you're going to be a little disappointed when I come up, because that's what you're expecting a flamenco dancer, and that's what I am.

Let me introduce myself a little bit more, I am from Ningbo, half of them are Korean, and my mother is Korean, so in fact, my composition is more complicated, and I have been constantly flowing with the work of my parents, which is somewhat a bit of a gypsy, right?

When I was in college, I saw a YouTube video, which is flamenco, and I thought at the time: Oh my God, there is such a handsome thing in the world! This incident is very shocking to me, a very straightforward reason, so I found my flamenco teacher in Shanghai, she should also be the first teacher to teach flamenco in China.

After four years of college, my family found me a job at Ningbo TV Station in my hometown, because my major is the right one, but I always seem to be like when I was admitted to the drama in the third year of high school, and when I graduated from college, suddenly a voice decided to let me change my own life and destiny. At that time, I wanted to go to Spain, and that desire came very suddenly, but it was also very strong, because when I was younger, I thought that if I didn't go I would die, and that's what I thought.

So I lied to my mom and said that I was going to Spain to study film, and even my mom laughed: What kind of film are you going to study in Spain? And then I said, "Do I want to study journalism?"

So I confided in my mom that I really wanted to learn flamenco, that I wanted to go to Spain, so I would go for a year, please, and I would be back in a year. I'm very grateful to my mother, because my mom actually had a basic trust in me when I made these really sudden decisions, and my mom said, if that's what you think, you can go.

Then I went to Spain, which sounds like a very romantic story, isn't it? A young girl goes to Spain to pursue her dream of dancing, but when I get to Spain, I find that it is far from that, I am in Seville, which is the southern part of Spain, the capital of Andalusia, and Andalusia is also the birthplace of flamenco.

In a month, my honeymoon with Seville was over. In my first year, I went to a flamenco college, which belongs to the dance major, and the flamenco circle is very interesting, as if all the values are framed by flamenco, if you dance well, then you are great, if you dance badly, then you have no right to speak.

When I first came in, I met a teacher who basically knocked me out as soon as I entered the classroom, why? Because I didn't comb my hair, I wasn't the kind of dancer who went in with bright hair, and then I had bangs or something, and the teacher said, "When you learn how to comb your hair, you can learn to dance again." Then I spent about 10 minutes outside crying and combing my hair.

Of course, one of the reasons is also because the first year was actually a rookie, and you know, in fact, dance teachers, especially traditional dance teachers, they speak very bluntly, and I didn't know that there was the word PUA back then, so I couldn't refute her. She just pointed to my face and said, "I think you're dancing like, and if I were you, I'd buy a plane ticket back to your country right now." 」

My first year at that school was quite miserable, the teachers didn't want to see me, my classmates treated me like air, I just went out to school every day, then practiced dancing, and then went home and cried in the sofa, and so on for about a year. There were probably countless times when I wanted to come back, but when I thought about it, if I really went home, wouldn't I have fulfilled my teacher's wish?

When I'm in class until now — and I'm on stage it's another thing — my hair is still messy when I'm in class, and I think it's a kind of rebellion against the days of never combing my hair. Of course, there's nothing to be proud of.

Later, as my dancing progressed, I would start wanting to perform. It's normal, because the end of the dance is the stage, and we use our bodies to tell you a story, and today you see that I am telling you a story in words, in fact, it's the same, I really like the stage and the theater, but it didn't go well at first. How difficult it is: when I have to queue up to go to "Peña", which is a place that local folks and enthusiasts love to see, if I have to go to Peña to queue up, my application will be pressed all the time, and you will find that I am in front of my European classmates, and then my Japanese classmates will be treated better than me.

Until I met one of my mentors, this mentor is the muse of the famous Spanish director Carlos Sola, she is also the female dancer of the Barcelona Olympic Games opening ceremony, and the well-deserved Spanish national treasure female dancer Cristina Hoyos.

Cristina has always had a deep relationship with China, an old friend of the Chinese, and she watched me dance seriously and said: You come to dance with me.

So I am very grateful to Cristina , I should be the first Chinese to perform at the Flamenco Museum in Cristina and Cristina gave me a lot of advice on dance and life. Actually, it was quite realistic, after I met the nobles, all of a sudden my road in Spain became smoother, I started to get jobs, I had the opportunity to give my own dance plays, I could make my own voice in Seville.

It's also interesting because I've been in Seville for almost six years, and in the fifth year you find that when the dance progresses, you get to know the teacher very well, and if I go to a teacher's class, if I come in at the end, the teacher will make me stand in the first row. At this time, I always think about the year, I was in that school, I was always pressed in the last row by the teacher, I couldn't struggle, so I often think about what happened to me in the first year.

In my fifth year in Spain, I became very anxious because I didn't know what to do. I decided that I wanted to go with flamenco for the rest of my life, but to be honest, I couldn't live with flamenco in Spain, where flamenco dancers earn mainly a few parts, and you know, it's not profitable to actually create and perform, like a lot of first-line dancers, including my good friend Ana Morales, who just won the National Dance Award Only at this level, the top flamenco dancers, the government will allocate a part of the money to them, so most flamenco dancers have only two paths.

The first way is to start classes to earn money, and the second way is that if you have traveled to Spain, you will see that they have some taverns where you can dance and earn money, and generally these two ways are the way.

The second one is completely dead for me, and I understand it very well, because if you are a tourist, even if I go to the show as a tourist, I don't expect to see an oriental face, so I understand it very much. I believe that everyone has their own mission, so I thought, otherwise I will go back to China to spread the art of flamenco, because I really like flamenco, it's really interesting, I want to say, I want to be an Amway, isn't it actually meaningful? So at the end of 2015, I came to Beijing and opened my own flamenco studio, called Lucero, which means Daystar, because my own name Vega is Vega.

From day one, I wanted this dance studio to be a haven from the wind. My job is to work with women all the time, I have almost no male students, and there is only one boy in our classroom at the moment, so I know a lot of girls and I have a lot of stories about women. Because flamenco is actually a spirit of resistance, let me briefly say that flamenco is an art created by four people: Gypsies, Arabs, Jews and Spanish Catholics, and it is an art created by the people at the bottom.

In its whole composition, you will find that the infidels, that is, the outcasts of the foreigners, occupy the main position. But it is such a mixed-race, foreigner's art, which today has become the quintessence of Spain, because the life of these people is flamenco, life is not satisfactory, nine times out of ten, so the flamenco they create is "I know that eggs will break when they touch stones, but I want to touch with you", this thing is flamenco. That's why I've always loved flamenco.

Many of my students are attracted to flamenco, in fact, for some reason, they work in all walks of life, and I always tell my students that as a woman, I just dance better in flamenco than everyone else. I get in touch with every woman and I find her very shining, but there's one thing that makes me very sad: when we get familiar and they start to want to share their stories with me, they always ask the question, "Am I weird? Am I different? Am I abnormal?" and then I would say to them, you think, three-quarters of the creators of flamenco were strangers at the time, they were all abnormal people, so what? They have a tremendous amount of energy to create such a living art, it's like a straight punch, it's not tactful at all.

Flamenco is really not tactful at all, and its lyrics are particularly characteristic. I'll share it with you a little bit, for example, "I want the fire to come down to your mother", and I often share it with my students, because it's so funny, and he says, "I want the fire to come down to your mother, why? Because you gossip", which is pretty much the lyrics.

There is another very violent lyric, which is also about a couple quarreling, saying that I had a quarrel with you, "I want to stab you as many times as this duck has as many hairs", and it is also very vivid, like many flamenco these things are derived from their real life and emotions. It's amazing that my students, and in fact I've always been, I've always felt that I'm not normal, and after learning flamenco, you will find that in flamenco envy or hatred is allowed.

The most important thing my teacher ever said to me was "You have to dance like a person", people with seven emotions and six desires. So when the girls in my classroom question themselves, I really want them to be able to release themselves in flamenco.

Actually, flamenco has all kinds of music, it has different meanings, it's not just "Carmen", it actually has a more vigorous vitality than "Carmen", I am often used as tap dance, but you see I came here in dancing shoes today, our dancing shoes are nails, we are not the same as tap dance, it is that the sound we want to come out is to go underground, because we want to connect to the ground.

Flamenco is actually an art that spends most of its time narrating suffering, so you get the feeling that it's not quite the same as tap dancing, and I'm going to show you a little bit.

This is flamenco, we want to go underground and find ourselves, we want to find a force to fight. Including the movements of our upper body, you see the movements of the flamenco dancer's upper body, she is frowning, she has a sense of resistance, that is, you are not allowed to do this, but you have to do it. Our arms never fall directly from above, but will always be like a person who does not let you come down, flamenco's arms whether they rise or fall, as if they are always trapped by something, but we will never be trapped in it, we will definitely try all kinds of ways, like a trapped beast is doing its last struggle, we will use our own lives to struggle and break free.

So I think this is one of the great charms of flamenco, and that's why so many sisters can find strength in flamenco – and of course, brothers, too.

Finally, I would like to share one thing, that is, on New Year's Day, Spanish national treasure dancer Maria Pagés had a performance at the National Center for the Performing Arts on New Year's Day, "Arabian Nights", which was a feminist performance, because Maria cares very much about the situation of women. She uses an Arabic story as a backdrop, but is talking about the current situation of women.

She also came to my classroom when she came to Beijing to perform and did a very short workshop. Maria is in her 60s, has silver hair, and the last thing she tells us is to never stop dancing, never stop dancing flamenco, because flamenco is something that looks inward. We will have many reasons to give up flamenco, such as I have to take care of my husband, I have to take care of my children, I am too busy with work...... But don't give up flamenco, don't give up your time for dancing, in fact, flamenco can be replaced by anything, anything you love.

When Maria said this, the expression on her face was very kind, and many of the more than 20 girls below were crying.

Because I started learning flamenco in 2007 and this year I am about to enter my 17th year of life with flamenco, and at that moment, seeing the expression on Maria's face, seeing the expression on the face of my own students, I really only had two words in my mind: it was great.

Among the answers we have gathered, some people say that love is a journey together, and love is a beautiful journey. We hope that by listening to this episode, you will have a wonderful time with us by listening to these four different life stories.

If nothing else, this is the last update of Story FM before the Spring Festival, and in the new year, we wish you health and happiness and live a loving life.

Here's the story microphone, thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Acknowledgement

RØDE is a global leader in audio technology with a mission to expand the voices and horizons of the world's creators. With a storied history spanning more than 50 years, RØDE is a uniquely Australian owned and operated company with a passion for innovation, an unwavering commitment to quality, and a constant commitment to making incredible audio accessible to everyone. From the beginning, we've been at the forefront of creator technology, revolutionizing everything from home studio recording to filmmaking audio to podcasting with iconic products that continue to inspire.

我们是Today's Creative Generation 的选择。

This time, the story was opened, and Didi once again prepared some warm travel benefits for the friends present.

The Spring Festival is approaching, Didi wishes every friend on the road to go home safely and happily.

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 Welcome to "Follow" Story FM 

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-photography

Chen Kaiyue

 Staff 

Narrator |

倪娜罗海岳 小吉 Vega

Producer |

Li Makihara

Anchor | 

Li Makihara

Sound Design | 

Li Makihara

Copywriting neat

Rationale | 

Li Makihara

Mix |

Li Makihara

Photography |

 old

Hyatt

Operations |

Yoyo 鸣鸣

 BGM List 

01.Storyfm main theme acoustic - 彭寒

02.Life Circle 新生活 - 彭寒

03. Interception Light - Kuwasen

04.Long Long Corridor - 彭寒

05.A Room 爱情的复杂性 - 彭寒

06.Ashes In My Memory 尘埃 - 彭寒

07. The land is open and holds your breath - Peng Han

Produced by: Sound Story Media"

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It is a voice program that is self-reported by the witnesses

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