There is a popular saying in the funeral culture of the countryside: "If the husband and wife do not send the funeral, the funeral will suffer".
This colloquial phrase reveals the special position of old couples in funeral rituals and the cultural and psychological reasons behind them.
In rural areas, the death of the elderly is often carried out with complex funeral rituals, and the other half of the elderly couple is often considered not to be involved in the funeral process.
The main reason for this phenomenon can be interpreted in two ways.
First of all, the other half of the elderly couple should not go to the funeral, because in the rural funeral culture, the deceased elderly usually park in their yard for several days and then perform the funeral in the village.
On the day of the burial, the whole village will come to see them off, but the other half of the old couple should usually not participate.
This is not because of a lack of family affection, but because of the consideration of the mental and physical health of the elderly.
The elderly may not be able to bear the grief, or the cries of the children may affect the mood of the elderly and may even lead to physical discomfort.
Secondly, the deep reason behind it lies in the concept of "funeral must suffer".
This proverb expresses a taboo that if the other half of an elderly couple is too sad to attend the funeral, it may be unexpected.
On the way to the funeral, the sadness may trigger health problems for the elderly, especially those in poor physical condition, who may induce diseases such as high blood pressure and heart disease due to excessive grief, and even lead to serious consequences such as falls and paralysis.
In general, the core point of this proverb is to advise people to persuade their old fathers not to participate in the funeral ceremony when their old people die, so as not to cause harm to the old people.
For couples in their forties and fifties, if they can bear the grief, it is also possible to participate in the ceremony of sending off their spouses, but the funeral scene is usually unacceptable for ordinary people.
This traditional concept not only highlights the concern for the physical and mental health of the elderly, but also reflects the unique understanding of mourning rituals in funeral culture.
