On April 4, 2020, the author of "Pingru Meitang", Mr. Rao Pingru, died of illness at Shanghai Ruijin Hospital at the age of 99. Rao Ruping participated in the War of Resistance, worked as a beauty editor, and everyone who knew Mr. Rao Pingru was touched by the story of him and his wife Mao Meitang: When words could no longer express their thoughts, Rao Pingru spent four years to paint his and her ordinary and ordinary lives on paper with a paintbrush.
So there is this "Ping Ru Mei Tang: The Story of the Two of Us", this book in addition to some text, there are a lot of illustrations, in fact, to put it bluntly, it is a picture book, but it is such a picture book, but it can quickly reach the top of the French best-seller list, and can quickly be welcomed by the United States, Britain, Italy and other more than a dozen countries. Many readers have commented on this book by reading the greatest Chinese love in it.
Rao Pingru's life can be said to be ups and downs, he worked as a rich young master with a generous family, also passed the artillery science of the Whampoa Military Academy, became a heroic anti-Japanese fighter on the battlefield, also worked as an accountant and editor of a publishing house, and was later sent to labor reform education, separated from his wife for 22 years.
Although his life was bumpy and bumpy, with ups and downs, what he never changed was his love for his wife Mao Meitang. Before knowing Mao Meitang, Rao Pingru was a soldier, and in 1945, in the battle outside the Xuefeng Mountain in western Hunan Province, Rao Pingru, who was the platoon leader of the artillery company at the time, was lying on the top of the mountain, and a squad leader was hit by a bullet, and the screams were incessant for a while.
The cruelty of the war made the young Rao Pingru remember for a lifetime, and he even felt that if he really died on the battlefield, it would be considered a good death. But fortunately, heaven took care of rao, and Rao Pingru did not sacrifice in victory. At the age of 24, he took a leave of absence to return to his hometown in Jiangxi and was asked by his father to meet Mao Meitang, a rich lady.
At this point, the love story of the two people began, that year Rao Pingru was 24 years old, and Mao Meitang was 22 years old. The next time let's walk into the story of Pingru and Meitang together, and walk into this great love story.
In fact, everyone who attends a wedding or has been married knows that there must be an oath at the wedding site. The host or pastor will ask the bride and groom if you would rather the man next to you be your husband, whether poor or rich, sick or healthy, good times or bad times, you are willing to love him and accompany him until he is old. At this time, all we can usually hear is that I am willing.
In this wedding vow, we will find that in a married life, there are three challenges that will arise in our lives: poverty, health, and adversity. Many relationships in life will be broken by these three obstacles, and eventually the good vows will become a bubble, and the marriage will fail. But the love between Pingru and Meitang has truly achieved in the face of poverty, difficulties and diseases in their 70-year marriage.
Rao Pingru took advantage of his vacation time to be arranged by his father to meet the rich lady Mao Meitang, and when he first entered the Mao family, he just saw a young girl wearing a cheongsam by the window wearing makeup. This is Rao Pingru's first impression of Meitang, this scene is also deeply imprinted in his mind, and later in the book's painting collection, Rao Pingru also painted this scene.
The first time they met, the two people were a little shy, Rao Pingru could only greet the elders of the Mao family at the dinner table, while Mao Meitang chatted happily with several little sisters on the other side, and neither of them said a few words.
After the dinner, Rao Pingru's father gave one of his mother's rings to Mao Meitang's father, and Pingru's mother's ring was worn on Meitang's hand, and the two of them officially made a family affair.
Although the affair of the two people was decided by the parents of both sides, the two people did not object at that time, and naturally agreed in their hearts.
Later, Rao Pingru returned to the army after the end of his vacation, and when he was on the boat, he thought that he could only contact Meitang in the future, thinking of Meitang and her young brothers and sisters, his heart was suddenly full of emotions. In the past, he was always ready to be martyred, but now he also began to look forward to the future and began to think about the future of the two people.
This love, which began in turbulent times, was the best time in Rao Pingru's life. Therefore, after the end of the War of Resistance Against Japan, he was more and more tired of the battlefield, before he was fighting against foreign enemies, and dying during the anti-Japanese period was a good death, but if he died in the domestic battlefield, he was unwilling, after all, he couldn't figure out why Chinese wanted to fight Chinese.
So in 1948, Rao Pingru took a leave of absence to go home and married Mao Meitang, the wedding of the two people was very grand, Meitang wore a white wedding dress, Ping ru was a pale yellow military uniform, and more than two hundred relatives and friends came to the scene, which became a beautiful moment in his memory.
However, in the war-torn years, their married life also underwent many tests, after the end of the civil war, Pingru and Meitang were unwilling to follow others to Taiwan, so they turned to relatives in Guizhou.
In those years, Rao Pingru looked for jobs everywhere, but his job search experience was also very unsatisfactory, he submitted a resume to the engineering team, interviewed the grain bureau for a position, but in the end there was no result.
Later, with the help of their father-in-law, the couple began to run a noodle restaurant, but the noodle business was not satisfactory, no one wanted to eat the noodles he made, and later Pingru followed his friends to sell dried peppers in the vegetable market, and the business was just as bad.
After repeatedly tossing and turning several times, he did not make any money, but instead kept losing money, and even his wife Meitang felt that he was not the material for business. Another year passed, Pingru through the introduction of his uncle, only to Shanghai Dade Hospital to do accounting, but also found a part-time job as an editor of the publishing house, that year Rao Pingru could earn one or two hundred yuan a month.
The high income alleviated their predicament, and the sweet and beautiful days lasted only 7 years. Because in 1958, he was sent to Anhui as a counter-revolutionary for labor reform, and this walk was 22 years.
All of us will believe that the power of love is invincible, but the truth of life is that poor couples are sad, whether you really love thrillingly, love vigorously, if life can not be basically guaranteed, no money, no place to live, those big and small things, will definitely pour out the flame of love.
But the love between Pingru and Meitang is very special, although their life is not rich, it can even be said to be poor, but there has always been a yearning for life, so that they live a very stable, very hot, very warm. Sometimes we feel that this sudden poverty is the touchstone of love, because to have a sincere love, it is a kind of wealth in itself.
So, the most terrible thing in marriage is not poverty, because from the story of both of them, we can see that love can overcome poverty. Pingru and Meitang gave us the first revelation about love is that poverty is not an obstacle to love, but a common tempering of two people, the two of them support each other in a poor life, love each other, and every detail is permeated with warmth.
This is true love, and the person who can live with you for a lifetime is the one who can understand you, have you, accompany you, and tolerate you.
Two people have spent a few days of poverty together, the good days have not passed, and the married life has ushered in a second test, just imagine, if we really have not seen each other with our husbands for 22 years, what would it be like? I believe that it is difficult for us to imagine that kind of life ourselves. But Pingru and Meitang were separated for 22 years, and the two could only rely on letters to communicate.
After losing the top pillar of the family, Meitang, who was originally from a rich family, also had to worry about making money, and the former big miss could only do a lot of hard work for the children of the family. A big lady who once loved beauty and was delicate, in the face of great changes in life, she also showed unprecedented firmness and bravery.
Even the people in the personnel department talked to Mei Tang and persuaded her to draw a line with Pingru, in fact, in that era, how many people quickly drew a line with their families in order to protect themselves, and even took the initiative to expose it.
But for 22 years, no matter how others persuaded, Meitang has always been a word, and I know what kind of person this person is. Years later, When Pingru asked her why she was so insistent, Meitang said, "You're going to have an affair, I've divorced you." But you are not a traitor, not a corrupt person, not a thief, you are nothing, why should I divorce you? ”
Meitang stayed in Shanghai waiting for Pingru to return, but how easy is it for a woman to raise five children alone? When life was difficult, Meitang had to sell her dowry one by one, and the night before she sold only one gold bracelet to the end, she put the bracelet on her daughter's wrist and let her sleep with her for one night, wait until dawn, take it off and sell it. In this way, my daughter has worn a bracelet.
But even so, the money is still not enough, in order to let the children eat, the thin Meitang went to the weaving factory as a female worker, went to the construction site of the Shanghai Museum of Natural History to move cement, a bag of cement at least fifty or sixty pounds, but also because of these labors let Meitang's body fall ill.
But the more difficult the life of two people, the more tenacious the feelings, the two people in the face of the adversity of fate, never wanted to give up on each other, the two of them hand in hand, or support each other's home.
Pingru in the labor reform, not much money earned, even so, he is still thrifty, the most difficult time to divide the 6 cent meal ticket into three days, try to send the money to the family, Meitang is to let Pingru take good care of himself, do not have to send money home.
At the New Year, Ping Ru can go home once, and whenever this time comes, he will borrow money in advance, go early to buy some New Year goods, and then get up at less than six o'clock, carrying the burden to many places, and finally arrive at his home in Shanghai. Every time I arrived home, it was already evening, the children were happy, and the family had a reunion dinner in a harmonious light.
But the New Year was only a short meeting, and the most common contact information they used was to write letters, writing for a full 22 years, more than a thousand letters, all of which pinned on each other's love and affection.
This is the second touching place of Pingru and Meitang, whether they are in good times or bad times, even if the two people have not been together for 22 years, they still support their home.
In the emotional story of two people, two people have a long-distance relationship for up to 22 years, here are two points worth learning, the first point is even if it is a long-distance relationship, but also to maintain proper contact, two people are separated in the days, basically are letters, in that era of material shortage, letters have become their emotional bridge, this also tells us that even if two people are not in the same city, they also need to maintain interaction.
Second, learn to be considerate of each other and see each other regularly. For example, in the 22 years that Pingru was separated from Meitang, he would go home once a year for the Spring Festival, and each time he went back for half a month, he always tried everything to ask for leave.
This point gives us a great enlightenment, many people when they get married or fall in love, they think that girls are very troublesome, they can't move their stomachs, and then men come to drink more hot water. But are girls really short of that cup of hot water? In fact, what she needs is not real companionship.
In the love of Meitang and Pingru, we will find that long-distance love is not an obstacle, but will hone the feelings of two people, as long as your hearts are firm with each other, then what is the relationship between distance? It can also exercise the hearts of two people and make each other stronger.
In 1980, Rao Pingru's punishment was finally revoked, and he thought that the two people would be able to walk together from now on, and their future only had to die and no longer be born and leave. However, they survived the most difficult years, thinking that they could live a peaceful and good life in their old age, how could they expect that fate would urge people, and both of them were old and sick.
Meitang fell ill, she fell into kidney disease when she carried cement in her early years, and then she had diabetes, and she had to do peritoneal dialysis every day, Pingru bought her treatment equipment, and did dialysis at home every day, and it took four years to do it.
But later, Mei Tang's illness worsened, and her speech became more and more unclear, and she often asked Pingru to do some strange things, but he did them one by one. The children advised him not to listen, but he said, "But I can't get used to it, and I can't rely on her for what she tells me to do." ”
One night, Mei Tang said that she wanted to eat the horseshoe cake of the Apricot Blossom Building, and he rode to buy it, and Rao Pingru was 87 years old at that time. Another time, Mei Tang suddenly wanted a red flower cheongsam on a black background, and he discussed with the children whether to make one for her, but before she could do it, she didn't remember anything.
Everyone in the family thinks that she is senile dementia, but Rao Pingru thinks that it is because people are old, and he believes that his Meitang will get better. But one day, the granddaughter went to work, but Meitang said that she was hidden by him, and at that moment, Pingru completely collapsed.
He sat on the ground and cried, and at that moment he had to believe that Meitang was really confused and unlikely to recover from now on. Meitang will be very irritable when she is seriously ill, and she will often pull out the tube on her body, which is a very dangerous situation. Rao Pingru had to take the gauze to tie her hands up, and at this time she could only helplessly shout not to tie me, not to tie me.
Meitang also happened to be awake, and once she woke up, she said to her daughter, you have to take good care of your father. Another time, she told Pingru that you should stop eating and ride a bicycle.
Even at the last moment of her life, what Meitang was most worried about and most relieved about was her lover, her pingru. Later, on March 19, 2008, Meitang took one last look at Pingru, leaving a tear in her eyes, and left him, leaving only his deep thoughts about her.
After Meitang left, Pingru was depressed for a while, took antidepressant drugs for half a year, and then began to miss Meitang alone.
He cut off a strand of her hair, tied it with red thread, and carried it close to her. He put her ashes at the head of the bed, waiting for himself a hundred years later, to be buried together, and even he put Meitang's picture in the most conspicuous position, wiping it every day. If he was thinking of Meitang, he would go to the Shanghai Natural History Museum and sit down, touch the steps, which contained Meitang's labor.
He would also take meitang's picture to the place where the two people took wedding photos and put them in the pocket of their clothes, as if the two people had gone together. Later, he went to the backyard of his former home, where there was a grapefruit tree, and when he was young, Meitang often took pictures and played next to the tree.
After that, Rao Pingru recalled the bits and pieces of the two people, and began to paint, using paper and pencil to recreate the 60 years of time between the two people from acquaintance, love, mutual observance and then to the death of Meitang, and finally integrated the book "Pingru Meitang: The Story of the Two of Us".
On the last page of the book there is a sentence that I like very much: "The sea is not deep, and the memory of a person is deeper than the sea." ”
Every stroke and every painting in the book, every word is Pingru's deep thoughts about Meitang, and he records the story of the lives of the two people with a paintbrush, as if when every stroke falls, the person is in front of him.
In addition to this book "Ping Ru MeiTang: The Story of the Two of Us", he also gave contemporary young people a painting "Gift to Young Friends", telling young people what love and marriage are: "Life is short, youth is difficult to regain." Don't live up to the original intention, respect and love each other. Be inclusive in everything and expect everything. Believe in everything, endure in all things. White head to old age, happy and happy. The earth is long, and the truth is always there. ”
Before his death, PingRu once said: "With life and death, common suffering, with foam, if there is love in the sky, the sky is old; three years apart from the underworld, the sound of the voice is asked, the intestines are broken, and the sea is not deep." ”
In the life of two people accompanying each other through their old age, the enlightenment given to us is that from love to affection, from romance to each other, the longer the time, the more reluctant to leave your person, can be called a lover.
At the twilight of his life, Ping Ru could still recall so many details of his life with Meitang, and he could see how deep this love was. We may not be sure if a person really loves himself, but you can see how much thought he is willing to give you, whether he is constantly thinking about you, you can understand whether it is really love.
When it comes to love, we always feel that it is nothing, it is unattainable, but in fact, when two people face poverty, adversity and illness, they can see true love the most, because these three difficulties, each of which is as heavy as a mountain, but Pingru and Meitang can still walk through every difficult situation hand in hand.
Love is the most unreasonable thing in the world, it will not be particularly kind to you because you are rich and good-looking; it is not an arithmetic problem, it has a certain way of calculating. It requires two people to support each other, to be in agreement, to work hard for each other, to maintain it.
Finally, may each of us still have the courage to believe in love, and hope that we all have the ability to love ourselves first and then love others.
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