Due to work adjustments, working day time, temporarily unable to send articles, adjusted to publish study notes. (The content of the notes comes from: books, official accounts, Zhihu, Weibo, paid communities, does not represent personal views)
1. The purpose of education is to promote growth
The purpose of education is to promote growth, but the current school education, or can not have too many shortcomings, otherwise you can not pass the most basic pass.
At the same time, cultivating children's dominant subjects will be helpful to children's overall academics, because the skills learned will be transferred, which will establish a sense of achievement, and how to guide the rest.
2, try not to argue with people
Try not to argue with people, everyone has his cognitive level, he will only think on this basis, into the information cocoon of the self.
Even if someone tells you that ice cream is hot, you can say: you're absolutely right.
To use an old Chinese saying: the well frog cannot speak of the sky, and the summer worm cannot speak of ice.
3. The most important factor in the process of brain development
If a child grows up in an environment free of chronic stress, he can handle life's ups and downs and setbacks in a more constructive and positive way.
The most important factor in brain development is the relationship between the baby and the parents, including the language environment.
Is a short phrase like "Daddy loves his heart and liver baby" really important for a child who is just beginning to concentrate? Yes, really, very important.
In each small step of the child's learning language, words such as "woo-hoo", "ya-ya-ah", "mommy loves you" and "so delicious pie" connect billions of neurons in the brain, producing complex neuronal circuits that bring the child's intellectual potential to a climax.
When this situation is at its best, with whispers, giggles, and an ideally gentle and calm family atmosphere, the brain will develop to perfection.
However, these optimal conditions are missing, the child's early language environment will be very bad, and brain development will suffer very adversely.
Under the premise that parents take good care of their babies, the number of words is also very important.
Although there are many words, their positive effect on the brain relies on responsiveness and moderation.
4, suppression will make people disgusted and far away
I have found that many people raise children, pets, and treat subordinates such as employees in a repressive way.
That is to say, to give others a pressure, to make others uncomfortable to be comfortable himself, and then in daily life, he and his subordinates continue to run into each other to determine the strength of this oppression of others.
That is, he always let others develop a dislike for him.
Then he continued to push, turning this disgust of others into a kind of submission.
In fact, when others find a better way out, they will decisively leave him.
It's actually easy to get along with anyone.
You just need to pay attention to the fact that both parties can win together at all times, maintain a relationship that makes both parties easy and comfortable, and you don't have to worry about losing each other.
5. The most common psychological defense mechanism
No one wants to admit, or even admit to themselves, that we are selfish or lazy, let alone admit our own failures or flaws.
Our "self" is equipped with a very useful set of "shields" and "buffers", a set of defense mechanisms that are used to block harsh reality.
Of course, these defense mechanisms do not actually protect us, but rather bring us more instability and insecurity.
There is often a gap between truth and our ability to accept it.
The wider this divide, the more vulnerable our psychology becomes.
Our "selves" paint the real world with all kinds of colors, while leaving ourselves clean and spotless.
However, before we smear reality, in the depths of our untouchable subconscious, truth and illusion clash, which creates the psychological phenomenon of cognitive dissonance: an uncomfortable sense of tension and stress that arises from holding two contradictory views at the same time.
It is a by-product of tension in the relationship between the mind and the self.
Such byproducts arise when we choose to accept reality or to alleviate the discord between the mind and the ego by activating some defense mechanism.
The most common mechanisms of psychological defense are avoidance, denial, and justification.
Denying reality comes at a cost.
Exhausted and nervous, the "self" is wilfully cutting our world, trying to eliminate anything that would hurt or expose us.
We pay too much attention to things that are potentially threatening to our self-image and are always on high alert.
We hide behind elaborate external images. An external identity is carefully created to protect ourselves, and this fictional external identity soon becomes a shell that tightly wraps us around.
Over time, we fall into a hellish chasm created by the unrealized potential of an individual, our true selves gradually weaken, and we feel empty inside and no longer live for ourselves.
We exist only to protect our external image— the "self."
We play all kinds of tricks, put on a tight mask, and show the world our disguise, because we think that this disguise is indispensable.
In the process, we lose ourselves. In order to meet the demands of others and win the praise of others, we distort our own nature.