Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
Young people think about success, full of expectations for life every day, middle-aged people think about how to alleviate their troubles, just want to sleep well.
According to relevant statistics, the number of people in the middle-aged stage of the mainland roughly begins with the post-80s and ends with the post-70s, and the number of post-70s and post-80s has a total of 443 million.
In middle age, people become the most disdainful look of youth, like a coward, afraid of unemployment, afraid of being a pillar and unable to support their families, afraid of divorce, afraid of getting sick, afraid of a serious illness destroying a family, afraid of educational mistakes that make children wrong for life.
Middle-aged people have long experienced the cold and warm in the world, seen life and death, life ambitions have long been left behind, only care about chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, walking step by step, such as walking on thin ice, just to live an ordinary life of food and clothing.
Erickson's eight-stage theory holds that a person's life goes through the psychological evolution of eight social roles, which become psycho-social development. It consists of four stages of childhood, one stage of adolescence and three stages of adulthood.
Each stage of life has a corresponding task to be completed, and each stage requires the accumulation of the previous stage. They are the infancy, childhood, early school age and school age of childhood.
Adolescence in adolescence, early adulthood, adulthood, maturation. Each stage has to go through a lot of hardships, adulthood is the most tired stage, people in early adulthood need to deal with intimate conflict with loneliness, that is, to sort out interpersonal relationships, find their own positioning, to adulthood need to reduce self-focus and need to care for the needs of future generations and elders, but also to deal with the work pressure, the so-called old and young is this meaning.
This stage requires them to balance life and work, themselves and family, facing the most embarrassing, the most challenging stage of life, a netizen's submission said the voice of 400 million middle-aged people, netizens' personal experience also poked the weakness of 400 million people, people to middle age, the most feared thing is the parents' early morning phone call.
@ Netizen third brother, the father is 83 years old, suffering from severe cerebral infarction, high blood pressure and diabetes, just a few months have been hospitalized. Went to the hospital to check a circle and prescribed some medicine, and stayed for a while and adjusted the hospital.
My third brother and I ran back from the field, stayed in the hospital in the middle of the night, at night, once my father had any situation, we immediately woke up alertly, fortunately, there was no new discovery, my father infused a few days of liquid and went home, and then my father's mental state was obviously good, eating was OK, and he could also go up and down the stairs.
My third brother and I bought a ticket to go back, and as a result, there was an unexpected situation a few days later, and when I received a call from my mother in the middle of the night, I was scared to get up on my legs, and I learned by phone that my father needed help to go up and down the stairs this time, and it was boring to walk a few hundred meters.
The physical changes of the elderly are really difficult to speculate, now I and my third brother are difficult to fall asleep in the middle of the night, really afraid of the bad news that they are unwilling to accept after waking up one day, before turning on mute to sleep steadily, now the mobile phone does not dare to turn off the mute, afraid of a careless mistake on the father for life, in the middle of the night to hear the ringtone are afraid, the recent sleep quality is really getting lower and lower.
People in middle age are most afraid of receiving calls in the early morning, the first fear is that they have no ability to take risks, calling in the middle of the night means that it is a bad thing, who will notify a good thing in the middle of the night?
Middle-aged people who are accustomed to life and death should begin to accept the life and death parting around them, and accept the sudden accident - the early morning phone call.
The early morning is the weakest time of human body function, but also the worst time of human resistance, this is an objective law, the elderly are the most likely to fall ill at this stage, many elderly people are in the early morning after being sent to the hospital suddenly died, people say that there is no gone, leaving only the young people in the dark to die.
Second, afraid of insomnia, people really only want to sleep well in middle age, due to physiological factors The quality of sleep has long been worse than before, many middle-aged people are difficult to fall asleep again after insomnia in the early morning, especially in the early morning to receive the news of the death of relatives.
In the future, whenever this point is full of thoughts and pains, it is more difficult to fall asleep, but whenever you hear the phone call in your sleep, the rapid heartbeat jumping to the limit has become a conditioned reflex.
A psychological phobia in middle-aged people
Middle-aged people have a unique phobia that other age groups don't have, especially middle-aged men, which is what psychologists call "midlife crisis."
Middle-aged men pay special attention to the achievements of decades of hard work, if they just encounter difficulties, bottleneck periods, no outstanding achievements, coupled with the old and the young, heavy pressure is enough to overwhelm a middle-aged man, and even produce pessimistic and negative emotions.
Many men have "Excellence OCD", Excellence OCD is a kind of obsessive-compulsive psychology, it is similar to perfectionism, 100% for their own hope that they can be "perfect", for example, what must be achieved before the age of 45, otherwise define their lives as failures, Excellence OCD will be reflected in almost every man, women also have .
It's just that different people look at things with different optimism, some people don't stop when they don't reach the goal, some people still love life when they see the truth of life, and some people stop losses in time and just want to get a good night's sleep.
Psychological phobia anxiety disorder in middle-aged people is mainly divided into mental anxiety and somatic anxiety, the latter is directly affected by the former, psychological fear is mainly too worried about the future possible, unpredictable dangerous, unfortunate events.
Mainly manifested as free-floating fear, more seriously manifested as anticipatory fear, fear of any bad things that may happen, this phenomenon of excessive sensitivity to external stimuli and excessive alertness, which can easily lead to the appearance of: jumping reaction, difficulty concentrating, difficult to fall asleep, easy to wake up in sleep, easy to provoke
The collapse of middle-aged people really began with a phone call in the middle of the night, and I know that there is a question: "At what moment did you experience the vulnerability of adults?" There is a high praise answer: I am most afraid of suddenly receiving a call from my family late at night.
When people reach middle age, they are also not confused, although they have been coming to Japan for a long time, but they are also impermanent. No matter how hard life is, every middle-aged person will do his best to give the elderly a happy and healthy old age. I also sincerely pray that all the elderly people can live a long life and a hundred years
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205