How many harsh words did you say to your child in this picture?
This is what Yang Mi was asked when he participated in a variety show, the 5 sentences with the greatest lethality to children:
When did I ever promise you
What's the use of me raising you
If you do this again, your parents won't want you
I told you long ago, and you didn't listen
We're all here for your own good
After seeing these 5 questions, Yang Mi considered them for a long time and said, "I should never say such things to my children in my life, and my children also need the recognition and encouragement of their parents." ”
There are always people who say that Yang Mi is not qualified as a mother, but with this sentence, she is really a great mother.
Raisers understand how hard it is to control their emotions, even if the mother is an angel, the angel has a tired time.
When children don't eat well, when they don't write their homework seriously, when they are dead with you, it's really difficult to control.
Some harsh words will involuntarily blurt out.
Speak harsh words for a moment to relieve anger,
But the lethality of these words to children,
Bigger than we thought.
Xiao Tao Hong once shared the experience of yelling at her daughter, and now she feels regret when she thinks about it.
Once when my daughter accidentally dropped the milk, she was particularly annoyed and subconsciously yelled, "How can you do this!" ”
The daughter who usually loves to cry looked at her mother's vicious face, her expression was trembling, she was stunned, and she even forgot to cry.
Her daughter's reaction made Xiao Tao Hong particularly guilty, and she realized that her behavior not only hurt her daughter, but also may have had a bad impact on her personality.
Yelling children is not terrible,
The terrible thing is that you yelled at him,
He didn't speak.
I don't know if you have found such a phenomenon:
When the child is young, others scold him, he will find his mother.
But the more his mother scolded him, the more he asked his mother to hug him, and no one could leave.
Because in the child's heart, the mother is the "fortress" and the safest corner in the heart.
When he is out of control, he must hold his mother to find a sense of security, even if the person who makes him lose control is his mother.
So the daughter's abnormal reaction made Xiao Tao Hong realize that the sense of security she gave her daughter disappeared.
She was scared.
So when her daughter accidentally broke the cup again and bowed her head and did not dare to move, she quickly squatted down and hugged her daughter, touched her head and said, "It's okay, don't be afraid." ”
The daughter hugged her and cried.
Fortunately, the rescue was successful, and she became a "fortress" for her daughter's safety.
Remember a story in "Daddy in your Pocket" that says:
Dad was a strong man who was one meter tall and eighty meters tall, five and three thick, but he was scolded by his mother every day, and every time his mother scolded him, his body shrank a little, and finally he shrank to the size of his thumb, hiding in his son's pocket every day.
Children are like this, they will be afraid, they will have low self-esteem, they will lose confidence, they will lose their sense of security...
It can be seen that it is not good to talk,
Not only is it not good to talk,
It's more of a linguistic violence,
It hurts mentally.
Yelling children is not right for everyone to know, but raising children chicken flying dog jump, how to control it?
This question, in a recent video, I found the answer.
It was a three-year-old child, accompanying his mother to the mall, the child always wanted his mother to hold, the mother felt that the child was too squeamish, insisted that "you have to go by yourself, you can't hold." ”
The child began by spoiling, then crying and begging, and finally rolling on the ground.
The mother was anxious and squatted down to catch the child, but at the moment of squatting, she saw a different world:
That world is all ass, black pressed ass.
The feeling was particularly oppressive, as if it could be overwhelmed and trampled to death at any moment.
No wonder the child has to be hugged all the time, he is not willful, just afraid to ask his mother for help.
So sometimes,
We are angry that children cry,
Maybe it's not their fault,
It was the world that we didn't crouch down to see him.
A blogger once popularized three things that parents must know on Weibo, and this Weibo was spread by the whole network at that time.
Children crying on the plane's high-speed train because of air pressure and noise. They feel the pressure and frequency that we don't feel, so they are uncomfortable, not willful.
Kids don't like to take a bath because it's really hot. The sensory system of children's skin is much more sensitive than that of adults, and the water temperature that adults feel comfortable with is no less than "slow cooking" for children.
Children are picky because their sense of taste is not well developed. In their mouths, green peppers are bitter, tofu is smelly, and pineapples taste like pinpricks, which is not delicious at all.
In short, the "bad habits" in the eyes of these parents are not the fault of the children.
Under this Weibo, many netizens expressed empathy and posted their experiences as children to protest.
I feel the same way.
Eating in small bags for a while is particularly worrying.
The meal must be left cold to feel not hot.
Fish is fishy, shrimp is smelly, meat is hard, smell seafood and pinch your nose, frown when you see ribs...
Nothing can be done.
Once Grandpa forced him to swallow the meat, and he threw up...
Later, when I went to check, I found that the child's non-eating meat is a problem of the spleen and stomach, and not eating seafood is a problem of taste development.
What bad thoughts can a child have?
They are picky eaters, possibly physiologically.
They rub, probably not as finely as adults.
They love to lie, it may be that the parents' "fault tolerance rate" is too low, and they overreact to mistakes.
They are jealous and may be often compared to other children.
They are introverted, and it may be that their self-confidence is not strong enough.
......
So, some of the problems are not in the children, but in the fact that the parents are not squatting down.
Not all children think that seafood is fragrant,
Not all children are numb,
Not all children love to talk,
It's just that we like the side comparison too much,
Forget that the child is just himself.
Raising a child is not easy.
Raising a child is even more difficult.
Children are not scolded, and children who are accustomed to looking up will not be a confident child.
The so-called best education,
It was we who squatted down and went into his world,
Take him with you again and into our world.
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