Women in this era never stick to the roles given by society, but let us see their ease and ease with the surprise of each appearance.
Yu Xiuhua, a female writer who is desperate for love, is the star in Tian Pujun's eyes. Yu Xiuhua, 46 years old, fell in love with the post-90s beekeeper, love is supreme, and there is no remorse.
"Like Yu Xiuhua, I think it's good to be brave enough to talk about a sister-brother relationship." Tian Pujun admired her courage, "Tadao Ando once said a sentence ' Life should always be like a green apple, always have the ideal of wanting to do something.' The pursuit of this goal, no matter how old you are, will not give up, even if you are 100 years old, you must have a 100-year-old youth'. ”
Tian Pujun
Producer / Actor / Founder /
Amateur interior design enthusiast / Independent Director of Beijing Contemporary Art Foundation
Independence is a word we read in Tian Pujun. In her life of more than 30 years, she has written a legend of women's counterattack, which well explains that "independence is an attitude, not an identity".
Following "Habits Are Good" and "Those Things That Money Can't Solve", Tian Pujun recently brought a new book "Be Cruel to Yourself", in this book, she recorded in detail her physical practices on emotional internal management, time control, high-value socialization, manners, exquisite skin care, healthy diet and other aspects, each part is her "fierce" bit and piece and quite effective practice method.
New book "Be Tough on Yourself"
There are only 25,000 days in a person's life, and there are only 5,000 days that can really be mastered, so how can we make good use of these 5,000 days? In today's complex interpersonal relationships, how can you find a truly high-value social network? No one can easily get beauty without effort, how to get a comfortable appearance from skin care and clothing? How to do "eat less is better than eat smartly?" Tian Pujun made a real answer to the above questions one by one in the new book.
"People manage themselves from different dimensions, and this book can give you some guidance from various details of life." Tian Pujun regards this book as a "self-growth cheats", from the perspective of women to look at the environment in which women are, empathize with the feelings of others; she hopes that every reader who reads this book can use this as a wake-up call and give themselves more encouragement.
1
Fierce, start with self-discipline
Her first book, "Habits Are Good", which is based on the experience of studying in New York, was launched in 2014, and in the eight years since then, Tian Pujun has experienced growth and reshaped a new outlook on life. "If New York is my beginning, let me open my eyes to see and understand the world, then the second book, "Those Things That Money Can't Solve," is written for newcomers to the workplace and society, telling them how to integrate with people in different circles of society." 」 Tian Pujun shared.
When we mentioned the slightest feeling of creating a new book "Be Cruel to Yourself", her face showed a satisfied smile, "This book is more like a kind of feedback to herself, it is the book that requires the most of these three works, whether it is the process of writing the book, or the specially customized content in the book, let me deeply feel the joy of creation." ”
Over the years, Tian Pujun has lived in other countries and met successful people in various fields, in her opinion, "they all have one thing in common, that is, they are extremely disciplined in a certain aspect and cruel enough to themselves", so she hopes to share her growth experience in recent years with everyone.
What kind of "fierceness" is "fierce" in her eyes? Regarding the "fierce scale", Tian Pujun has his own speculation. In her view, the so-called "fierceness" is based on the premise of self-discipline and constantly sets high-demand goals for herself. ”
Tian Pujun revealed that his understanding of "self-discipline" is completely derived from the "first, second, and third class theory" taught by her grandmother from childhood, that is, "the first class will not teach, the second class will teach with the mouth, and the third class will teach with the stick." In order not to be beaten by sticks, she took care of everything and tried to be the "one who doesn't teach.".
"Self-discipline in everything may be boring, it may be painful, it may be boring, but we are better because of it, so you choose to insist." 」 The things that drive you to do things that you don't want to do as much, but are worth doing, are the real 'self-discipline'. Tian Pujun explained.
Whether it is inner cultivation or the maintenance of a healthy appearance, strict self-discipline is required. Self-discipline is not a necessary condition for a person to succeed, but it must be an important factor in success.
In the new book, there is a photo of Tian Pujun practicing the "one-word horse" training process, which is recorded from May 2018 to March 2020, and in about two years, she challenged and realized the difficult movement of adult divination. "I didn't practice a boy's skill in dance, and when I decided to take the challenge of the fork and put it into action, I found that it was more difficult than I could imagine." The process described by Tian Pujun is enough to make us feel the difficulty of being the last centimeter from the ground. She is a person who does not accept defeat by nature, and when the goal is determined, she tries her best.
Outside of work, Tian Pujun often spends her time and energy on learning languages. Although learning a language is not an easy task, she does not stop there. Although there is no context of living in Japan, in order to make herself able to advance the process of learning the language faster, Tian Pujun recently enrolled herself in a Japanese class, in order to catch up with the Japanese college entrance examination in July, she shortened the 8 months that others need to study to 3 months, "give yourself a little pressure, always maintain a self-improvement heart." Life will not be indebted to people who live seriously, and your accumulation today is beyond the reach of others in the future. ”
2
Find "Micro Coordinates"
Some time ago, Tian Pujun opened a video interview program "Speak Together", one of which was an episode in which she invited her husband Wang Shi to the show, and the two had a face-to-face in-depth conversation.
Tian Pujun's talk show "SpeakIng Together"
As a host, she threw out the hot topic of "what is an independent woman", as a successful entrepreneur, Wang Shi believes that independent women should have the ability to think independently and have independent personality, but there is a premise that there must be independent economic ability that does not depend on others, which is crucial for building an independent personality as a prerequisite. Subsequently, Tian Pujun turned sharply and asked, "Do you think I am an independent woman?" Wang Shi's answer was categorical: "Of course it is!" ”
In Tian Pujun's eyes, Wang Shi is a family member and a life mentor, "He is a sparkling person with a big pattern, and what he has is a pattern view of 'putting others first', which has a great influence on me." She never denied that her "independence" was independence from Wang Shi, because she once said: "People are born with social attributes and family attributes, and no one is absolutely independent." And there is no need to say the gratitude between husband and wife in public, he knows it in his heart. ”
Before the age of 30, Tian Pujun's life has been wonderful, as an actor, as a producer, columnist, speaker, design enthusiast... She enjoys the pleasure of navigating between different identities.
An ordinary girl, all the way from Shanghai to Beijing through various toss, but she does not feel bitter, but thinks that she is a "lucky person". For so many years, Tian Pujun has always remembered the words that her grandmother said to her: "When you are young, it is not bitter to suffer, and when you are old, it is really bitter." She regarded the sufferings she experienced on the road of growing up as a "blessing" for the future.
Previously, when Tian Pujun was invited to be a guest star interview program "Big Stars Say Small Things", she encouraged women to find "micro coordinates" in society, find self-worth, and strive to achieve it, "No matter what stage of women you are in, whether you are in a peak period in life, or a bottleneck period, please do not give up the pursuit of yourself; no matter how big it is or how small it is, I think the most important thing is that I hope that in this society, I can have even a tiny coordinate of myself, and it is also the value of my existence." When it slowly accumulates to a certain extent, it will definitely give you a good return. ”
The big female protagonist script has become a popular genre of popular TV dramas in recent years, and the big female protagonist drama has a particularly large feature, that is, to create a sense of coolness. The so-called "cool feeling" is that everyone is more and more inclined to directly and quickly get the pleasure of solving the problem, and enjoy the enjoyable and pleasant viewing experience in the process of continuous clearance and invincibility.
But this kind of on-screen drama, in reality, is often not so frank. Even if today's Tian Pujun's life script has locked in the "big heroine" without a doubt, she has also experienced ups and downs along the way. As she says, "Happiness is never free, it needs to be gained through experience." ”
At the age of 21, Tian Pujun stepped into the entertainment circle, in the Hong Kong entertainment industry, she had followed Wang Jing to make movies, cooperated with Liang Chaowei, Zhang Jiahui, Chen Xiaochun, and also got some good roles. But Tian Pujun does not want to be chosen and controlled, she firmly believes that she is the helmsman of fate.
So, two years later, she left the show business and plunged into the real estate industry, which was 5 years. Initially, the real estate circle was a completely unfamiliar territory to her, so she had to work ten or even a hundred times harder than others. In order to hand over a contract to the customer, she stood for more than two hours in the heat of forty degrees outdoors, with a rash on her face; she was allergic to alcohol, and in order not to be happy at the wine table, she replaced the wine with a large cup of vinegar and politely returned to her business partners... In the not short time, she realized a profound truth: responsible for work is also responsible for herself.
Today, when she recalls her experience as an actress, she is still full of some longing. "Being an actor is actually a very happy thing, you can express your emotions, your state, your expressions through your body. If there is a chance in the future, I will not reject participating in some urban fashion dramas based on women in the workplace, and I am full of confidence in this regard. ”
From now on, if you want to find changes from yourself, Tian Pujun thought about it and replied: "Words have become less, because there are some words to say, or not to say." ”
Tian Pujun's body has always been full of "controversy", and sometimes it is inevitable that there will be some reports or statements about her on social platforms that do not conform to the facts. In this regard, Tian Pujun never paid attention to it, and in the face of untrue remarks, she simply chose to "not explain", because any explanation is pale and powerless. “whatever？ You can post any opinion of your own, you like me, thank you. What if you don't like me and me? Perhaps she grew up in a "Chinese-style family", in the long-term "pressure" education model of her parents, she has cultivated a strong heart, she will not fall into self-denial because of the "scolding" of others, "I am a 'the more you scold, the stronger I am' person, this may be a natural stubbornness." ”
In everyone's heart, there is their own understanding of the "new era women", and the one in Tian Pujun's heart must be the source of happiness, has requirements for self, and can clearly understand "what is gained and when to give up".
Twenty is not confused, thirty is only, at different ages, we have different pursuits, but also have different attitudes to life. Unlike some girls, Tian Pujun is not afraid of age, compared to her own lack of growth, "the sense of gain brought by growing up every day is far greater than my anxiety and fear of age." In this growth cycle, whether it is the workplace or emotions, she slowly transforms the requirements of others into changing herself and becoming a booster for self-growth.
As she writes in the preface to her new book: "There is a category of views that women start to enter the discount stage when they are 30 years old, and even after the age of 28; at the age of 50, they are eager to sell at a three-fold discount, or even a one-fold sale, which I think is one-sided." As a woman in my 30s, I dare to pat my chest and say that I am happier than I was when I was 18 years old, because I understand the world more and have a lot of confidence. ”
Life, like opening a blind box, you never know what kind of "surprise" you will encounter next. But the unknown script may be more fascinating. ■
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