Wen | Wei Ronghuan
Edited | Mao Yijun
"It can teach me how to love life"
Meng Xin, 20 years old, is a junior
The 5 roommates all know that I went to make a will, think that my idea is "so cool", the will has legal effect, not to write it myself, thinking that I am seriously thinking about life.
This is because at the end of February this year, when I was volunteering for the Winter Olympics, I met a volunteer in the China Probate Bank, and I asked him why he made a will or something, and I got to know it and felt that "I need it."
I originally felt that everything I had belonged to my parents, just a continuation of life, and I could not find my position in society. The class that cannot be crossed, the academic performance that cannot be achieved no matter how hard I work, and the lack of communication skills make me feel that I am not good enough. Later, I found that I may have some unique social values, such as the code patents I wrote, the social activities I have participated in, etc., and there is a need to pass them on.
All my clothes, including those who volunteer for the Winter Olympics, and all my belongings, I hope my friends can sell them, and when they are sold, the money and the clothes that can't be sold are hoped to be donated. Like my electronic devices, jewelry, cosmetics, and some potted plants, I left to my roommates and will feel like I'm still alive.
● Meng Xin's Winter Olympic volunteer clothes. Courtesy of the narrator
● Meng Xin's potted plants. Courtesy of the narrator
Electronic devices are important because I studied intelligent science and technology, and some of the valuable things I produce are actually in computers, including a code patent that I intend to apply for this year, and I left it to a friend.
This is the social contribution I have always wanted to achieve. Last year, I planned a volunteer project to go to the community to teach the elderly to use mobile phones. Our team of 6 people taught more than 40 elderly people. We not only used PPT, but also made a 72-page brochure and wrote how to use WeChat, such as payment, building group chats, group solitaire and solitaire, mainly in life.
Some of my accounts, like Station B, Zhihu, weChat, left them to my parents. There are a lot of traces of my life on it. I actually send very little stuff, and I know that sending out a lot of it doesn't resonate, so those platforms are more about recording who I talk to every day, what pictures I share, and what pet videos and food videos I browse. I mainly want to show my parents these records and know how your daughter lives, how to think, how to see the world.
After death, I did think about it for a long time. The beginning of the recognition of death is the death of the grandfather, before the middle school entrance examination. That made me feel as if life was like that, and death wasn't mysterious. From the beginning of high school, I would think about death. At that time, I was very lonely, I had almost no friends, and when my classmates talked about me, I felt like I was talking about a stranger.
I couldn't talk to them. They're going to think about how to make friends, how to build some intimate relationships, and I'm wondering if the world really exists, or does it exist as an original computer? What is the end of the universe? These caused my behavior to seem out of place and to feel that life was meaningless.
I realized these reasons, and later began to learn how others get along with friends, and I would often bring snacks to school to distribute to everyone, and slowly made friends. I look for meaning in every food, in all the flowers in the park—things that were previously thought to be meaningless. Then I found that the most important thing about a person is the love of life.
My grandfather passed away last year, which is a bit of a pity for me. I don't know what hope he has for me in the end, how he wants to see me in the future. I didn't know him when he was younger, and then my mother recalled it to me, and I felt as if I had reacquainted myself with my grandfather.
The closest time I felt I was to death was probably last year, and I had a mole on my head that was inflamed and could become cancerous. I was thinking about whether I should go to see it or not, what if the cancer really changed? Do you want to talk to your parents? What if they find out what they don't say? Finally went to the hospital, fortunately benign.
I recorded a little video and left some words for my parents and friends. I told them what I thought of life, and if I felt the pain of my death, I wanted them to work harder to feel life and eat well.
After making my will on March 30th, I was a little relaxed, and I felt that I had a satisfactory arrangement for my death to complete one thing. This process also helped me to re-recognize my personal values.
However, I also wonder if the will can really be made exactly as I wish. Later I thought, I have passed away, and I have to trouble them to do these things, and I can't use my death to force instill my values into them.
After really looking at myself from the perspective of death, it can guide me how to love life, let me live more towards death, and some emotions and pressures are alleviated. My life is also a little clearer, I realize that many things can not be refuted after death, and the understanding of others seems to be less important, as long as I am myself.
"I define it as a summary of life stages"
Wang Fengyi, 30 years old, product manager
I often see sudden deaths of young people in the news, most of them programmers, and byteDance employees who died suddenly in the first two months were younger than me. Although I have a very positive attitude, it is impossible to say that I am not affected at all, and I also hold a fluke mentality, and I feel that it should not happen to me.
I work as a product manager at an Internet company in Beijing, and I leave work after about eight o'clock every day, sometimes working overtime on weekends. The two years of Internet dividend period seems to have passed, especially the large-scale layoffs have put a lot of pressure on everyone. Guaranteed not to be laid off, I don't have the confidence to look at job opportunities in other industries since last year.
Since the beginning of 2018, my health is particularly bad, my life diet is not very regular, insomnia at night, easy to be sleepy during the day, my mental head is relatively poor, and my weight has risen from 170 to almost 200 pounds. I haven't had a physical exam since that year.
●Infographic. Image source Oriental IC
The trigger for making a will is professional reasons, but the real determination is at the end of 2019, I read an article on WeChat, which is roughly that after a hundred years, it may be difficult for parents to get your property, because according to the legal inheritance (rules), parents need to run many departments to go through the formalities. This was different from what I had thought before and brought me into a different mindset.
My parents are both herders in Chifeng City, Inner Mongolia, only have junior high school education, and my two sisters have not finished high school. Assuming that I left first, they might be unable to extricate themselves from their grief, and if they were anxious about the trouble of inheriting the inheritance, I don't think it should be. I want them to get my little bit of accumulation with the simplest procedure.
After reading that article, I actually have no bottom in my heart, and I am not sure whether this thing is feasible or not. When I was videotaping with my second sister, I jokingly mentioned that I planned to make a will, and she said that she didn't know what the will was, "but it was not a good word."
Soon it was the Spring Festival, and because of the epidemic, our family stayed together for three months. Cooking every day is three of us, my nephew brushes the dishes, and my brothers-in-law are responsible for cleaning. My mom always likes to reminisce about the bad things I did when I was a kid, like when I got into a fight with a classmate, or when my new pants broke in less than two days, and how to tease my sister. I haven't lived at home for that long in a long time, and I'm so happy and cherish that time.
Because before I was 18 years old, my parents rarely talked about it together, and they quarreled many times a day. It's hard for me to tell who's right and who's wrong, it's a helpless state, so there's less sense of stability. Making a will is not actually that I give them a sense of stability, but that after I give them my property, I settle down.
In the future, who raises parents does not need to be said, the north is a boy. Since I started working, I send money to my parents three or four times a year, and the family used to raise cattle and sheep and corn fields, and I told them not to do it, there was no need.
After returning to Beijing to work after those three months, the epidemic had a great impact on the business, about 20% less, and the salary was reduced. Everyone is in a negative state, but we have to continue. At that time, working from home, a person would think wildly and consider the will again. Later, I mentioned it to my second sister 3 times, and each time it was a joke, afraid that this topic was too heavy.
She asked me, are you okay, "I feel like you're quite positive and sunny, what is this for?" The last time was in August last year, and she didn't speak after listening, but it was already a default. Earlier this month, before making my will, I called my eldest sister to talk about it. The eldest sister was five years older than me, more like the elder of me and the second sister, and she was worried at first whether I was in trouble, but later she understood through my explanation.
On March 21, I made a will, including a fund account, some bank cards and a little stock, all left to my parents, and my sisters were married, so there was no need to give them. In addition, there is also a "Fantasy Journey to the West" account that has been played for 19 years, which can sell more than 200,000. I've been playing since 2003 and have been "reincarnated" at the full level, and I've "turned" three times.
When I was a kid, my friends were basically near home, and five of us would go to the Internet café together on the weekend. It's expensive to smash the equipment, I have a few more expensive pieces of equipment, all in 20,000 or 30,000 yuan, some are offensive armor, some are defensive. Occasionally I can throw out valuable equipment without spending money, and once I smashed out a blood return list, which was worth about 178 yuan, and it felt good at that moment.
Now there is not much fun, before someone wanted to buy, I am still reluctant to do, after all, invested too much time and energy. I asked Fa Xiao to play the game together and helped me sell the number after I was gone.
●Infographic. Image source Oriental IC.
I didn't feel much about the day I made my will, and I didn't share it with others. I have not told my parents so far, and in my judgment, if I finished, they might feel that I had a little negative tendency.
The current arrangement is not the final arrangement, because I will have a wife and children later, and it will be modified, and I define it as a summary of life stages, and I like life to have a plan.
"I don't want to follow the customs of the older generation."
Wu Min, 36, insurance agent
My second child is my daughter, and in the third year of her life, at the end of 2021, I went to amend my will.
It was a little different from when I first made my will in 2016, when I wanted to give my eldest son a guarantee for his future, whether I was there or not. At that time, I left my share of the property and bank deposits in my name to my son and my husband, one and a half.
Later, when my younger daughter was born, I hoped that I would no longer be like my father, not to make any arrangements, and then to follow the rules of the older generation. My hometown is Chaoshan, my grandfather left without a will, the uncle of the fourth oldest got married early, and the son born was the eldest grandson. The uncle said that the eldest grandson should be treated as the younger son, and also have the right to inherit property. Mom and Dad actually have no concept of this, and other siblings think it's reasonable, because we used to have a bit of a son preference. At that time, I was in junior high school and didn't understand the law, but it sounded very unpleasant.
Later, after handling the funeral, there was still a little gift money left, the uncle proposed to share this money, the uncle was very annoyed, saying that the grandfather had just left not long ago to mention this matter, too anxious. The atmosphere was particularly bad, Grandma was sleeping in the room, and Uncle Asked me to go and close the bedroom door so that My Grandma wouldn't hear it.
When I was in high school, my mother died because of an accidental car accident. In the process of dealing with some pensions, funeral expenses and work injuries given by my mother's unit, my uncle came to discuss with my father, saying that he had a difficult time recently, and my father was very brotherly, and took some of the money from my mother to them.
I was living on campus and only came home on weekends. When I heard my father tell me about this, I was very unhappy. I have told my best girlfriend about the depressed unhappiness, and she made me want to open up a little, saying that after I join the work, I can influence my own thoughts.
Not long after giving birth to my eldest son, I entered the insurance industry. At that time, I was curious to hear a few clients who were not yet fifty years old talk about their going to the China Probate Bank to make a will. The other party said that there was a special purpose for this matter, and after writing the will and helping to keep it, I had an idea.
In the process of making the will, I realized that in fact, the eldest grandson is not legally worthy. I also expressed my dissatisfaction with my mother's pension distribution to my father. I now hope that my children will face inheritance in the future without distinction between men and women.
My husband did not say anything against or very supportive of making a will, but he understood my thoughts. My father-in-law (father-in-law) did something similar, verbally arranging the inheritance of the homestead and the land when he was alive, and there was no dispute or contradiction later.
At the end of 2021, I added a new apartment we bought when I amended my will, and the heir added daughters, took away my husband's share, and divided the property equally among the two children.
(For privacy protection, the names in this article are pseudonyms.) ）
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