"Give birth to a second child must be early!" The advice of a 37-year-old mother to burst the circle of friends is too realistic...

Author | Cush

Source| Small Ten Points (ID: sdikid)

Two days ago, I saw a particularly poignant video of Zhang Zhilin and Yuan Yongyi.

In the video, Yuan Yongyi said with regret:

"I've always wanted to have one more child, but I can't do it because I'm older.

At that time, I tried to have a second child, but I didn't succeed, and I was disappointed. ”

Zhang Zhilin warmly comforted her: "We have all worked hard, this is fate. ”

Yuan Yongyi gave birth to her son at the age of 35, and at first she was afraid of thin love for her son, so she did not have a second child.

When her son was 3 years old, she decided to have a second child:

But although she and Zhang Zhilin actively prepared for pregnancy and tried to get pregnant naturally for several years, they were unsuccessful.

Later, she underwent artificial insemination, when she was 40 years old, and after enduring a lot of pain, she was still disappointed.

So she mentioned more than once on the show:

The biggest regret in this life is that I did not have one more.

Many mothers around me, like her, have considered having a second child, but hesitate to tangle with age.

When I think clearly and decide to do it, because of physical conditions and other factors, I am not allowed.

So, today I want to talk to you about:

If you really want a second child, be sure to think about these three things in advance.

01

Give birth to your second child early

Fighting for the second child at an advanced age will encounter many problems.

The first question is that I can't conceive it.

With the increase of age, the fertility of women decreases, and the incidence of infertility gradually increases.

Now many young people may think that if they can't do test tubes, they are not without a way out.

In fact, test tubes do not increase the success rate of pregnancy at an advanced age.

Because the golden age of test tubes is 25 to 34 years old, once the age of 35 is passed, its success rate is gradually declining, just like natural conception.

I have a friend who, when he was young, had been dragging his feet without having a second child.

Later, thick stacks of inspection reports were stored in the drawer, and most of the income was smashed inside.

Laparoscopic surgery was also done, and the result was still the doctor's sentence: it is difficult to get pregnant.

The second problem is that pregnancy has many complications, and delivery is not easier than when there is a single child.

Pregnant mothers of advanced age are mostly at high risk of gestational diabetes and gestational hypertension.

A mother in the background once left a message that she suffered from pathological pregnancy hypertension when she gave birth to her second child.

High degree of edema, severe preeclampsia, admission to hospital in high-risk pregnancies with hypoproteinemia.

A smooth birth, emergency delivery vagina 2 degree tears stitched 6 stitches did not cry, the moment of giving birth to the second child, scared to cry.

Fear of hypertension and cerebral hemorrhage to be taken care of, fear of the birth of the second elder hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy caused by cerebral palsy.

Fortunately, she and the baby were fine afterwards, but a moment before giving birth, she even explained the aftermath.

There are also many people who mistakenly think that if the first child has experience, the second child will be born much smoother.

In fact, no, whether the second child is easier than the first child really varies from person to person.

When I gave birth to my second child, I thought I had experience, and it was easy.

As a result, the pain of contractions in the second child is more intense than that of the first child.

The first child is a series of gradual steps, and the second child is very strong every time, and there is no buffer time at all.

The third problem is that it consumes too much on oneself.

Many second-born mothers around me often regret and say to me after giving birth: "I knew that I wanted it sooner..."

Because of the advanced age of fighting for the second child, whether it is through qi and blood, or energy and mental strength, it consumes too much.

Tao Hong previously said that after giving birth to her daughter at the age of 37, she was instantly aging, with presbyopia, white hair, and a long face.

The child took all the available nutrients and she took it, and you yourself were not enough.

There is also 39-year-old Chen Yihan, who was ridiculed for being thin and bulging when she was pregnant with her second child.

She replied to netizens self-deprecatingly: "Nutrition is absorbed, haha." ”

Therefore, if you want a second child, it is best for mothers to think clearly and ask for it as soon as possible.

Don't feel young, there's still time.

Dragging and dragging, a problem that was not originally a problem may become a big problem.

02

No second child is born

Consider the feelings of the boss

Whether or not to have a second child is not only a matter for the husband and wife, but also a matter for the whole family, including Dabao.

Asking or not asking Dabao's opinion varies from family to family.

But before deciding to give birth to and after giving birth, it is very necessary to pay attention to the feelings of the boss.

Some time ago, Zhou Yumin was on the hot search because he gave up the second child.

It turned out that his eldest daughter had a sensitive and fragile personality and belonged to a highly sensitive child.

He spends more time with his wife caring for his 5-year-old daughter.

"My daughter can't leave for a moment, and she needs my wife and me to pay attention to it all the time."

His wife, who is also an entertainer, has retired since the birth of her child and has concentrated on spending time with her children at home.

Zhou Yumin also drastically reduced his work for his daughter, and almost all of his rest time was left for his daughter.

During the epidemic period, his wife took care of the children's life and took care of the children's enlightenment and learning, while he accompanied the children to exercise and play.

Even if the child becomes the boss, no matter how sensible he usually is:

He is still a child in the hope of getting the attention and love of his parents.

Some time ago, I saw a heart-wrenching video.

When the older brother was in the yard to take care of his younger brother sitting in the stroller, he turned to wash the rags:

The younger brother wanted to follow his brother, so he leaned forward, causing the stroller to be unbalanced, and he fell down the steps with his younger brother.

After the younger brother fell, he cried loudly, and his mother heard the sound and quickly ran out of the house.

He slammed his brother and carried him into the house.

My brother bowed his head and followed behind, and I was extremely sad to see that scene.

Behind every sensible treasure is a song that we parents are not aware of.

Xie Nan once shared in "Strange Story" that after having his youngest son, Wu Lao'er:

The boss Wu suddenly wanted to suck the pacifier when he was 5 years old, and it has been more than 3 years since he quit the pacifier.

He even learned to crawl on the floor with his brother, just to get his mother's attention and love like his younger brother.

Before and after deciding to have a second child, we all need to remember to remind ourselves:

Don't ignore Dabao's feelings, he needs the company of his younger brothers and sisters, but he needs the attention and love of his parents more.

And the parents handle it properly, the boss has a sense of security, and he will unconsciously love the second brother.

Like Hu Ke's two sons Anji and Xiaoyu'er, under the education of Hu Ke's "Master Of Duanshui":

Even if the brothers have a small contradiction, they always love each other.

Two days ago, I saw a poignant news:

The 11-year-old brother bravely donated bone marrow to his 10-year-old sister who suffered from leukemia.

After Dabao gets enough love, attention, and security, he naturally has enough love to love his brother or sister.

03

Husbands should be reliable and powerful

In the matter of having a second child, the husband's companionship and support are particularly important.

Yuan Yongyi was very grateful, during the time when she was fighting for her second child: Zhang Zhilin has been accompanying herself and cooperating with herself.

Husband, is the mother's biggest confidence in giving birth to a second child.

Recently, a recent photo of Mei Ting participating in the event was exposed, and netizens were shocked:

This state is also too good, which is like a 46-year-old mother?

And this is due to the fact that she has a very reliable husband.

In the first year of giving birth to the second child, every night the baby's cry sounded:

Mei Ting's husband Zeng Jian got up at the first time, hugging and coaxing and rushing milk, all kinds of busy work.

All-inclusive housework, all-inclusive with a baby, even Mei Ting herself couldn't help but say: "My life is very good, right?" ”

In fact, when Mei Ting gave birth to her first child, she almost died because of the return of amniotic fluid.

But even if the first child is so thrilling, she still dares to fight for the second child at the age of 41, you can imagine:

Her husband Zeng Jian gave her a lot of confidence and security.

There is also Wang Lei, who recently played Li Yannian in "Meritorious Service".

His wife, Li Xiaomeng, 36 years old, was officially pregnant with her second child some time ago.

Having a second child at the age of 36 is already an elderly mother.

She was able to make this decision because of Wang Lei's performance at the time of the first child.

At that time, in order for her to eat more nutritiously, Wang Lei personally cooked and changed her patterns every day to match her diet with nutrition.

Worried that she was bored during pregnancy, he also pushed away all his work and accompanied her everywhere to relax.

Therefore, when some men now complain about their wives and are reluctant to have a second child:

You may wish to reflect on whether you have not given your wife enough confidence.

Every happy two-child family has one thing in common:

That is, the teammates actively assumed their own share of family responsibilities, and the mother had the courage and confidence to have a second child.

04

Finally, I would like to say a few more words.

We say that the second child should be early, which is based on the premise of a decision after careful consideration.

Under this premise, the birth of a second child brings us more joy and happiness from the heart.

Two days ago, I saw a particularly heart-warming video.

A 2-year-old girl, standing next to her mother who had just given birth to her second child, put her arms around her mother's hand in pain and cried, "My mother is hurt." ”

Many netizens saw that after breaking the defense, they sighed that this heart-warming little cotton jacket would definitely be a good sister, and this family would also be a happy and warm second-child family.

In addition, whether or not to have a second child must be decided by the mothers from the bottom of their hearts.

No one has the power or qualifications to force mothers to have a second child.

A woman has two "I do" in her life to be cautious about saying:

One is "I do" when getting married, and the other is "I do" when deciding to have children.

I hope that every mother who decides to have a second child after careful consideration:

Can grasp the golden period of childbirth, have a happy two-child family.

I also hope that the fathers around the mothers can give the mothers firm companionship, support and sharing.

A man's ability to make his wife make the decision to have a second child is the greatest praise and affirmation for him.

Pay attention to the video number of old Xue's whole brain early education

(Some of the pictures come from the Internet, invaded and deleted)

Author: Cush. The source of this article is Small Ten Points (ID: sdikid), professional and practical parenting dry goods, bedtime stories, parent-child reading, beautiful mother promotion, selected good things. Little ten o'clock, care about the child, more concerned about the mother.