If, in the process of dating, which way will occupy the largest proportion of dating, then the obvious answer is to speak.
We can't hold hands as soon as we meet, go to the movies as soon as we meet, go to dinner as soon as we meet, and there must always be a buffer process to get to know each other.
For example, a few small talk to break the awkward atmosphere;
For example, say a few interesting words to deepen the other party's impression of themselves;
For example, talk about common topics and bring each other closer together in a way that resonates emotionally.
It can be seen that in a relationship, the role that language can play in deepening each other's feelings cannot be underestimated.
It is like a bridge, communicating each other's inner worlds, and then reaching different heights in the subtle.
However, water can carry boats, but also can overturn boats, if used well, it can make each other's feelings go in a deeper direction;
If it is not used well, then it will make each other's feelings feel bad.
Therefore, what to say and what not to say, this is what we need to grasp the measure ourselves, so as not to make the feelings become full of holes.
In a relationship between the sexes, smart women will never touch these 3 topics when dating men.
Don't gossip about the other person's past emotional history
Everyone has had a vigorous love, and the beginning of the story is red-faced, looking forward to the future that belongs only to two people, but the end of the story is that two flowers bloom and the sky is different.
For us, the memories of the past are wonderful, but the thought of two people being separated because of something makes it a pity.
Although we have come out of the past, this does not mean that we can still face the bleak history of the past without any shock.
This is true for women and for men.
When we deal with feelings, we can't just care about our own feelings, but we must be more empathetic.
We don't want others to ask about our emotional history, so why should we ask about other people's emotional history?
Liu Tong once wrote in the book: "The comfortable feeling is that you talk about any topic, and the other party can talk about it, not because the other party is knowledgeable, but the other party is extremely interested." ”
A good chat atmosphere is based on topics that each other feel harmless, and only in this way can feelings be smooth and smooth.
Don't talk too much about the other person's salary level
In a relationship, the economic base determines the superstructure, and love may not cost money, but life is inseparable from money.
Love must need a material foundation to support, otherwise, love without material will be a scattered sand, without wind, take a few steps to disperse.
However, this does not mean that when we date men, we have to talk about money, especially asking each other how much money they earn in a month and how much they have saving.
If we feel that this matter is going to be a bit of a fuss, then we might as well try to substitute the scene for ourselves.
At this time, we will feel that the other party asks us such a personal question, which is really offensive and abrupt, but out of courtesy, we are not easy to express directly, so we will quietly give him a deduction in our hearts.
Keigo Higashino has this description in "People with Masks": "The guests of our hotel are all wearing masks, a mask called "guest", and we should never try to unmask them." ”
Life is like a ruler, there must be a degree. Feelings like faces, the most taboo to cross the line.
When we can get along with men very well, the proportion of what is said, then it is not a tricky thing to get closer to each other.
Don't be selfish and just express your thoughts
The ear is the path to the heart, when others say something, if we listen carefully, we can find the answer we want from what the other party says.
For example, what is the other party's preferences and interests, such as what the other party's personality is, for example, whether the other party's attitude towards feelings is slow or fast.
We can all know this from the words spoken by the other party.
Therefore, when we get along with men, if we are willing to allow ourselves to talk less and leave more room for expression to men, it will help us understand men better.
Unfortunately, in real life, women who can perfectly apply this theory to practice are rare.
When they talk about nail art, skin care and other topics, they gush endlessly, but they don't think about whether men like it or not, and whether men want to hear it or not.
In such a state, men will naturally feel that chatting with women is boring, and they are naturally unwilling to communicate with women anymore.
Haruki Murakami once said, "The more people who don't think, the more unwilling they are to listen to others." "At this point, we need to understand that it is important to express our feelings, and it is equally important to listen to each other's feelings. After all, only by knowing oneself and knowing the other can we win every battle.