See the world in the ivory tower
With the rationality of jurisprudence, with the temperature of the media
Author: Knife pen | Audit: Zhao'an
Proofreader: Yan Nanting | EDIT: Small open
Image source: Network intrusion and deletion
preface
Unabashedly, the choice of this book is aimed at the gimmick of "yearless love", and the career settings of journalists and scientists are thirty years apart, which is a bit dramatic.
Even before I read it, I had already conceived that it was a vigorous romantic and warm story.
One is a representative of the two sessions, the other is a reporter who interviews the deputies of the two sessions, and the two people met at a national meeting and interview.
This still sounds very novel, but Zhang Yanping's writing is very plain and peaceful, and he does not color all the emotions of the first encounter, including later, exaggerated or romantic.
I originally wanted to see a love affair with a difference, but the result was that in contrast to them, our modern love dwarfed, and I found that the original deformed love was not them being us.
The words written by Zhang Yanping made me clearly realize what kind of people are worthy of love, what kind of love is worth chasing, and the current fast-food love is more shallow and despicable in comparison.
01 "He's been nice to me" instead of "He's finally here"
Someone once said that I have a lot of "self-pity" feelings.
For example, if I sit there crying, if someone passes by and just looks at me and leaves, I will think to myself, "How can this person just look at me and leave?" I cried why didn't he come to comfort me? ”
"In fact, everyone's heart is very bitter, of course, maybe you are really pitiful, self-love and self-pity is also a good thing, we must love ourselves." 」 But loving yourself can only be loved by yourself, and you can't ask others to love you. ”
She said that if I meet a person who is very good to me in the future, I will not feel that it is "this person himself is good", but I will feel that "he has finally come", then I will inevitably ask him a lot, ask him to be good to himself in anything, and sooner or later he will lose a relationship that may be very good.
I think it's very agreeable, and maybe a little inspiration for some people who are similar to me.
It may be difficult for people to perceive themselves, but once they are aware of their problems, they can remain vigilant.
I thought I would read a moving love story in this book, but I found that the early stages of the book seemed to describe the experience of scientist Yang Nansheng who devoted himself to scientific research and research rockets for several years, and the professional scientific vocabulary made me feel a little boring and tedious, and I began to doubt the author's penmanship.
When I continued to read, I felt the deep love in it, and what she wrote was what she saw in love.
She pays attention not to her own mood changes in this relationship, but to pin her body and mind on each other, which is the performance of truly loving a person.
"If I hadn't met him in this life, would I have felt love from my heart?" Do you feel the pain of a soul being cut? Will I understand the nature and depth of the world? Will I see the starlight above the billowing red dust? Will you accept the suffering in life as if you were a precious gift? Will I understand that tolerance and love are the ultimate destination of life? ”
When Zhang Yanping excerpted some of their letters in the book, I felt the exchange and collision of ideas between them.
Yang Nansheng will send two English poems for Zhang Yanping to translate; he will send a copy of his favorite music tape; he will send a copy of "The Little Prince" saying: "It is estimated that it is not easy to find, so I will send you this book first, and if you find it later, please send it back to me; but if you don't find it, give it to you."
At the beginning of emotion, Yang Nansheng will worry that "the life of one party has come to the end, and the other party has just begun, can such a combination conform to the laws of nature and scientific conditions?" The letter will list the "four major difficulties" faced by the two people.
Zhang Yanping said: "I don't believe that poetry does not come from life, I can't tolerate the affordability of life to the point where even emotions can be traded. ”
"The heart of a child in the world is not to be supple, and once I encounter it and am irresistibly attracted to it, I will give all my love and cherish it forever."
"All I need is a plain note and a rare meeting."
After the first meeting, two years later, the two finally met again in Beijing. Yang Nansheng brought Zhang Yanping a small box with a small golden satellite model, two acacia red beans, and a one-inch black-and-white photo - 40-year-old Yang Nansheng.
Yang Nansheng quietly proposed marriage in the Great Hall of the People, "The scientific thinking logic I have built up all my life has ultimately failed to love." ”
02 He knows how to respect and "treat people as people"
"Respect" and "treating people as people" are really the words I've mentioned the most recently.
Many problems can be attributed to respect, and a person who knows respect can understand the essence of basically everything.
I once met a teacher, and there were always girls around him who admired him.
But suddenly an outsider pointed out that it was he who took advantage of his age and status to deliberately induce the young and ignorant of you to admire him.
I still retort that the evil of human nature in the world itself is elusive, and even incest can sympathize with the inner emotions and emotions of those who are in it, but it is just a little vanity and adheres to the moral bottom line.
"Do you think that's holding on?" It was just waiting, and if there was a chance for him to break through the bottom line without being discredited, he would have done it long ago. At the very least, incest is a voluntary consensus between the two sides, and you are not voluntary at all. ”
Yes, the misunderstanding in my original concept was that "something is okay", and I think that if I don't break through the moral bottom line, I am fine, but most of the disrespect in this world is a very invisible state, difficult to detect.
The world is not black and white, we can not simply divide people into "good people and bad people", but at least we must be divided into "people who do good things and people who do bad things", and can not be distinguished only by "there is nothing to do".
Like the contrast between "vaginalism" and "rapists", the former has no substantial harm, but we cannot understand and forgive the disrespect of this behavior.
Because of the solid-liquid dispute, Yang Nansheng dared to stand up, not afraid of offending people, resisting pressure, and arguing according to reason; after the achievement, there was no scramble, and some people took his research achievements to apply for honors, and he did not care.
The text and propaganda about the recording of space history began to change, involving the solid field, and the name "Yang Nansheng" quietly disappeared.
And because of those years of offending people, his first wife suffered from cancer in the last few years of her life, but Yang Nansheng could not apply for a house where his wife could live in peace for more than one year;
After marrying Zhang Yanping, Yang Nansheng's application for transfer to Beijing was also blocked, because there was no Beijing hukou, and various problems such as medical treatment in Beijing in his later years were hindered.
Yang Nansheng's loss of all this honor is not without a little feeling, but he has a kind of relief in his bones.
He knew that this was the price that the scientific beliefs and personality he upheld would have to pay in a given circumstance.
"He taught me that the most sacred relationship between people is the equality of personality.
In this society, I am accustomed to privilege, arrogance, and condescension, and I am accustomed to it.
It was he who broke this 'constant' in my conception. ”
03 This book, I hope you can read it for a lifetime
Some people say that everyone is a book, and there is no way to understand the whole picture without reading to the last page.
Zhang Yanping is a journalist who began his interview with the Two Sessions in 1984 and covered Yang Nansheng's life and lived to death.
True love should be like this, and the poor can learn and think about each other all their lives.
Rocket research in that era was a secret work, "Dongfanghong I" went to heaven, but Yang Nansheng could not tell his family that he participated in the development of this satellite.
Solid engine, Dongfanghong No. 1, Chilang No. 1, strategic missile pre-research work...
In the movie "My Father and Me", Huang Xuan's actor personally observes the whole process from ignition to combustion despite the danger, which is the real clip of Yang Nansheng when he studied the launch of Dongfanghong No. 1.
Even if the ban on this field was lifted later, Yang Nansheng did not inform Zhang Yanping of all those glorious pasts.
After Yang Nansheng's death, Zhang Yanping used his talent as a journalist to go to the place where Yang Nansheng used to work, interview colleagues and friends who had experienced with Yang Nansheng, and piece together the first half of the life of the man she had loved for 27 years.
By 2020, 27 years of companionship, 7 years of pursuit and healing, this book was written.
In the last part of the book, Zhang Yanping tells Yang Nansheng the truth that yang Nansheng taught her - fame and fortune, being yourself, sticking to the truth, not worth hating...
In the 7 years after Yang Nansheng's death, Zhang Yanping traveled through his life of glorious suffering, just like crossing high mountains and valleys, swamps and mud, and fiery smoke;
Writing 76 diaries is like a person climbing towards the top of the mountain looking back at the road and breaking out in a cold sweat;
He has a more humble and gentle respect for the world, prefers simple and quiet things, and can reach the soul of black and white through dazzling colors.
"I finally saw the universe that you let me see."
Write at the end
I love the love-hate entanglement and liver and intestines on the screen, Zhang Ailing's "The First Burning Incense", Wong Kar-wai's "Spring Breaks", Cao Ruiyuan's "A Handful of Blue"...
But in reality, I prefer that we don't chase the earth-shattering emotions under hormones and love choices that don't care about right and wrong.
I hope that everyone you meet is worthy of it, and you can be firm after choosing.
A serious soul deserves to be loved, and love that allows the heart to grow can be entrusted.