01
Last night, watching the finale of "Please Advise More for the Rest of My Life", I saw that Lin Zhixiao's father was obviously very uncomfortable, and he had to hold on strongly, not to let his daughter see, accompany her to try on the wedding dress, and did not want to miss the beautiful moments in her life.
I was crying a lot.
I used to have such a good dad, but it's been a year since my dad died.
He didn't hand me over to the man he loved, like Lin Zhixue's father.
This has also become the biggest regret of my life.
02
One day in March 2019, I was working in Shenzhen, and I was working overtime after work, when I suddenly received a call from my mother.
Her voice sounded like she had cried, and I asked her what was wrong, and she refused to say.
Finally, the second aunt next to her grabbed the phone and told me that my father had stomach cancer and had been diagnosed, in the middle of the process.
It was like a thunderclap that blew me up all at once. It took me a while to react, and the tears couldn't stop flowing down.
The second aunt comforted me for a while, saying that she and my aunt and my uncle were all trying to find a way.
I didn't have the heart to work anymore, crying and going to ask my supervisor for leave and buying a train ticket to Wuhan in the early morning.
The next day, I arrived in Wuhan, and my relatives were united because of my father's illness. My uncle knew many people, and through his classmates' connections, he helped my father find a particularly powerful chief knife doctor.
Those days, my mind was a mess, but fortunately there were so many relatives around to comfort me and encourage me.
The aunt said that I am 27 years old, I am a big child, and I must be strong. Yes, I want to be strong, to hold up a piece of heaven for my parents.
We didn't hide my dad's condition either, my mom said, as a patient, he had the right to know. Concealing it is not the way to go.
During that time, I was shuttling around the hospital, not thinking about work, and my boyfriend couldn't take care of it.
In the middle of the night, when I was in bed with the hospital, I often thought about the things I did with my parents when I was a child. How young they were then.
03
My dad was a middle school teacher in our small county, and my mom was an elementary school teacher. They met through blind dates.
My mom said she really didn't look up to my dad. Born in a small county, the mother has always been foreign, aesthetic online. The first time she saw my dad, my dad was dressed in gray and didn't talk much. At the time, she was really disappointed.
My dad was a very nice guy, very resilient. He took a fancy to my mother, and as long as he wasn't busy at work, he would go to my mother and bring her something to eat. Once, when he came back from his hometown, he brought my mother a large bag of steamed buns from my grandmother and a bouquet of wild chrysanthemums picked from the side of the road. Looking at my dad's silly look, my mom suddenly found that he was also a good person, at least a little cute.
Since that day, my mom has changed her mind about my dad. Later, they got married and had me.
It is said that when I was born, my father cried with joy when he learned that it was a daughter, saying that he finally had a daughter. At that time, it was still planned/planned/born/nurtured, and others did not understand his behavior. However, looking at his silly appearance, holding me as a treasure, and taking care of my mother to the extreme, my grandmother's family was finally at ease.
I was spoiled by my father since I was a child, and when I was in elementary school, my grades were not too good, and my mother tutored her homework and always made her jump to her feet. She was also a primary school teacher, and when she went to school, her grades were good. She didn't understand, how could she have given birth to such a non-enlightened person as me?
Every now and then, it was time for my dad to show up, and he told my mom to go downstairs for a walk or to watch TV. Then he sat down next to me, and my heart instantly settled. It's not like facing my mom, I'm always nervous, afraid that she'll criticize me and scold me.
My dad is very patient, but whenever I make a little progress, he will give me a thumbs up and encourage me, saying: My daughter is really too smart, with your father's style, admitted to a key university, it will be no problem. I smiled, and my heart was happy like a flowing stream.
Now that I think about it, my dad really did the ultimate in encouraging education, and transferred me from a primary school scum to a middle-class and upper-class child.
Not only that, he also did not allow my mother to say that I was not good, and every time he protected the calves, he made my mother very angry. My mother is so strong, so strong, and only my father can restrain her. Whenever this happens, I sneak a thumbs up to my dad.
It is precisely because I have the stable existence of my father, our family is still more happy. Now that I think about it, my dad's emotional intelligence is still very high, although he doesn't talk much, but every time he talks about ideas. My mom got angry, he coaxed her, and he always coaxed the idea.
When I was adolescence, there was a time when I was particularly rebellious, liked to dress strangely, and made my mother angry enough. The two of us did not obey each other, looked at each other unfavorably, and fought together. My dad became a mediator between us. Because of his gentle father, my rebellious energy quickly passed.
Even my grandmother said that even if I wanted the moon in the sky, my father would probably find a way to satisfy me. It can be seen how much he loves me.
04
It's just that such a loving dad, when I was in his class in the third grade, he insisted that I go to the next class.
When I heard the news, I was so angry. I don't understand, why wouldn't he want to teach me? Obviously, he is such an excellent Chinese teacher and class teacher.
I went home that night, breathless, and didn't eat, and then my dad asked me who I was angry with. My grievances poured out.
My dad waited for me to cry enough and told me that he was my dad and just wanted to do my duty as a dad. If he really wants to become my homeroom teacher and teacher, he is afraid of ruining the relationship between our father and daughter. I was also afraid that the classmates would know and cause me pressure. Besides, he trained me to be so good, he believed in me, no matter which class I studied in, it would not be bad.
After listening to him, my heart was moved to a mess. It turned out that he had thought about everything for me.
There is such a good father, he can see my small emotions, timely guidance of me, so I did well in the middle school entrance examination, went to the city's key high school.
When I was in my junior year of high school, my dad taught junior high school, and we were both busy, and sometimes it was difficult to meet. But on the desk in my room, every day there would be words of encouragement from him. Finally, after the college entrance examination, I sorted it out, a thick stack, each of which was full of his love for me.
My mother was jealous of me and said that I must be the happiest daughter in the world.
Yes, with my father's care and my mother's love, I have always been very confident and emotionally stable. After the college entrance examination, I entered a very good university in Wuhan.
After graduating from college, I didn't want to go to graduate school, I wanted to go to Shenzhen, and my parents also strongly supported it.
It's just that now the sky is falling and my dad is sick.
My mom and I blame ourselves, my dad is busy at work and has a bad stomach. That year, during the New Year's Day, we found out that something was wrong with him, just thought he was as upset as usual, and just reminded him.
My mom also made a lot of stomach meals for my dad. Du Du did not think that this was a precursor to the onset of the disease. Until my father's stomach pain was too much to bear to go to the hospital for examination, the doctor suggested that he go to the big hospital in Wuhan for further examination.
During that time, I saw a lot of life and death scenes in the hospital, and my heart became more and more determined, and I wanted to accompany my father.
Once upon a time, my dad was in good health, and he watched me fly, and I could fly very high and far without concern.
Now that my dad is sick, I just want to be with him.
A long time ago, we planned to travel all over the great rivers and mountains of the motherland. It's just that I'm busy after work, and when I was in college, we went to some attractions together, and there were so many places that we didn't go.
I didn't want my life to be full of regrets, so after my dad was discharged from the hospital, I made a decision to resign and go back to my hometown and go back to accompany him.
05
At that time, my boyfriend Tang Yuan and I had been in love for more than 3 years and had plans to get married.
Tang Yuan was the one I met after I joined the work, and once we were colleagues, and then he jumped ship and came after me again. Because we are fellow countrymen, we can talk very well, and it is only natural to come together.
However, Tang Yuan was firmly opposed to my resignation, and he felt that I was too impulsive. Besides, he himself is 4 years older than me, and the family is urging marriage. He wanted me to stay in Shenzhen.
I told Tang Yuan that if my father didn't get sick, I really planned to do so. But now, I have something more important. If I don't, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
Tang Yuan was disappointed in me, and I didn't listen to him. A month after I quit my job and returned to my hometown, he sent me a breakup message.
I accepted it calmly. It's not that I don't love him, it's just that there is a man who needs my company more at the moment. And Tang Yuan could not go back to his hometown with me, because his job had more opportunities in Shenzhen.
My parents were surprised to learn that I had resigned. That night, my dad asked me what I was going to do. I said that in the past few years, I have worked hard in Shenzhen, I have made some money, and I am also very tired, just take the opportunity to take a rest. My dad said he understood I was worried about him, and the doctors said he did a good job with the surgery and just checked regularly.
Yes, he was right. From my dad's point of view, he wanted to see me fly higher and farther.
But from my point of view, he is the man I love the most, I just want to spend time with him, only with him, we can do more things, my heart will be more solid.
Eventually, my mom persuaded my dad, and my dad stopped mentioning asking me to go back to work.
At that time, a private school in the city was recruiting teachers, and I applied for a job as a teacher who had already taken the teacher's qualification certificate and became a primary school teacher.
When the weather was good, when I came home from work, I went for a walk by the lake with my dad; on weekends, my mom and I accompanied him to the country to go fishing; and on my winter and summer vacations, we went on trips to farther places. I bought a car and took him and my mom on a road trip.
06
The days were happy and my dad's mentality was kept up.
Affected by the epidemic in 2020, my dad did not go to the review until June. It was also this review that the doctor told us that the situation was not very good, and my father's stomach cancer had recurred.
My mother and I were confused at the time, and my uncle grabbed the doctor and asked, after the operation, I have been recovering well, how did I suddenly recur?
After listening to the doctor explain to him, we all cried.
We asked the doctor if he wanted to continue the operation, and the doctor suggested that it was not necessary, because the patient did not say anything about the crime, and it was not necessarily effective, and it was the most important thing to accompany him well.
My dad probably saw it in my mom's and my mom's faces, too. That day, my mother was not there, and he asked me if his illness was serious again.
I smiled calmly and thought about how to explain it to him. Unexpectedly, my dad said that he was in his own body and that he knew what the situation was. It's just that the last thing he's worried about is me and my mom.
He was also guilty and said that if it weren't for his illness, my boyfriend and I wouldn't have broken up.
Before, my parents had seen Tang Yuan several times. After I went back, my dad didn't ask, probably from my performance, he and my mom also knew that I broke up with Tang Yuan.
I said, Dad, I've grown up and I'm no longer a kid, and I can afford it. My dad's tears flowed down his face. I hugged him and cried.
Later, he still said that life and death have a destiny, and in this life, he has lived a good life, with such a good wife as my mother, and such a smart daughter as me, he is very content.
I said, in this life, with a father like you, I am really happy.
That time my dad and I talked openly made us all very transparent. Especially for me, although it is uncomfortable, it is also a lot more calm.
07
Just from the hospital back to my hometown, my father probably still did not feel at ease, so he let my seven aunts and eight aunts give me a blind date.
I obediently cooperated with him, and even talked with him about the blind date every time I came back.
Chen Xiao is my 5th blind date, he is a doctor. Before he was busy studying, busy working, not having time to fall in love, and working steadily, he found that he was 32 years old.
In the small county, he is an older young man and also a heart disease of his parents.
Chen Xiao was very clean, not as handsome as Dr. Gu of Lin Zhi School, but he was also tall and tall. Compared with the previous 4 blind dates, he is already very good.
That day, we also talked about my dad's illness. Chen Xiao gave me a lot of advice from the doctor's point of view. It's not like some blind dates, as soon as they heard about my father's illness, they asked if they would spend a lot of money.
After I went back, I talked about our blind date, and my dad laughed and said, how do you feel that we have a play?
I blushed.
In fact, my father was already in poor physical condition at that time, and he didn't have much to eat.
After another two weeks, he was admitted to Chen Xiao's hospital and received nutritional injections every day.
When Chen Xiao was not busy, he came to the inpatient department, and I officially introduced him to my father. At that time, we were already boyfriend and girlfriend, and It was Chen Xiao who took the initiative to mention it.
My dad was happy to see him and said he was relieved. The only regret is that his body is afraid that he will not last long and will not be able to watch me wear a wedding dress.
At the end, we all cried.
However, my parents did not urge me to get married. My dad said that our generation of young people are too impetuous, marriage is a lifelong event, and it is good to know more. As long as I'm happy, he has no regrets.
In 2021, when spring was just coming, I was still planning to take my dad to see the cherry blossoms, but he left us one night. That day was only two days away from his 62nd birthday.
My father's funeral was attended by relatives.
After the funeral, I was a little out of the way. Chen Xiao would come to see me often, and he advised me to be well, and I had done my best.
After my dad's five or seven, my mom and I talked once. She said that before my father left, he still hoped that I could fly out. My mom said that she and my dad both understood that I was the right person to run. I remember that they went to Shenzhen to see me before, when I was full of love for life and full of energy. What a good state.
My mom said she wanted me to think hard and if I wanted to go to the big city to work, she was there for me. I don't have to worry about her either, she's retired anyway. Wherever I went, she could go with me.
I suddenly understood why my father, who obviously wanted to see me put on my wedding dress, didn't urge me. It was he who understood that I came back just to accompany him, and he also wanted me to have a broader life.
08
That night, thinking a lot, I don't deny it, my parents were right.
I never wanted to stay in my hometown, I longed for the outside world. Now, there is no worry.
After thinking about it for a few days, I resigned. On the day of my resignation, I made an appointment with Chen Xiao, told him to break up, and also said that I wanted to go out and hang out. I said, I'm sorry. Chen Xiao said, it doesn't matter, he understands me.
It was like he, when he first returned to the hospital here, it was not what he thought, it was his parents who did not let him come back. Say that there is a relationship at home, you can help him arrange a little work. His mother also went to look for him personally, and finally looked at the white-haired mother, and his heart was a little soft.
When we parted that day, Chen Xiao and I hugged each other and wished each other better.
After that, I went to Wuhan. I chose this place because several of my mother's siblings, except for her, are here, and several cousins have made their homes here.
My mother followed me, closer to her brothers and sisters, and I was closer to my cousins, and when things happened, it was better to have a care.
Fortunately, with the previous work experience, I did not continue to be a teacher, but to do what I loved, and the job was very smooth.
During that time, I was busy renting a house, busy adapting to work, busy with my mother. Occasionally send a circle of friends to cheer yourself up. When people are quiet in the middle of the night, they will also think of Chen Xiao, thinking that our fate is not deep enough.
I mentioned the breakup because I didn't want to delay him. Although I was unilateral, he also agreed.
It's my choice, there's no right or wrong.
Unexpectedly, two months later, Chen Xiao would contact me. He called me and asked me in which district and if we could meet?
It was also on this day that he told me that he had also come to Wuhan, and at the recommendation of his brother, he went to a newly opened branch of a hospital.
This time, seeing him insistently leaving, his family, although a little disappointed in him, did not stop him in the end. They could probably see that he wasn't very happy, and with his sister's persuasion, his family let him go.
Chen Xiao's sister is a nurse who used to be in the same hospital as him. This time, both brothers and sisters came to Wuhan and entered the same hospital.
The Chen family's parents probably figured it out, saying that they had retired and came to accompany their children. Since they had to choose to toss and turn, they could only accompany them.
Chen Xiao asked me, is he still qualified to chase me? Looking into his sincere eyes, I threw myself into his arms.
09
This year together, we are all very busy.
Every date, I went to the hospital after work to find him, but it didn't prevent two loving hearts.
A few days ago, Chen Xiao's parents had come to my house to propose to my mother, and said that there were any requests despite mentioning. My mother said that everything listens to us, as long as Chen Xiao is good to me.
That day, after the future in-laws left, my mother said that she wanted to come to Chen Xiao and I still had a fate. I understand better that this fate was won by him.
I remember that one day after work, I went to the hospital to look for Chen Xiao, and happened to meet his sister, my future sister-in-law. She told me that chen xiao had a very stiff fight with his family in order to come to Wuhan to find me.
Originally, Chen Xiao's father asked him to go back to work, which was arranged for him, and he would be entrusted with a heavy responsibility in the future. I didn't expect him to meet me, I pried his world apart, and he even threatened his parents with a hunger strike. Seeing that he had an iron heart to come over, she, who was a sister, naturally wanted to help him.
In the end, under the persuasion of the sister-in-law, the Chen family's parents changed their attitude.
I thanked my sister-in-law, but she said: When my brother met you, it can be said that the iron tree of a thousand years has blossomed. Naturally, my sister will fully support him!
After listening to it, I was really touched and moved. When I saw Chen Xiao that day, I ignored the people around me and rushed over and hugged him. He's a little unclear so. I said, I love him! His face blushed.
We are all ordinary people, not as sweet as Dr. Gu's school of Lin, but we also have our own little happiness.
Chen Xiao and I's wedding date has been set, in September, the initial plan is to get a license in May. Recently, we were picking out a place to take wedding photos.
Now, my mother and I are living very well, and the days are warm and peaceful.
It was about to be Qingming again, and last night, I don't know if I saw the sweet interaction between Lin Zhixue and her father, and I dreamed of my father again. In the dream he was smiling. When I woke up, it was already light.
The day after tomorrow, it was a holiday, and Chen Xiao and I planned to go back to my father's grave. He must have been very happy to see us. And I want to tell him that his daughter is going to get married in the fall! She has Dr. Chen who loves her very much, and she is very happy and happy!