It is said that "a woman who can spoil is the best life".
But as a second-born mother of two sons, I feel that the word "spoiled" has long been isolated from me.
To educate two energetic boys, the hands must be able to lift, the shoulders must be able to carry, and the drama of the roar of the lions in Hedong must be staged at every turn.
Therefore, after giving birth to a baby, I became a "female man" Buddha-figure.
I thought the mother who gave birth to a son was treated the same. But last week I went to my boss's house as a guest, and this strong woman in the workplace returned to the family and faced her son, and instantly became a delicate little woman.
"Son, help your mother prepare some strawberries to entertain your aunt!"
The six-year-old boy answered confidently: "Go now!" ”
After a while, the fresh strawberries were washed and served cleanly. I looked at the beads of water hanging from the strawberries and asked my respectable female boss, "Your son must not have done this at home, right?" ”
She smiled and continued to coddle at her son: "Baby, you did a great job today!" Can I help my mother bring two bottles of mineral water? ”
"Delivered right away!"
This kind of picture of "motherly kindness and filial piety" is unimaginable in my family.
I enviously asked my superiors for lessons, and she didn't hesitate to teach them: "You! It is too capable to play the role of a loving mother at home, and the son regards you as an omnipotent superhuman Iron Man, who is willing to take the initiative to help? Haven't you heard a saying? The more the mother is a child, the more the son is out of the ordinary. ”
How should moms be spoiled? This is a wisdom that shows weakness!
My boss told me that the mother's pampering of her son is not by contrived body movements, nor by the sound of taunting, but to pass on a signal to the son - this is not okay for the mother, need your help!
Every son has a "heroic dream" in his mind, they are very willing to hoe the strong and help the weak, when the mother begins to play the weak, it will stimulate the protection in the son's mind.
Take, for example, the simple chore of asking your child to sweep the floor!
Most moms are very direct and tell their sons, "Go, sweep the floor clean!" ”
This kind of domination has a commanding tone, and it is easy for the son to have a rebellious mentality. To put it simply, it is this that makes the child sound uncomfortable, obviously it is within his ability, but because the child does not listen well, so they are not willing to cooperate.
Perhaps, you have the pride of being a mother. Will ask rhetorically: Do you need to worry so much about talking to your son? If the posture is too low, isn't it all the prestige of being a mother? How to educate my son in the future?
But in fact, you "use a strong" way to dominate the child's work, and you cannot establish the prestige of being a mother in the mind of your son. After all, in the child's mind, he did this thing unwillingly and reluctantly. After a long time, he may develop a habit, but in his heart he is not willing to do so, it is easy for them to resist, and when they have the ability to resist, the mother-child relationship will inevitably crack.
But let's go a different way, telling her in a gentle tone, "Son, can you help your mother sweep the floor today?" Mom was a little unwell. ”
For the same thing, each child receives a different message. The child's cognition will change, he will think that the mother can not complete this task today, only I can complete it for him, what a proud thing! So the son immediately took action to do it, and did it willingly, and he was very happy to do it.
See, this is the result of education produced by two different forms of education.
Words from the heart to the mother who gave birth to her son:
Mothers with sons probably have a deep understanding, and the feeling of educating their sons is no less than the tension on the string, and I always remind myself that calm, calm and calm.
After all, the destructive power of the son is really amazing, and a little inattention will make the parent-child relationship tested.
But when the mother learns to play with the son, the tight string is relaxed at once, and it seems to be more intimate to get along, because whenever the mother sends out the signal of "can't do it", it will stimulate the heroic complex in the mind of the little man, and the mother and child will become a combination of rigidity and softness of the "strong and weak alliance", the more weak the mother, the more willing the son is willing to "get away with it", in their minds, the mother is the object that needs their own protection, and they are strong.
As a result, many things that sons were originally unwilling to do, they were also willing to try to use their brains and hands to solve. With the mother's weakness and letting go, the son has a better sense of independence and responsibility, and at the same time, all aspects of the ability have been exercised.
Mrs. Deng Yaling of the Universe has a very classic sentence - "In this world, there are many ways of expressing maternal love, a stitch and a thread of care and warmth is maternal love, three meals a day painstaking care is maternal love, and will be spoiled, but also a unique maternal love." ”
Modern women, able to flex and stretch.
Invincible in the workplace, it is really not suitable for educating his son. Return to the family, face the son, please put down your armor, the mother's spring breeze and drizzle, in order to return to the son's tenacity!
The more the mother will be spoiled, the more the son will be out of the way, it is true! If you don't believe me, try it!