Xiao Jingjing and Xiao Chongyang
In 1988, the great beauty Li Jiaxin won the crown of Miss Hong Kong, and since then, the resources have continued to flow smoothly. After she became popular, her biological father, who abandoned her as a child, suddenly approached her, hoping to recognize her.
Coincidentally, the 2013 Walk of Fame champion "Hawthorn Sister", who was abandoned by her parents since childhood, was also approached by her biological parents after becoming a hit and asked to recognize her.
But both Li Jiaxin and Hawthorn Sister refused the request of their biological parents.
There are countless examples of their refusal to recognize their biological parents, which raises a question:
Although their biological parents did not raise them, they also had the grace of "birth", so why did these people reject their recognition so resolutely?
Hawthorn sister
For this question, perhaps part of the answer can be glimpsed from Xiao Jingjing's experience.
Like Hawthorn Sister, Xiao Jingjing was abandoned by her parents when she was young, but fortunately, she was picked up.
It was the winter of 1987, and a couple was carrying them out of the hospital building. His wife, Qi Chunlan, had just finished hanging water in the hospital because of her unbearable abdominal pain, and was preparing to go home with her husband Xiao Chongyang.
It was late at night, the streets were empty, and even the surrounding shops were closed early, turning off the lights and locking the doors.
When the two walked to the wall outside the hospital, Qi Chunlan suddenly stopped, and Xiao Chongyang also stopped when he saw the situation, asking his wife what happened.
Foundling
Qi Chunlan asked him not to make a sound, as if he was carefully distinguishing what sounds were in the air. In the whistling north wind, there seemed to be a slight cry.
The couple listened with bated breath for a while, locked their eyes on the trash can on the side, and vaguely saw that something seemed to be moving there.
At first, the couple suspected that it was a wild cat, but the sound did not sound very similar, and the two thought about it for a while, or planned to go forward to check it out.
In a mess of garbage, the couple found a thin package, opened the package and looked at it, and there was a skinny baby lying inside.
Babies look only a few months old, and because of the cold weather, their bodies are almost frozen blue-purple.
As a woman, Qi Chunlan couldn't see this kind of picture the most. She hurriedly picked up the child, and while blaming the person who abandoned the baby for being cruel, she looked around, hoping to find the child's parents.
Unfortunately, there was silence and emptiness all around.
When Xiao Chongyang saw this, he also quickly took off his coat and wrapped his trembling baby.
Such a cold weather, it is estimated that if the two of them come a little later, the life of this little baby will not be guaranteed.
It was getting late, and the couple discussed it and decided to take the baby back to their home first.
Although the two have been married for many years, due to various reasons, they have not been able to conceive children, so there are no baby products at home.
Fortunately, there are still some corn grits at home, and Qi Chunlan has to boil them into a paste and feed them to the children first.
Watching the baby eat so happily against the corn paste, Qi Chunlan was happy and distressed.
Although she could not be a mother, she always wanted to have a child, and the baby in her arms made her feel like a mother for the first time.
hospital
That night, the couple hurriedly rewrapped the baby with a clean quilt, and after coaxing her to sleep, the two dared to fall asleep.
Because it was the first time she slept with such a small child in her arms, Qi Chunlan was so nervous that she didn't close her eyes all night.
The next morning, the child's state was much better, his face was rosy, and he lay in Qi Chunlan's arms without crying or making trouble, very well-behaved and cute.
On the one hand, Qi Chunlan couldn't figure out why such a cute child would be thrown into the trash can, and on the other hand, she wanted to make a fool of herself, hoping to turn this child into her own.
But if this child is not an abandoned baby, her parents will not be able to find her how uncomfortable it should be.
After considering this situation, although they liked the child very much, the couple took her to the police station.
It is hoped that with the help of the police, the child's background can be investigated.
But at that time, the technology was still relatively backward, the hospital did not monitor this kind of thing at all, and trying to figure out who the child's biological parents were was simply finding a needle in a haystack.
The couple had to take the child home first and slowly wait for the news from the police.
But they waited for more than half a month, and there was still no news from the police. By this time, they had developed feelings for their child and wanted to adopt her as their daughter.
They came to the relevant departments and wanted to go through the adoption process. After some investigation, the two were eligible to adopt the baby.
The couple quickly completed the relevant formalities and officially became the parents of the little baby.
Xiao Chongyang also gave her a simple and pleasant name: Xiao Jingjing.
"Jingjing" means crystal clear, dazzling, as a girl's name is more appropriate.
From this name, it can also be seen that Xiao Chongyang and his wife love and like their daughter.
The arrival of the daughter has brought many changes to the couple's life.
factory
In the past, there were only two people in the family, Qi Chunlan and Xiao Chongyang, and every day was a "world of two people".
Although the "world of two" sounds romantic, over time, the romance is worn away by reality, and all that remains is boring and dull.
But after having a daughter, it is different, the couple was promoted to parents and mothers, and when they went to work, they had thoughts, and they always looked forward to going home to see their daughters.
Daughter's toys, flower clothes, milk powder snacks, etc., are all hot topics discussed by the husband and wife, the family of three is lively and lively, although the days are plain, but very happy.
After the daughter learned to walk and talk, she became the pistachio of the couple, often making the couple laugh and adding a lot of fun to their ordinary days.
However, with one more child, the couple's daily expenses have also increased a lot. The children use sloppy things, and the couple would rather save some money than treat their baby daughter badly.
At that time, Xiao Chongyang was working in a cotton spinning factory, and his wife could only stay at home to take care of her daughter because she was weak and sick, and the expenses of the family of three fell on Xiao Chongyang alone.
Laid-off workers
However, Xiao Chongyang joined the army when he was young, and he was upright and mature, and he had strength all over his body, and it was not difficult to take care of his wife and children.
In the care and love of her parents, Xiao Jingjing gradually reached the age of school.
Although she was young, she also knew the situation at home, so she was very sensible and never let her parents worry about her.
When the couple had just picked up Xiao Jingjing and raised her, they had specifically instructed their neighbors to help keep the secret of their daughter's life.
But there is no impermeable wall in the world, after Xiao Jingjing went to school, sometimes there was a conflict with her classmates, and she would be ridiculed by them as a "child without parents".
student
At that time, she often ran home to ask her mother if she had picked it up.
Qi Chunlan was afraid of being discovered by the child, and every time she laughed and said that it was her classmates who deliberately lied to deceive her, and advised her not to see her classmates in general.
Xiao Jingjing trusted her parents very much, and her parents regarded her as a pearl in the palm of their hands, how could she not be their own child?
Under the education of her parents, she gradually developed a tolerant and generous personality, and rarely had conflicts with her classmates and friends.
In order to save her parents' worries, she studied hard, ranked at the top of every exam, and became a veritable "other people's child".
Parents love, children are well-behaved, and the family is happy although it is bitter.
But life doesn't always go smoothly, and in 1995, the family suffered its first big blow.
At that time, the mainland was fully implementing the socialist market economy, and with the economic reforms, many state-owned enterprises were facing the dilemma of restructuring or even bankruptcy, and a large number of employees were forced to lay off.
In this wave of layoffs, Xiao Chongyang was laid off by his factory due to reasons such as frequent leave of absence to take care of his wife.
As a result, Xiao Chongyang's family lost their only source of income, and the family's life was seriously affected.
Xiao Chongyang knew that he could not fall, but he was in his forties and had no education, and there was no factory willing to ask him.
Pull the scooter
Xiao Chongyang, who had no other choice but to work odd jobs everywhere, barely making ends meet.
Later, someone introduced him to a job of pulling a scooter, although this job is hard work, but it is better than making a lot of money.
In order to make more money, he works longer days than some young people.
Xiao Jingjing saw all this in her eyes, she could not help her father, she had to secretly make up her mind, must study hard, in the future to get ahead, let her parents live a good life.
As my daughter gets bigger and bigger, there are a lot more places to use money, and it is difficult to support the family by pulling a scooter.
After several twists and turns, Xiao Chongyang found a job delivering gas. The job is a little more profitable than a scooter, but it's also a little more tiring.
No matter winter or summer, every day when it is not dawn, Xiao Chongyang has to get up from bed, pedal a human three-wheeler, and deliver gas from house to house on the street.
Gas tanks
At that time, almost the entire city was an old-fashioned neighborhood, and there was no elevator at all.
No matter how high the floor, Xiao Chongyang had to carry a gas canister weighing thirty or forty kilograms to walk up step by step.
Fortunately, Qi Chunlan found some bits and pieces of manual work to do, and Xiao Jingjing was also well-behaved and sensible, helping her mother to keep the family in order.
Although the family's life is difficult, it also has a good time.
But no one expected that just when Xiao Jingjing was preparing for the middle school entrance examination, her mother Qi Chunlan's condition suddenly deteriorated and she had to be sent to the hospital for rescue.
Despite the doctor's best efforts, she was unable to cure Qi Chunlan's condition, so she had to inform her family and make them mentally prepared.
After Xiao Jingjing knew, she pounced on her mother's bedside and cried into tears.
Qi Chunlan looked at her sensible daughter and quickly wet her eyes. She knew that she was running out of time, and after some thought, she decided to tell her daughter's life.
Send gas workers
She had thought that when her daughters learned the truth, they would blame them and question the whereabouts of their own biological parents.
But Xiao Jingjing did not, she did not ask where her biological parents were, nor did she complain about why they deceived her.
She held her mother's hand tightly and choked to tell her that she didn't care who her biological parents were, she just knew that she would always be their daughter.
While feeling relieved, Qi Chunlan also gave her daughter a final instruction, telling her to study hard and be admitted to college.
Huazhong Agricultural University
Xiao Jingjing remembered her mother's advice, put all her body and mind into studying, and slept at night, sleeping and forgetting to eat.
Xiao Jingjing went through five levels and six generals, first admitted to the best local middle school, and then with excellent results, she got the admission letter of Huazhong Agricultural University.
When his daughter came to him with the admission letter, Xiao Chongyang's wrinkled face finally showed a smile, he did not fail his wife and cultivated his daughter into a talent.
In order to provide for his daughter to go to college, Xiao Chongyang endured the pain of his body, whether it was rain or shine, he was running around and working.
Xiao Jingjing, who has grown up, understands her father's difficulties even more, and when her classmates are exerting their youth and having fun, she is either bored in the library and studying hard, or lingering in various part-time positions to earn living expenses for herself.
College students work part-time
In the four years of college, Xiao Jingjing's grades are in the forefront of her major. Upon graduation, he was successfully sponsored as a graduate student.
In 2011, Xiao Jingjing, who graduated with a master's degree, was sent to Canada for a doctorate.
Just when the father and daughter were immersed in joy and enjoying a better future, two uninvited guests broke the peace.
The visitors were a couple, and the two knocked on the door of Xiao's house, and as soon as they saw Xiao Jingjing, they began to cry.
Xiao Jingjing looked at the strange couple who could not cry outside the door, and panicked for a moment.
The couple she had never seen before, was it the wrong way?
But the couple's next words made Xiao Jingjing stunned.
While holding Xiao Jingjing's hand, they apologized to her and said that it was her biological parents who had come to look for her.
Xiao Chongyang quickly reacted and immediately invited the couple into the house.
The four men sat in silence, speechless for a moment.
The couple took the lead in opening their mouths, hoping that Xiao Jingjing could recognize them, and also took out half a million yuan in cash, saying that they were grateful to Xiao Chongyang and his wife for their "nurturing grace" for their daughter in the past 24 years.
After Xiao Jingjing listened to their words, she did not move the money. Instead, she said lightly that her parents were the only two who raised her as adults.
Seeing that their daughter refused to recognize her, the couple snot and tearfully told her about their grievances.
According to them, at that time, because of the idea of preferring sons to daughters, they were forced to abandon Xiao Jingjing. Afterwards, they also regretted that the reason they came to her was to ask for her forgiveness.
"The crow has the righteousness of feeding back, and the sheep know the grace of kneeling."
Although the kindness of parents to their children cannot be measured by anything, "being born without raising a human being, raising without nurturing and trampling on the soul."
Xiao Jingjing's biological parents only gave birth to her, but they never accompanied her for a minute and a second on the road of their daughter's growth, and even threw her directly in the trash.
If Xiao Jingjing did not have today's achievements, would the parents still remember the little life that was thrown away by their own hands? I think the answer is coming.
Xiao Jingjing naturally understood this, and she returned the half a million yuan brought by her biological parents to them, politely and resolutely asking them to leave: "Bring the money and leave quickly." ”
Although she was in dire need of money at the time.
Is Xiao Jingjing cruel?
"Dear"
Previously, the prototype child in the movie "Dear" was found to be a lot of noise, and after the child named Fu Jiantao was rescued, he firmly stood with his biological parents and returned to his biological parents at the first time.
After the news was exposed, no one criticized his cruelty to the so-called "adoptive parents", but everyone praised him for his "three views".
Why? Because he was separated from his parents, his parents never gave up looking for him, and even treasured some of the small objects he used as a child.
Even if Xiao Jingjing's parents had the slightest hesitation when abandoning their daughter, even if they sent her to an orphanage or given to other people to raise, I don't think Xiao Jingjing would use this attitude towards them today.
But they chose the most cruel kind - abandonment. Are they ruthless?
Not to mention the flesh and blood, even if it was someone else's child, a living little life, how did they get so hard to throw her into the cold winter of the night?
Fu Jiantao and his mother
Xiao Jingjing and her biological parents quickly became on the news, and most people agreed with Xiao Jingjing's choice.
Now, Xiao Jingjing has successfully completed her doctorate, worked at the Shanghai Academy of Agricultural Sciences, and brought her adoptive father to live with her.
Xiao Jingjing used her own practical actions to repay the kindness of her adoptive parents.
"Adults, please listen to me: I hope that those who cannot afford to raise children will not be reborn."
This is a quote from the movie "What a Home".
I think that this sentence, together with Xiao Jingjing's experience, can well answer the question of "why some children can so coldly refuse to recognize their biological parents".
Stills from "What a Home"
If parents are not ready to welcome their children, it is best not to rush to bring him to the world, they gave birth to him, but abandoned their duties as parents.
Then, they are not qualified to ask their children to recognize them, and they will never get back the "filial piety of fathers and daughters, and the love of mothers and sons" that should belong to them.