Someone on the Internet once said: "Borrowing money is the only criterion for testing relationships."
Although this statement is somewhat absolute, since ancient times, borrowing money has been a very sensitive topic.
After all, the world is uncertain, and anyone may encounter some difficulties. And when relatives and friends open their mouths to borrow money, we need to distinguish which person can borrow and which person cannot borrow.
Lend to the right person, the feelings heat up, kiss and kiss; lend to the wrong person, the grace will take revenge, and the opposite will become a vendetta.
The old ancestor also summed up a lot of principles of borrowing money, such as: no matter how good the relationship, these 3 kinds of relatives and friends to borrow money, we also try not to borrow.
1
Delicious lazy to make relatives and friends
In today's social environment, people are only willing to endure hardships and are willing to work, and their lives will certainly be able to pass.
The vast majority of poor people who are not sick and sick have a difficult life because they do not want to make progress and are lazy and lazy.
There are many people with disabilities who are more successful than healthy people, because they have paid more efforts than ordinary people and are more diligent, so they have reaped more rewards for their diligence.
Zeng Guofan said: "All the mediocre people in the world, ancient and modern, have been defeated by a lazy word."
For those relatives and friends who are lazy and eat, be sure not to lend them money.
This kind of person says that it is good to listen to it is not to think of making progress, and to say that it is ugly is to be idle and idle, mixed with food and drink.
Confucius's disciple Zaiyu was full of rhetoric and laziness.
Once Zaiyu slept in broad daylight, and when Confucius learned of it, he was so angry that he said, "Rotten wood cannot be carved, and the wall of dung and soil cannot be carved; Yu Yu and What curse?" (Rotten wood cannot be processed into materials, walls made of dung cannot be smoothed, and I have nothing to say about a man like him.) ）
Good eaters and lazy cooks usually have no self-control ability and weak will, if they lend money to such people because of a momentary softness of heart, it will actually make him continue to fall, and at the same time, it will also make him dependent on you.
Borrow the first time, there will be a second time, a third time, once you refuse later, he will not be grateful to you for the previous loan, but will hate you.
The best thing to do is to resolutely refuse to lend him money, let him suffer a blow, maybe it can make him sober and sober, if you change your past mistakes and be a positive person again, it is also a merit.
2
Friends and relatives who do not keep their promises
There are two classic words in Zhihu:
Q: What is the psychology of a good friend who borrows money and says that he will pay it back at the end of the month, but has been delaying for two years?
A: Quality only.
Yes, quality, seemingly simple and short four words but let people understand a truth - whether a person is worthy of deep friendship, depends on his attitude towards the matter of repaying money.
Some people may understand this truth, but every time a friend comes to borrow money, he will not hesitate to take out the money, he feels that since they are all friends, hindered by affection, it is impossible to say that they do not borrow.
But every time you lend it out, when the time comes to repay the money, not only does the money not come back, but even the so-called "friends" are gone.
There is a saying in the Analects: "A man who has no faith does not know what he can do." It means that if a person loses credit or does not talk about credit, he does not know what else he can do.
During the Ming Dynasty, there was a poor Xiucai who borrowed money from the rich man's family in order to enter Beijing to take the exam. I didn't think that the rich man's house caught fire in the winter, burning most of the house and burning the IOU.
Xiucai's family advised him not to pay it back without an IOU, because the rich man did not lack this money anyway. Who knows xiucai is right, the IOU in the hands of others is gone, but the IOU in my heart is still there, I can't do things with my conscience, and insist on repaying the money.
We often lament that it is easy to borrow money to go out and pay it back. The kind of person who borrows money and does not repay it loses his credibility will only make his way narrower and narrower.
In fact, what is borrowed is love, and what is repaid is grace. Repaying money on time is not only integrity, but also the embodiment of a person's character, and people who know how to be grateful go long.
Lend money to those who don't keep their promises, and it's you who suffers in the end.
3
Love vanity, like to show relatives and friends
There is a cloud in the Tao Te Ching: "The great husband is thick and does not live in his thinness; in fact, he does not live in his glory." ”
This means that the great husband, who is upright and generous, does not live in shallowness; has a simple heart and does not live in vanity.
In other words, if you love vanity, covet the glory of the surface, pay attention to pomp and circumstance, and like to show off everywhere, you must not be a big husband, but a villain.
This kind of person is not uncommon in life, like to punch a swollen face and be fat, happy to show off their wealth, while bragging about how powerful they are, while belittling other families are not as good as their families.
Owe a bunch of debts, but in the circle of friends to post brand-name bags;
There are still not enough credit cards, but frequent access to various high-end places to spend;
Take your parents' money to help you, but block the circle of friends from your parents to travel around.
However, it is such a "powerful" person, and one day he will ask you for help and borrow money to save the emergency.
The movie "Generation Grandmaster" has a classic line: People live for a lifetime, some have become faces, some have become lizi, all of which are caused by the times.
People who are really powerful will not be too keen on bluffing.
Because with Lizi, you don't have to rely on face to make others look up to you.
Desire is endless. Such people who covet vanity are usually incapable of repayment and like to extend their borrowed hands to those close to them.
If you don't want your hard-earned money to drift, when they open their mouths to borrow money from you, please be sure to refuse.