Author: Wang Zhongzhong
People are surfing the Internet, stars are collapsing.
At 4 p.m. on March 15, Xinhua News Agency first published the news that Deng Lun was punished for tax evasion and recovered 106 million yuan, and the star became "3 · 15 evening party "was beaten to fake the object, eat melon masses have been online "chasing drama" - "Lun" to you.
Sooner or later, it will be laughed at by (lacking) (German) netizens to die on the Internet. / Weibo @ Dou Break Daily db
To erase the traces of an unscrupulous artist on the Internet, the major platforms seem to have handled it with ease. Cancellation of endorsements, banning platform accounts, removing related works... Next is the large sad scene of fans taking off their fans and stepping back on the artists who have lost their morality.
That night, there was a B station Up master uploaded a video "My mother collapsed the house ahhahaha", to the effect that the girl's mother liked Deng Lun for many years, usually always love to find opportunities to Amway, and even quarreled for Deng Lun and his family, and now Deng Lun collapsed the house, she was very happy to quickly send a message to her mother that Deng Lun collapsed Do you know, and then the mother has not returned the message so far.
The video has now been deleted. / Bilibili screenshot
The video quickly broke through the million views, but then came a growing controversy over the video. Finally, the Owner of Up was overwhelmed and chose to delete the video and erase all the contents of the account.
Coincidentally, in the summer of 2021, there was also a child who spent 800 yuan to buy a coffee machine endorsed by a celebrity because his mother chased the star, and "scolded" his mother on Weibo hot search.
The indignant children caused public opinion to reverse and scold netizens again and again. And the "mothers" who have lost their voices on the Internet should collapse the house?
"Today is a good day, my mother collapsed"
If you repeat the whole process of this "my mother collapsed room" video from posting to deletion, you will find that this is not just a simple choice to take sides to mock the "brain-dead star-chasing mother" or criticize the "char siu daughter".
In the original 6-minute video, the video Up main daughter opened to explain that she was staying at home to prepare for the graduate school, and her mother, who liked Deng Lun, played her "Fragrant Honey Sinks Like Frost" and "The Great Escape room" at home all day, which made her annoyed.
Even if the replay is over, the daughter said that her mother will deliberately choose Deng Lun's "highlight moment" in the film and repeatedly pull the progress bar to repeat the playback. / "Fragrant Honey Sinks Like Frost"
And because of her star chasing, her mother not only quarreled with her and her father, but did not care enough about her on weekdays, and even ignored her feelings when she was seriously ill and the most difficult time in high school.
In the video, the daughter lists two extreme things that her mother has done. When her daughter was sick and uncomfortable, her mother turned on the TV and asked her to watch Deng Lun, saying that it would not hurt. He also rushed into her room at 1 a.m. and quarreled with her as she prepared to fall asleep, "Deng Lun is so good why would you want to hack him" .
So this time, when she saw Deng Lun collapse the house, her first reaction was "You see, I said that the person you like is unreliable, and what you do is not right", and "Mother's mind and love can be given to her 100% again".
The comment area at the bottom of the video has also become the hunting scene for Up's main mother. "Chasing the stars are all skinless and faceless", "Isn't this just a spiritual derailment", "It's good to let your dad beat up", "It's very pitiful to have such a mother, or my mother is good, and my mind is all on our family"...
One of the follow-up high-profile comments. /b Station screenshot
When the back wave of the B station praised the great mother who "thought wholeheartedly for the family", the video spread to douban and Weibo platforms caused a completely different reaction: "In summary, it is full of disapproval, harshness and incomprehension of women in the 40s and 50s. ”
In order to calm the storm, the new video uploaded by the Up owner later also illustrates this point even more. In the follow-up video, the daughter added "mother's life".
Mom lost both parents at the age of eighteen or nineteen and worked hard alone to raise her younger siblings. After marriage, the mother who had given birth to her second child gave up her career to return to the family as a full-time housewife in order to take care of the children. During her freshman year of high school, her mother had mental problems and had been in need of medication. Later, in order to take care of her junior year of high school, her mother reduced the number of treatments and returned to the family more.
It is not difficult to see that star chasing is a rare "spiritual sustenance" for mothers who are suffering from emotional problems. For this spiritual food, my mother "actually didn't spend much money on chasing stars, just watching TV dramas and variety shows."
Stop punishing your mother with "motherhood." / Screenshot of "Hello, Lee Huan Ying"
Up lord in the new video emphasizes that her mother is usually very good to her, and at the beginning chose to release the collapsed video because she felt that "Deng Lun has divided her mother's love for her". Perhaps she didn't realize from the beginning that the mad demon's mother, like her, was a loveless person. And who is it that has separated the love for mother?
This is not a problem that can be solved overnight, but this is actually a very easy to empathize with the situation, in the words of Yang Kasa: "You don't take me as a mother, you take me as a person, a person with feelings." ”
In the Japanese movie "Lake of Women", husband Mizuki once said to his wife: "The perfect wife is like air, no one will notice her, but without her, it is impossible." Who cares how "air" feels? / The Form of the Family
Mom should/can't/can't
The mother of this collapse is not the first person to be hung up on the Internet by her children because of her personal star-chasing behavior.
In the summer of 2021, there was a daughter who "collapsed" because of her mother's star chasing, "My mother spent about 800 yuan to buy a capsule coffee machine (endorsed by a favorite singer), to be honest, I really broke down at that moment, and deeply realized that my mother really couldn't control herself."
Although my mother has a job to chase stars and spends her own salary, but the things she bought at the beginning are "all we can use in our daily life", and they are still "more rational", "buy it, anyway, it can't cost a few dollars, my mother is happy and worth it", but this time "our family of three really no one likes to drink coffee, at that time I directly said I don't drink".
"I really couldn't hold back, said a few words to her, and then she ignored me." In the eyes of her daughter, the mother who has always been very happy and rationally chasing the stars, why did she ignore her this time?
Whether it is crazy to chase stars, please see Huang Zhizhong's PPT - worship and exclusivity, identity deprivation, extreme role models, and clearly distinguish between like and madness. / Strange Story
The daughter who keeps talking about her mother between the lines probably does not realize that whether her mother's behavior is "out of control" is still debatable, and her "worry" is more like a selfish, harshly reprimanding "disobedient" mother.
Should the mother spend 800 yuan to buy a coffee machine, just like "should the mother buy health care products", "should the mother often buy miscellaneous things online", "should the mother dance square dance", the essence is the same question: can the mother simply pay for her own happiness?
Even if the coffee machine is not commonly used, the happiness of the mother is not often there. / East Side Nightmare
A few years ago, there was a similar popular marketing number submission, "persuade my mother not to eat 60 yuan vegetables" Children complained to their mothers, "can't stand her arrogance." Their family of three had lunch on the way to travel, and their mother wanted to eat green vegetables and rice, but was dissuaded by her daughter that "it is difficult to travel, 60 pieces of green vegetables is not worth it, order specialties."
In the face of the mother who insisted on only eating green vegetables, the daughter only felt wronged. Originally, she wanted to eat a bowl of 73 yuan of udon, but she thought that she changed her computer and mobile phone during the summer vacation and the summer camp cost a lot, "if you can save the province, you don't have too much grievances", so she ordered another noodle for 50 yuan.
Finally, the mother cried and ate 35 pieces of snow vegetable meat noodles, after returning to the hotel, the angry father packed the green vegetables and the mother refused to chopsticks, while eating the green vegetables while angry daughter said: "If I were a man, I would not find such a wife." ”
Where does Mom's "inferiority" come from? / "Home on the Ramp"
Whether it is "chasing stars" or "chasing vegetables", looking at the essence through the phenomenon, the persistence and stubbornness of mothers are nothing more than an independent personality with self-consciousness awakening, who wants to please their own instincts.
In the book "Seeing the World Through Gender", Shen Yifei divides sexism into three types. In addition to the gender inequalities that can be directly observed and felt, there are also more difficult to detect "implicit discrimination" and "reverse discrimination".
Invisible discrimination is a more essential form of discrimination, which restricts women's development by praising their characteristics and functions, thereby limiting women to a specific field. When the image of women is solidified as a good wife and mother in the family, it will lead to mothers being treated unequally for a long time.
In fact, "very few women can fully live up to the glorious image of social praise." Shen Yifei wrote in the book. Women living under the "motherhood" discourse system, sacrifice and dedication become a matter of course, but few people understand the life of their mothers before they become mothers.
Mom also has the right to dream. / Strange Her
Almost a hundred years ago, Lu Xun gave the famous lecture "What Happens After Nala Left" at the Beijing Women's Higher Normal School. Lacking an independent economic position, Nala had only two paths after leaving: either to fall or to come back.
In the current situation where "women can stand up to half the sky", where is the road after Nala runs away, to some extent, it is the path that women after becoming mothers can choose.
Mother in candlelight
Mom in the sign
"I've never been in love, never, this is the first time."
In 2020, Huang Yue in Ganzhou, Jiangxi Province, decided to run away from home, cut her hair despite her family's objections, and ran to Changchun and "Jin Dong" alone to elope.
Through the broadcast of Jiangxi TELEVISION, everyone knows that this "Jin Dong", who confessed to her in front of the fans of the whole network and was "happy with both feelings" with her, is actually a character image synthesized with software, and the so-called "sweet words" are voices made with sound simulators.
When the communication and care coming from the other end of the screen is completely real-time, unscripted, and purely personal, the psychological needs of women to be seen are suddenly satisfied. The strong sense of substitution and impact brought by this interaction is enough to push them out of their current lives.
Even if the "Jin Dong" in the short video is fake, thousands of "Yellow Moons" are real, and their desires are real. "My goodness, my beauty, my people, my heart, my goodness, all sang out by him."
Different from the emotions projected by young women chasing stars, for middle-aged and elderly women who "hurt everywhere except no one", this is a self-help, a desire to live again and a rush to freedom in life.
The Korean drama "Please Answer 1988", which is frequently sung with golden sentences, has two famous lines about father and mother. For the father in the play, the most famous line is: "Dad, I was not born to be a father, and my father is also a father for the first time." So, my daughter was a little more considerate. ”
On the mother's side, it is: "I heard that God cannot be everywhere, so I created my mother, even when I reach my mother's age, my mother's mother is still the patron saint of my mother." The word mother, just a scream, felt choking in the throat. Mom, is the most powerful name. ”
Mom is also a first-time mom, and she needs everyone's understanding. / "Please Answer 1988"
Young people who are moved to tears may wish to think about why it is necessary to be considerate when they first become fathers, while mothers are full of strength because they are the embodiment of God.
Mothers are, of course, powerful names, but the source of this power is not their sacredness, but their "new mother" instinct with a loving heart. Being a mother should never be a matter of nature.
One of the debates in the seventh season of "Strange Story" is: Should my mother stop chasing the stars and not being able to stop the family? In this debate, except for Song Dandan, the rest of the debaters invariably chose the opposite side - should not.
The debater Fawn contributed a golden sentence that can be famous as the "History of the Internet": There is a mother in the candlelight, why can't there be a mother in the lamp?
An "omnipotent mother" is, first and foremost, a free person who can do whatever she wants. As Cai Kangyong summarized in that issue of "Strange Story":
"There is a mother who has gone to chase the stars, that means she has now, she does not have to rely on memories to support herself, we should congratulate her." 」
Resources
[1] "Deng Lun evaded taxes, my mother collapsed, hahahahahaha |ha Dress up
[2] Mom spent 800 yuan chasing stars, and I scolded her on the hot search | Deoxynuclear sweetness
[3] My daughter laughed at her mother, who liked Deng Lun, for "collapsing the house", reminding me of the sad "fake Jin Dong" incident
[4] Why was mom punished for giving so much? | Vista sees the world
[5] Should Mom's crazy rescue of male celebrities be stopped? | Strange said