The public says that the public is justified, and the mother says that the mother is reasonable, all of them are angry, and no one will let anyone. When I had a dispute with my biological father, it was definitely a collision of the ideas of two generations. That would make his own father's lungs angry and his stomach bulge. At this time, as a father, his family status, authority, did not allow him to bow his head and submit softly, so that he lost face. So, as a child in this situation, what can be done to calm this family storm?
First, quickly leave the room where you are arguing, calm your emotions, and calm yourself down.
Father as an elder, no matter how much he has problems, we can't argue with him. Because the dispute is lost, the old man will feel uncomfortable, will be angry, and the emotional catharsis will not go out, which will make the body eat. What's more, the dispute will not solve the actual problem, and it will also escalate the contradiction and strain the relationship between the two. Therefore, when there is a dispute with your father, you must first calm yourself. And the best way to calm down is to shut up quickly and get yourself out of the atmosphere of the quarrel. In this way, you can't see the object of the quarrel, and it will be easy to calm down the rising bad emotions.
Second, straighten out the problem, and then take the initiative to apologize to his father and admit that his attitude is not good.
In a secluded and uninhabited place, straighten out the problem. Then, to understand, as a junior, the father does not do well, he can not argue with the father, which is not only rude, but also shows that his ability to solve problems needs to be improved. What's more, when things happen, the starting point of the old man may not have a big problem, but it is only because his ideological concepts are outdated and his tolerance for him is not enough, so that he will not be accustomed to his words and deeds. Even in this matter, it is indeed a mistake in the father's words and deeds, and it should be well reminded and made suggestions. And you can't force him to do what he says. So, to understand, you must sincerely apologize to your father and ask him to forgive your attitude.
Third, state your point of view to your father to gain his understanding and let him get closer to your thoughts.
The child apologizes to himself, your sincerity, the father will easily forgive you. At this time, under your attitude, he will also self-reflect, and he will also realize his own problems and have something wrong in handling things. Therefore, you can tell your father that the reason for your dispute with him is not disrespecting him, but that you have opinions and opinions in your expression, but the method is not appropriate and you are too anxious. Didn't suppress his temper. Come to think of it, you express your true thoughts about this matter and the opinion points that have been disputed with him, one by two or three, so that he understands your intentions. When the father knows your thoughts well, he will understand you well, and it will be possible for him to really approach your thoughts, understand your actions, and then not oppose you, and will encourage and support you.
Give your father time to listen to his explanations and listen carefully to the reasons for his disagreement with you.
It's not your point of view that's over. You can ask your father to say what he thinks, and from his point of view, you can once again understand what is going on with your dispute. At this time, you should not abandon your father's old thinking, conservative, and unable to catch up with the pace of the times, you must listen to him carefully, think carefully about whether his opinion has a certain truth, whether it is a total denial of him, or there are many views caused by his experience and experience, but you have not really realized the deep meaning of this. Therefore, do not rush to deny the old man's ideas, maybe his ideas can make you have an epiphany, so that your thinking has grown and improved significantly.
Fifth, reconcile, discuss with each other to reach a consensus, and finally solve the problem of quarrel.
When both sides put their views on the table and communicate well with each other, you will find that although the two have very different ideas, they definitely have something in common. Therefore, to solve the problem well, we must find a common place in each other's thinking, and then reach a consensus between the two sides on this matter, and finally resolve the contradiction between the two people, alleviate the tense relationship, and let each other understand each other better.
Arguing with your father, whether you win or lose, things will not have a good effect, and they will also make each other estranged. The quarrel is won, the father can't open it, the body has lesions, and it will be you who is worried and anxious. If you lose the quarrel, your inner grievances and suppressed emotions will make you feel depressed and in a bad mood. What's more, the father's love is like a mountain, many times, we do not understand the father, often because we know very little about them, they always appear in the posture of strength, family responsibility, and strong, and rarely let us feel the weakness and need in him. So, the father who loves himself starts by being considerate of them and not arguing with them.