On February 18, Gu Ailing, a player from the Chinese team, presented a souvenir ceremony. On the same day, the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics Freestyle Ski women's U-shaped venue skills final was held in Zhangjiakou Genting Ski Park. China's Gu Ailing won the gold medal in this event. Photo by Zhai Yujia, a reporter from China News Service
Beijing, March 3 (Wang Hao) Some time ago, the popular film and television work "The World of Man", there is a classic line: "He has the right to choose his own life and happiness." ”
This sentence is most appropriate to put on Gu Ailing.
At the age of 18, he achieved a career "Grand Slam" in the Winter Olympic Games, winning 2 gold and 1 silver. Behind these three words is an honor that is difficult for ordinary people to reach, and the unknown effort, persistence and talent that appears in the mind.
Of course, such a girl who has been ridiculed as "what window God has closed for her" is inseparable from the successful education of her family.
How can we raise such a well-rounded child? These traits need to be understood.
Infographic: Eagles soar. Photo by Li Jinghai
Before the final jump of the women's freestyle ski jump at the Beijing Winter Olympics, Gu Ailing called her mother Gu Yan, who suggested that she choose a relatively conservative action when she was behind in the score, but Gu Ailing finally decided to challenge the highest difficulty.
It's like a microcosm of Gu Ailing's upbringing, where her mother gives her advice from a different perspective, but leaves the decision to herself.
Skiing is a very dangerous sport, and Gu Ailing is often injured in the course of training and competition. Once, after she fell, she had a brief amnesia and broke down and cried. Gu Yan stood to the side, just painfully wiping away her daughter's tears and soothing her emotions.
Just like Gu Ailing's first time in the adult competition, when she came on the court with a cold, her mother only respected her daughter's decision and did not interfere in the name of love. Let Gu Ailing have the right to decide on any adventure.
Gu Ailing said, "I choose a thing, she will not let me make mistakes, she taught me how to decompose step by step, how to achieve."
Because she is in such a free environment, Gu Ailing does not feel tired on the road she chooses, she is happy to complete her homework on the car for skiing, and she is happy to read books when she sits on a transoceanic flight for a race.
Infographic: Shanghai Ballet's classic "Swan Lake". Photo by Tang Yanjun
In fact, the best education is to teach by example and be an example around children.
Because Gu Yan loves skiing, it also affected Gu Ailing when she was young. In order to support her daughter's skiing, every weekend or holiday in the ski season, she would drive her daughter for four hours to ski and train, thus opening a road to the famous skier.
After the Beijing Winter Olympics big jumping competition, the champion Gu Ailing did not celebrate at the first time, but instead hugged the opponent who hid her face and cried because of the mistake of the game, comforting and encouraging her.
In fact, when Gu Ailing participated in the competition before, he also wanted to give up because he kept falling. At this time, Gu Yan walked to her daughter's side and gently patted her daughter's shoulder to encourage her daughter to stand up and persevere.
In the final of the women's freestyle ski jump at the Beijing Winter Olympics, Gu Ailing's mother (front row, second from left) watched the game from the sidelines. Photo by Mao Jianjun, reporter of China News Service
But somewhat unexpectedly, Gu Yan once said to her daughter, you don't have to thank me when you grow up, you don't owe me at all. It is precisely this attitude that makes Gu Ailing's wings have no burden and can fly higher and higher.
She said, "If I want to talk about ideas, I remember two sentences, the first of which was said by their teacher when Ailing entered the school, not to discourage children's creativity." The second sentence is the concept learned, praise them less for their intelligence, more praise for their efforts. ”
Remember that in the popular TV series "Little Joy" two years ago, there was a character named Song Qian, who, as a successful Kochi woman, but she could not communicate well with her children.
Screenshot of Little Joy.
She planned everything for her daughter, but she didn't think about whether it was what her daughter wanted. And once the daughter disobeys the mother's will, she will feel guilty. Under such pressure, neither mother nor daughter is happy.
Many viewers' evaluation of Song Qian is suffocating, more or less seeing the shadow of her parents. This is a counterexample in education, and for anyone, the three words "for your own good" are too heavy.
The existence of parents' high expectations for their children is not difficult to understand, but how to reasonably express expectations is a science. The goal that is suitable for children is the best goal, and the path that suits children is the best path.
Give each other more space in the parent-child relationship, and at the same time tell the child that when encountering difficulties, do not give up, and make a good choice at key moments in life.
When Su Yiming was 7 years old, he was seriously injured in the process of skiing and fractured his thigh. It's not hard to imagine what a blow this is for a child.
But after the operation, the first thing Su Yiming's mother said was not comfort, but: "Baby, we can't give up skiing because of this matter." ”
Su's mother said that she did not hope that her son would have achieved much in skiing, but did not want him to shrink back because of fear.
After that, whether Su Yiming chose to participate in film and television dramas or decided to become a professional athlete, his mother supported him and encouraged him. This is probably what affection looks like, reaching out to you in difficult times and withdrawing your hand to applaud you after you walk independently.
Source: CNSphoto
Of course, no one will be the next Gu Ailing, and no one will be the next Su Yiming.
But everyone can be a better version of themselves, and it can also help children grow better — giving them the freedom to choose the path to the future, rather than relying on self-righteous experience to control and replicate their children's future.
As "The World of Man" says, "He has the right to choose his own life and happiness" is the best blessing for all the children in the world.