A warm table focused on the wisdom and warmth of life
Unconsciously, the Winter Olympics schedule is more than halfway through.
In just eight days, we have met countless excellent and hard-working domestic athletes, and if you want to ask everyone's favorite domestic athletes during this time, there may be many answers.
But I believe that if you ask everyone's favorite foreign athletes, including me, the answer for many people will be Yu Yu.
No way, this 27-year-old guy is really a fan.
He is the first figure skater to win an Olympic gold medal in 66 years, and the first super slam winner in the history of the figure skating men's singles event.
Various awards and championships, almost won by the hand, no ancients, no one after.
Even The "Ice Emperor" Pushshenko, who has been stingy with words of praise for many years, once commented on the Feather String:
"A really strong player doesn't win just one game, but can do a winning streak... But it's amazing that Habu can do that. ”
His presence has even promoted and led the development of figure skating projects, pulling figure skating into the era of "true jumping around", and it is no exaggeration to say that his contribution to figure skating has been no less than Jordan's basketball.
What's more, after receiving so many honors, he did not stop there, but put wins and losses aside, and continued to hit the limit of humanity at this Winter Olympics - Axel's four-week (4A) jump.
Such a shining sports star, he had the right to look at the figure skating world, but under the ice rink, he was so humble and courteous, gentle and low-key.
In order not to disturb his teammates' interviews, he leaned down and crawled through the camera's shooting location.
Seeing that the Chinese team members had taken the national flag backwards, he enthusiastically went up to help adjust it.
After the game, he will also help the ice boy to tidy up the venue.
With both strength and character, such a treasure boy is favored by the whole world regardless of country and gender, which is naturally reasonable.
But few people know that this ice prince, in his childhood, is just a small boy with an ordinary family and a stubborn personality.
And now these high-quality, beautiful shining points in him are cultivated by his family.
Born in Sendai, Miyagi, in northeastern Japan, his father, Hidetoshi Habu, wanted him to grow up to be as relaxed as a bowstring, so he named it "Knots".
His father was the school's director of instruction and baseball coach, and his mother was a housewife, and the family conditions were average.
Yusei's initial exposure to skating was not because his parents wanted him to master this skill, but because he was physically weak, suffered from congenital asthma, and could not go to places where smoking was available, and the skating rink was naturally suitable.
Therefore, his parents arranged for him to learn to skate, in order to let Yusheng tie the strings to increase resistance and strengthen his body.
After starting skating, Yu yusei showed his strong talent and was able to slide freely around the skating rink in a very short time.
But as we all know, talent is talent, once the difficulty rises or repeated training, children can easily produce boredom and resistance.
The Feather Knot string is no exception.
His coach confessed: "I think he was reluctant half the time. Compared to skating, I look much happier when I play baseball with my dad. ”
The sport of skating is very expensive, his family conditions are not good, coupled with Yu Yusuke's greed for playing and liking novelties, so when he trains, he is always reluctant.
Once, he angered the coach for being naughty and complaining, and the coach got angry and shouted, "If you don't want to practice, go back!" "Drove Yusei back home."
After running into such a big disaster, it is natural to hide from the family. Father soon learned how things were.
Many parents see their children like this, may be a harsh lesson to their children, feel that the family is so tight, spend so much money to send you to skate, you are not only unappreciative, but also provoke the coach to be angry, really disappointing!
However, Yusheng's father did not do this, but let Yusheng Yuxian sit next to him and solemnly asked him a question:
"Do you really like skating?"
The teenager thought for a long time and replied seriously: "It's a bit annoying, I don't want to continue." ”
My father laughed when he heard it: "If you hate skating, you can give up." ”
The father agrees to the child's abandonment, which at first glance seems absurd, but when you think about it, you are extremely gentle and tolerant.
He did not blame Yusheng for not understanding the difficulties of the family, nor did he severely criticize and force Yusheng to insist, but fully respected the child's own ideas, even if he gave up, he would not blame him.
However, after his father agreed to give up, yusheng yusuke had more opportunities to calm down and think about his future.
It wasn't long before Yusei began to think about his heart, and he found that he really liked skating, but he was carrying too many other things, so he re-embarked on the ice rink.
In a later interview, Yusei yushin said that if his father had forced him to persevere in the beginning, he might not have liked skating, let alone what he has achieved today.
It is precisely because of the tolerant and reciprocal relationship between father and son that it gives Yusheng more room for relaxation, so that he can decide his own life without burden, so as to see his own heart.
In the growth path of Yusheng Yushin, in addition to the tolerance of his father, there is also the companionship of his mother.
For Habu's skating dreams, Yumi, her mother, has always been unconditionally supportive, and even if there are no conditions, she will do her best to create conditions to support him.
When the family was tight on funds, his mother manually sewed his competition clothes for him, and until Yu Yusuke won the Winter Olympics, his competition clothes were almost all from his mother's hands.
In high school, my mother went to Canada to accompany her to study and make three meals a day, just so that Yusheng, who was not accustomed to Western food, could eat the taste of his hometown every day.
When he first entered the professional arena, Yu Yusuke's coach was not exclusive, and he could not accompany him to compete every time, but his mother was almost never absent, always sitting in the corner of the stand on the sidelines to support him.
In the Sendai earthquake in Japan, Habu's hometown was destroyed, and his home was also seriously damaged, and he had no money to continue skating, and Habu Yushin once felt that he should not continue skating.
In the end, it was his mother who stood up, and in addition to encouragement, went around contacting the ice rink for him, and exchanged 60 disaster relief charity performances for the venue where Yusheng continued to practice.
In addition, Yusei's studies did not fall behind, and he was admitted to Waseda University in Japan with excellent results.
The all-out companionship, unconditional support and love of his parents have created the tenacity of Yu yusuke and the courage to dare to challenge in the face of the "impossible".
Therefore, even if it is the 4A that challenges the limits of human beings, he does not have any burden.
Although there were some regrets about the failure of the final challenge, he did not get too frustrated, but smiled and said: "I was hated by ice today." ”
For this big boy from an ordinary background, the life loved by his parents is all his armor, all his weapons and wealth.
In fact, it's not just feathers.
In the field of this Winter Olympic Games, those athletes we know well, excellent athletes, behind them, also have a group of parents who love them tenderly.
Gu Ailing's mother said: "You don't have to go to Stanford, what school you go to, as long as you especially like it, but more importantly, you don't give up studying for the rest of your life." ”
Jin Boyang's mother, Jin Boyang, was actually a little late when she was just accepted by Coach Chen Xiujing, but she pushed off all the activities of partying, traveling and shopping, doing various jobs on time, winning the respect of the coach and guiding Jin Boyang on a more correct path.
There is also Su Yiming's mother, who gave Su Yiming the greatest degree of freedom, and gave Su Yiming the choice of being a child star or practicing skiing to Su Yiming himself, letting him choose the path he wanted to take.
Did you find it? Several Olympic stars may have different families and grow up in different areas, but their parents have invariably chosen the same way of love and support.
Their love is truly based on an equal relationship.
They did not force the child to be what they wanted, nor did they use their hard work to emotionally kidnap the child, but to be a quiet ferryman.
Their love for their children is like teaching children to ride a bicycle, giving them a good direction, lifting them up and accidentally falling, and accompanying and guiding them all the way, until on the wider and wider road, watching children become the most wanted to be themselves.
During the Winter Olympics, many parents saw the achievements of outstanding Olympic champions such as Yusheng Yuxian and Gu Ailing, and they were also eager to try their children.
However, they only saw how hard Yusheng and Gu Ailing worked hard, but they didn't see that this effort was not "forced" at all, but "loved" out.
Many parents can easily fall into a kind of self-touching, thinking that what they are doing now must be right, and their children will thank themselves in the future.
But they forget that children need more guidance and quiet influence than coercion or self-motivation.
I remember some time ago there was a hot search Weibo where a mother ordered a birthday cake for her eight-year-old son.
The cake was originally the child's favorite Pikachu shape, but in order to remind her son to review his studies well, the mother changed the cake to a shape full of textbooks and homework.
She brought the cake to her son with joy, wanting the child to see the mother's hard heart, but the child saw it, but she broke down and cried.
The story of this mother and son is actually just a microcosm of the relationship between many Chinese parents and children.
Many parents only know how to blindly educate their children according to their inherent cognition, but they do not know how deep the harm to their children is.
Children who grow up in "percussive education", children who grow up in families that "always compare other people's children", and children who grow up in "moral kidnapping" and "self-giving" feelings are born with broken wings.
You may have heard something similar:
"I've sacrificed so much for you, why can't you try any harder?"
"You see XX students can score 100 points, why can't you?"
"You did so badly, do you still want me to encourage you?" Don't you pee and look in the mirror? ”
Psychological therapist Susan Forward, in the book "Emotional Blackmail", defines such a soft mental PUA as emotional blackmail:
That is to say, parents are using the cherished emotional relationship between their children and themselves to manipulate their children to sacrifice their personal needs to achieve their own needs.
However, such blackmail, emotional kidnapping, and even scolding may not make the child hate you, but it will definitely make the child hate himself and live as a person driven by guilt.
After growing up, they have lost their internal drive innately, always have no self-confidence, are always afraid that they will not do a good job, fail to live up to the expectations of others, and even have the idea that they are a burden to their parents.
And those children who have been tender and truly loved by their parents, their driving force is red with hope and love.
They know that whether it is a thorn or an ocean, their parents will unconditionally support themselves behind them, they feel that they deserve to be loved, and they can be bolder and more confident to love others.
Therefore, they can calmly, fearlessly, and more proudly embark on their own lives.
Love, respect, gentleness and companionship are always the most powerful driving force for children, and they are also the most treasures that children can take from their parents.
Learning to love correctly is the most important subject that every parent and child should learn in their lifetime.
Solemn reminder