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Theme: How to judge whether intimate behavior is moral?
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Text: Russell
Happiness, as has been revealed before, depends partly on the external environment and partly on the individual himself. We examine the part that depends on the individual himself and conclude that the trick to happiness is very simple in the context of what is relevant to the individual himself. Many people — and I think the aforementioned Mr. Croce should also be included — believe that happiness is impossible without a faith that is somewhat religious. Many people who are unhappy themselves believe that their sorrows have complex and highly rational causes. I don't believe these are the real roots of happiness or unhappiness, I think they are only superficial. A happy person usually believes in what is happy, while an unhappy person tends to adopt unhappy beliefs, both attributing their happiness or unhappiness to their respective beliefs, and the true causal relationship is diametrically opposed. For the vast majority of people, certain things are indispensable, but they are also simple: food and clothing, health, love, successful work, and respect from peers.
For some, parenthood is also necessary. In the absence of these things, only extraordinary people are likely to attain happiness, but if a person is not lacking in these things, or can obtain them through a small effort, but he still feels unhappy, then he must have some kind of psychological disorder. If this disorder is very serious, he should seek treatment from a psychiatrist, but in general, as long as various affairs are properly arranged, then this disorder can be cured by itself alone. In a place where the external environment is not absolutely troubled, as long as a person's enthusiasm and interest develop outward rather than inward, he should be able to attain happiness. Therefore, in education or in our attempts to adapt ourselves to our circumstances, our efforts should be directed towards trying to avoid selfish desires and try to acquire the emotions and interests that prevent our minds from focusing on the self forever. It is in most people's nature not to feel happy in prison; but how can we not build a worse prison by locking us in our own emotions?
Among these emotions, the most common are. Fear, jealousy, guilt, autobiography and self-congratulation. In these emotions, our desires are focused on ourselves, with no real interest in the outside world, just fearing that it will hurt us in some way or fail to satisfy our own needs. People are extremely reluctant to admit the truth, eager to hide in the warm robes of lies, mainly because of fear, of course. However, the thorns of reality tore through the robe, and the cold and bitter wind drove straight in from the place where it was torn, and the person who had become accustomed to warmth and comfort at this time had to suffer more than a person who had honed himself from the beginning. Moreover, those who deceive themselves often know in their hearts that they are deceiving themselves, and they are afraid and suspicious all day long, afraid that something unfavorable will force them to face reality with difficulty.
One of the biggest flaws in self-centered emotions is that they rarely enrich life. A man who loves only himself, of course, will not be blamed for the clutter of love, but in the end he is bound to feel extremely bored, because the object of his love will never change. A person who suffers from guilt must be a self-centered person. In the vast expanse of the universe, the most important thing, in his opinion, is his own high character. The greatest flaw of a form of traditional religion is that it encourages this particular self-concentration.
A happy man, who settles down with an objective attitude, who has free love and broad interest, by virtue of which he attains happiness by virtue of which he becomes the object of love and interest of others. Being able to be the object of love is certainly a great source of happiness, but the person who asks for love does not really get love. Broadly speaking, the one who receives love is the one who gives love. However, it is useless for a person to give love to others only after careful calculation, as is the case with money for the sake of interest, because calculated love is not sincere, and the person who receives it will not feel that it is sincere.
What about a person who is imprisoned in himself and feels unhappy? As long as he continues to dwell on the causes of his misfortune, he remains self-centered and therefore unable to escape this vicious circle. If he's going to jump out, he has to resort to real interests, not to contrived interests that are accepted as drugs. Although the difficulties do exist, if he can correctly diagnose his problems, he can still do a lot. For example, if his problem is guilt in consciousness or unconsciousness, then he can first make his consciousness understand that he has no reason to feel guilty, and then, in the manner we have pointed out in previous chapters, he deeply embeds reasonable beliefs in the unconscious, while focusing himself on activities that are neutral. If he succeeds in eliminating guilt, then a genuinely objective interest will arise naturally. If his problem is self-pity, then he can first make himself understand. There is no big deal of misfortune around him, and then use the above methods to solve this problem.
If his problem is fear, let him do some exercises that will help build courage. Since ancient times, bravery on the battlefield has been considered a virtue, and the training of boys and young men is mainly to cultivate the character that regards war as such a drama. However, moral courage and wisdom have not attracted the same attention, although these qualities have their own methods of cultivation. Every day you have to admit at least one truth that pains you, and you will find that it is as beneficial as the Boy Scouts' daily lessons. You have to learn to feel that even if you're far less morally and talented than your friends (which is not the case), life is still worth experiencing. This practice, if it lasts for several years, will eventually make you face the facts calmly, and in doing so, free you from widespread fear.
When you have overcome the problem of self-concentration, as to what kind of objective interest you can have in the future, it can only be a natural result of your nature and external environment, and you don't have to bother with it. Don't start by saying to yourself, "If I could get hooked on stamp collecting, I'd be happy." "And so you start collecting stamps, because as a result you may find that stamp collecting is not much fun." Only what really interests you will be good, but once you learn to stop being self-centered, a genuinely objective interest will arise, and you can trust that.
To a large extent, a happy life is a happy life. Professionalists are so focused on self-restraint that they misplace the focus. Conscious self-restraint, which causes a person to become self-focused and clearly aware of the sacrifices he has made, can only result in the fact that he often fails at the present goal; on the final goal, he almost always fails. What people need is not self-restraint, but an extroverted interest that produces spontaneous, unpretentious behavior that, in a person who is focused on the pursuit of self-cultivation, can only be achieved by conscious self-restraint.
I seem to be writing as a hedonist, that is, I think happiness is happiness, but the behavior advocated by a true hedonist is not in generally the same as that advocated by a sober moralist. However, moralists tend to value behavior over psychological states. In fact, the reason why the effects of different actions are hugely different is because the psychological state of the actors at that time is different. If you see a child about to drown, but you rescue him with the direct impulse to rescue, then when you come out of the water, your morality is not damaged in the slightest. However, if you say to yourself, "It is part of virtue to rescue a helpless person, and I want to be a virtuous person, so I have to go and save this child." "In this case, you can only be worse after the fact than you are before the fact. What can be applied in this extreme example also applies to many other less obvious things.
There is another, more subtle difference between me and the attitudes of life advocated by traditional moralists. For example, traditional moralists tend to say that love should not be selfish. In a sense, this is true, that is, the selfishness of love should not exceed a certain limit. However, there is no doubt that love should have the nature that a person can derive happiness from successful love.
If a man proposes to a woman on the grounds that he sincerely wishes her happiness and thinks that she can give him the ideal opportunity for self-restraint, then it seems to me that the woman's ability to be fully satisfied is in question. Needless to say, we should want our loved ones to be happy, but we shouldn't replace our own happiness with it. In fact, once we have a genuine interest in others or in things outside of us, the opposition of the self to others contained in the doctrine of self-restraint immediately disappears.
Because of this interest, one feels that one is part of the flow of life, unlike billiards itself, which is just a hard entity and no longer has anything to do with other billiards except to collide with each other. All unhappiness is based on a certain division or disharmony: the disharmony between the conscious and the unconscious, which leads to the division of the self; since the connection between the self and society depends on the power of objective interest and love, the lack of which leads to disharmony between the self and society. A man, if he is happy, will never suffer from the pain of these two divisions; his personality will neither split against the ego nor split to exclude the world. Such a man feels that he is a citizen of the universe, free to enjoy the magnificent sights and happy times it gives; he is not troubled by the thought of death, for he feels that there is no real gulf between him and his successor.
Taste the beauty and sorrow of life
As an actor, Ms. Li Jingjing is highly respected by many international opera masters and is a famous opera artist who has won many international awards. She looks as well-behaved and lovely as a little sister next door, but under such an appearance, there is the infinite expressiveness and tension of the performance artist.
In order to present the most perfect lesson listening experience to everyone, Ms. Jingjing personally carefully selected the world's best version of the music repertoire, interspersed with the plot for everyone to enjoy. She will deeply analyze the music, plot, characters, era background, composer anecdotes and other interesting things, and ridicule western "serious" opera from the perspective of a young artist after the 80s and a first-line actress active on the opera stage. Listening to beautiful arias and learning about the moving story behind the music, will you fall in love with opera on the spot?