Text/End Of Little North
Life is originally beautiful, but why do we always feel pain?
In fact, the reason for this is very simple, that is, we have too many expectations and comparisons, because the expectations in our hearts are too high, and when something is not as we expected, it will be particularly painful.
Man is not an individual, there will naturally be comparison, we are human beings, it is impossible to live particularly thoroughly, and things outside the body are naturally difficult to put down.
At that time, if a person has always had high expectations and more comparisons, then his life can only be more painful.
You are good to people, others may not use the same way of feedback, today you compare this, the day after tomorrow you compare that point, than to compare to go is not to increase their own troubles?
Really smart people rarely expect and compare.
Because, they know that life is their own business, they have nothing to do with others, they expect more, they have more, but they take other people's things to add to their own blockage.
To put it simply, if you want to live happily in the second half of your life, you should expect less and compare less.
01: Expect less and you'll be happier
People get along with each other, not exactly as we expected, you think the other party will do this, but did not expect the other party to do exactly that.
At this time, if you are on the line, how can you be happy?
Others are not you, your approach others may not agree, the true heart will not necessarily change the heart, if you think that you have paid the heart, you must change back to the heart, then don't pay.
Tell a friend Da Zhang's story, this incident made Da Zhang particularly angry, he could not imagine that the other party was such a person.
Da Zhang has a very good friend, some time ago the friend needs money, Da Zhang did not hesitate to lend to each other, he feels that friends should be like this, since the other party has difficulties, it is necessary to help, this is right.
The friend was very grateful at that time, saying that if he had difficulties, he would also help, so he was full of expectations in his heart, and he felt that this friend was worth making.
If it wasn't for what happened later, Da Zhang would still think so, but now he doesn't think so.
Two days ago, Da Zhang just needed money, and he didn't think about it before he opened his mouth with his friend, who thought that his friend would lend it to him immediately, because he borrowed money at that time, and he did it himself.
Da Zhang Wanwan did not expect that the other party actually said that he was nervous and had no money now, and after hearing this news, Da Zhang even did not believe it a little, because his expectations were too high.
Although he didn't believe it, the result was in front of him, and when he talked to me, he still had a hard time letting go, and I advised him to let go, because there was nothing but to do so.
Although Da Zhang knew that there was no way, he just couldn't accept it.
Why can't Da Zhang accept it?
It is that the expectations are too high, he thinks that he has done this, others will do this, in other words, he has shown his sincerity, and others should also show his sincerity, but is this really the case?
Human nature is inherently complicated, you just need to be good at yourself, as for others that is his business, don't have too high expectations for others, only in this way can you live happier.
Simply put, the greater a person's expectations, the more difficult it is to accept results with gaps, and if expectations are low, it is easier to be satisfied and easier to get happy.
We live to find happiness, not to add to ourselves.
Therefore, if we want to be in a happy mood, we must have less expectations and more casualness, only in this way, we will not make ourselves more painful.
02: Less comparison, happiest
The reason why it is difficult for a person to feel happiness is because there are too many comparisons.
There are comparisons, which may seem like a motivator on the surface, but it can also bring great harm to oneself.
Regarding the comparison, this Spring Festival I went home to experience more deeply.
Everyone sits together and hardly talks about anything else, just talk about who bought a good car, who bought a big house, in short, all kinds of comparisons, showing off money, jealousy without money, in short, it is difficult to have the previous happiness.
We have to think about being happy, only less comparison, only less, the result will be happy.
In this world, we were supposed to be our own, but we didn't want to lose ourselves because of comparison, let ourselves live a little unhappy, and finally regret it.
Knowing this is not the case, but life is really difficult to buy early to know.
Know at all times that other people don't have anything to do with you, you just need to be yourself.
Classmate Wang Bin has recently been particularly popular, the Spring Festival out of 3 doors, everyone is comparing, he originally wanted to have not seen each other for a year, each other can talk about the past, but no one thinks so.
When he went to his uncle's house, just sat down, everyone began to talk about the car, Wang Bin did not want to talk, but if he did not speak, it would give people a feeling of unsociable, so they had to talk together.
During the period, a cousin asked him what kind of car he was driving, Wang Bin simply said that he drove a Volkswagen, originally he thought it would be counted, but he did not expect that the other party was still asking, asking him what was volkswagen.
No way, he had to say.
When he had finished speaking, the cousin said:
"It seems that you have mixed up a lot this year, and I have changed to Audi."
After the cousin finished speaking, Wang Bin was particularly angry, but he still had to show that he didn't care, and smiled awkwardly.
Wang Bin thought that this was just an accident, but he did not expect that the next two were still like this.
After talking about this matter, Wang Bin said:
"What do you say this is, what is there to compare, the days are your own and not someone else's, is it more interesting than coming and going?"
After Wang Bin finished speaking, I did not answer, because I could not answer, because some people naturally like to compare, some people do not like to compare, some people are happy because of comparison, and some people are miserable because of comparison, there is really no way to say.
But in any case, it is difficult for a person who especially likes to compare to feel happy, because he always compares and will not stop.
You know, there are people outside the sky, there is always a time when you can't compare, this time will only make yourself miserable.
I saw a particularly heartfelt sentence on the Internet:
"If, people can't avoid comparison all their lives, then you might as well change the way of thinking about comparison, you go to the hospital to see, in fact, health is the greatest wealth, you go to the cemetery to walk, live well, is the biggest luxury." 」
In the days to come, I hope that each of us can live a little more thoroughly, a little less anticipation, and a little less comparison.
If you can really do it, why not be happy in life?
About the Author:
Su Xiaobei, a young writer and marriage counselor, has been engaged in psychological counseling for 13 years, if you have confusion about marriage and love, you can leave me a message.