Acknowledging his own vulnerability Hailan said: "People like to be strong and do not like to show weakness, in fact, it is easy to be strong, but it is difficult to show weakness." Behind the strong is fear and concealment, and behind the weakness is courage and strength. ”
I've seen a case of psychotherapy before. Karen is a journalist with good grades, but she's always unhappy.
In the past, she always worked like crazy, basically more than eighty hours a week, just because as soon as she left her job, she felt depressed.
Seeing that the situation was getting worse, Karen began to seek help from a psychotherapist.
Karen told the therapist that yesterday when the editor asked her if she had a new story ready, it scared her.
It turns out that Karen is anxious because she can't write new stories every day, but she is unwilling to admit this fact, so she has been forcing herself to overload herself.
The therapist says that the self is too strong, and the self is not so strong, and accepting that you are not strong, the mentality will become better.
After a period of treatment, Karen said to herself, "Dear Karen, everyone is afraid to face their own vulnerable side. I know you want to write great stories, but you should write them out of your own will, not be afraid that you won't be worthless not to write about.
Whatever you are, I love you. ”
After the cure, Karen and the editor negotiated the time for re-submission, from one article a day to one article every three days, and her efficiency increased a lot.
Shi Tiesheng said: "Born to be a human being, it is inevitable that you will be weak and helpless, how heroic and invincible you are, how knowledgeable and knowledgeable you are, how mercurial you are, and the world still has to put you in a position of ignorance and incompetence with its great mystery." ”
But many people in the face of life, or strong, even if exhausted, do not want to accept their vulnerability, always feel that showing weakness is a shameful thing, so always hold the attitude of competing with life, and life to fight to the end.
As everyone knows, the arrogance of life is precisely to put a tight curse on yourself, and one day it will overwhelm you. Only by accepting your own vulnerability can you find a rhythm that truly belongs to you.
1. Embrace your own vulnerability
My friend told me that she had finally released all her vulnerabilities.
A friend is a middle school teacher, and she used to think she had to be strong all the time, to do the best in everything. But at a parent-teacher conference, she shared the experience of a student who became a depressed person because of the pressure of studying, which led to emotional anxiety, insomnia, and neurasthenia.
At the end of the conversation, she was out of shape, and the tears couldn't stop flowing. Parents will continue to host the meeting with other teachers, and friends will come to the side to adjust their emotions. But she couldn't control it anymore, and regardless of the surrounding environment, she began to cry, releasing all the pressures that had been accumulating in her heart for a long time.
After that, she began to reflect, and saw that she had fought for the first place in teaching, written lesson plans day and night, stayed up late to plan activities to write host strings of words in order to do a good job in school literary and artistic programs, and encountered anything that was moving forward, but in fact, she deliberately ignored her fragile emotions.
Zhong Nanshan said: "Half of health is mental health, and half of disease is mental illness. Therefore, when there is a lot of pressure, it is necessary to release emotions, adjust the state, and balance the mentality in order to soothe the mood.
Now she saw herself more clearly, no longer hid her vulnerability, cried when she wanted to, laughed when she wanted, and finally stopped being the indestructible female warrior.
"Antifragility" mentions that in the face of "fragility", we must be "anti-fragile", we can get stronger and more powerful results from random events than unfavorable results, and we must benefit from uncertainty, while in the face of vulnerability, tenacity just keeps ourselves able to resist the impact, not from loss or blow.
The real "anti-fragility" must face their own vulnerability and embrace their own vulnerability, in which confrontation, there is no last resort, some just use growth thinking to embrace the randomly changing objective world.
Let go of the obsession in your past heart, embrace your inner vulnerability, face your anxiety and uneasiness frankly, turn vulnerability into a source of upward strength, develop the ability to heal yourself, and make life more calm.
2. Coexist with fragility
After watching Rock's talk show and understanding his real life experience, I knew how difficult it was for him to adapt to this stage.
Rock, who stopped in the top 6 in the first season of "Talk Show Convention", experienced the uncertainty of his talk show performance every day.
Rock recalls that his second stand-up show in his life was met with a cold scene, saying that his soul had been hurt, and it wasn't until he participated in the first season of "Talk Show Convention" that Rock felt as if he had some recognition.
In the first game, he lost his performance and was extremely frustrated, and after the game, Rock sent a small poem of relief to the talk show actor group, although many people in the group were teasing him, but in that moment, he was soothed.
He integrates his real experiences such as his life in the North Drift, entrepreneurial failure, and broken leg into the "pain" of the past in the form of a paragraph on the stage of a talk show, which is like pouring salt on his own wounds, and if the audience does not understand, the performance's harm will be deeper.
But he says the profession is like that and may never get a stable state. And as Mober Mobersan's Life says: "Man's fragility and strength are beyond imagination." ”
In a long period of self-tug-of-war, Rock confronts his inability to fully control the stage effect, acknowledges and accepts the inevitable fragility and frustration in the process, and gradually finds the most suitable state to coexist with vulnerability.
Carriel, a master of European literature and drama, said: "Because of vulnerability, each of us is a person with a story, and vulnerability is the driving force behind all goodness." ”
Accept everything that fate has given us, accept your weakness in the torrent of fate, and learn to coexist with vulnerability, in order to let your own vulnerability give you the strength to keep moving forward.
Someone said, "If you are too rigid, you will fold." Resisting vulnerability, always being tough with life, and always being invincible will make us unable to see our true selves and miss the inadvertent beauty in life.
As Madeleine Inge said, "When we were children, we thought that when we grew up, we would no longer be vulnerable. Growing up, however, is a process of embracing vulnerability. Being alive is inherently fragile. ”
There are too many things in life that cannot be controlled, temporarily let go of the invincible and indestructible self in the ideal, feel the softness of the heart, look directly at the fragility of the heart, and in the coexistence with the fragility, constantly reconcile with yourself, and constantly gain upward strength.
Our acceptance of vulnerability is never a sign of cowardice, but a stronger one in reconciliation with ourselves.
Text / Xiangcheng