Introduction: The problem of the child is ---- the problem of the parent-child relationship---- is the problem of the relationship between the husband and wife---- it is the problem of the parents themselves---- find out the influence of the original family---- and ultimately solve the problem of the family system.
(Individual cases are allowed to be shared by the parties, and the personal information involved is a synonym)
At more than seven o'clock one night after the National Day holiday this year, Lao Qiang after the meal sent me a WeChat message excitedly and doubtfully:
MC teacher, just at dinner, Xiaoxing took the initiative to hand over the mobile phone to me, saying that in the future, except for Saturdays and Sundays to play, usually handed over to me for safekeeping. He also said that from now on, he would study to catch up with his classmates at work.
"That blew my mind, really? Fake? Lao Qiang seemed to be still in a dream, and the experience of more than a year made him unable to believe that he saw this scene in front of him.
Hearing this news, the scene of seeing the little star for the first time in the old strong house more than a year ago instantly crossed in front of my eyes:
Johnny was recommended by a friend to meet me more than a year ago in August, when I had just returned from an emotional intelligence camp.
At that time, Lao Qiang was very anxious, and once he added my WeChat, he couldn't wait to call me. From his urgent mood and rapid speech, I probably knew the reason for his impatience: Xiaoxing, the son of the first year of junior high school, was super fond of playing with computers. But he is not a general game, he likes to delve into the computer, such as he will use programming to deceive his father - set a small programming for a short time to bombard his father's mobile phone with countless text messages; often like to make up some small game programs for himself to play; in order to prevent his son from playing with the computer, his father set countless passwords, which were cracked by him within a few minutes, and Xiaoxing reversed the password, so that his father could not enter the computer. Often do not complete the homework, but also find a variety of reasons. For a father who controls the family's affairs, he is about to go to junior high school, and his son's current state is how anxious he is, especially the son is getting more and more of his own opinions, and he is more and more reluctant to communicate with his father.
If the child's rebellion is given a full score (the most rebellious) is ten, according to Lao Qiang's preliminary description, the child should be around "seven points". But what Lao Qiang gave me was "very" anxious and worried.
Lao Qiang was anxious to let me give his child a pulse to meet, but at the same time, he had the following worries and doubts:
What should I do if my child doesn't see me?
What should I do if I meet a child who refuses to speak?
Or after meeting for three or two minutes, we went back to our room and left us alone?
I smiled as I listened, it must have been something that The Strong had experienced countless times and was sure to believe it would happen. Before meeting, I only asked him to do one thing.
In order to prevent my son from meeting me and talking to me, I asked Lao Qiang to do something at home first: he had a friend who was coming to the house for dinner to reminisce.
The first time I met, Xiaoxing was sitting in front of a messy sitting area and old computers, which really surprised me: a local native, the home environment, actually like a rags-collecting place, the sofa was full of all kinds of clothes, and the tea set on the coffee table was full of all kinds of children's books and toys, without any extra space. There were also various objects and toys scattered on the ground, and the living room was surrounded by a mess of piles. I was wondering, and Lao Qiang eagerly introduced me to his son ----- Xiaoxing.
At his father's urging, Xiaoxing greeted me with great impatience and shyness, and immediately turned around to tinker with his computer. I glanced at the interface where the program code was written.
I first turned my attention to Xiaoxing's sister, who was going to be in the first grade in September. Dad was complaining about his sister's procrastination again, eating a meal for two hours, always eating a bite and playing for a while. The sister was embarrassed and ran to the side to paint.
Dad said that my sister especially liked to draw, so I talked to her about painting, and my sister talked to me while painting. Suddenly laughed out loud: This is the brother! ”
Xiaoxing was also attracted by his sister's demonic laughter, and looked at the drawing board------ the brother in the painting was playing with the computer bare-chested and sweating. My brother had a good temper and just said: Cut, that's not me.
"Hey, I see that my brother has a very good temper, and I am not angry when I am abused by my sister like this, it seems that my brother must be very protective of my sister, right?" I'll pick up right away. Old Qiang wanted to take over the conversation immediately, so I motioned for him not to make a sound, and then asked my brother: "Hey, Xiaoxing, are you programming this?" Where did you learn that? ”
"I taught myself." Xiaoxing was asked by me, and a smile of joy suddenly appeared on his face.
"Oh, you taught yourself?" In disbelief, I asked again, "What is it for?" ”
"This is the programming of a small game" Xiaoxing seems to be willing to talk about these topics.
"Oh? What kind of game is it? Is it well written? ”
"Not yet, it's just getting started..." Xiaoxing said with great interest
"He also made up a program to trick me," Lao Qiang couldn't help but interject.
"Haha... What is the program? I exaggerated the surprised laughter to enhance Xiaoxing's sense of accomplishment, and sure enough, Xiaoxing said very proudly: "It's a program that bombards mobile phones with text messages" At this time, Xiaoxing was successfully brought into the state by me.
We chatted for more than an hour around this topic. Old Qiang told me afterwards that he felt that his son had said more today than he had said to him for so many years. (Mainly fast paced frequency)
I told Lao Qiang, it's like playing poker, you are now grabbing a "king bomb" in your hand, but your current style of play, not only this king bomb will eventually be abolished, but also you have to play "downstream".
Lao Qiang said that he could understand my literal meaning, but he could not understand the relationship and logic with the education of children.
That night, Lao Qiang said that he had insomnia...........
![When you are stressed enough to collapse, don't talk to others and don't feel very wronged, no one will continue to hurt you, no one cares, the skills are not as good as people, you have to try to make yourself safe[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)