The first time I went to the boss's villa, just entered the door WIFI was automatically connected, and the boss asked casually: "Have you come?" "I said no, first time! The owner never said anything more. small

The first time I went to the boss's villa, just entered the door WIFI was automatically connected, and the boss asked casually: "Have you come?" "I said no, first time! The owner never said anything more. The little nanny greeted me to look at me, and then looked at the boss, for a while I didn't know who to help hang the clothes first, or I was witty, took the boss's clothes to hang up, the boss asked: "So familiar, have you come?" "I said first time. During the meal, someone asked the boss where the vinegar was, and the boss didn't know, so I used to find it out easily, and the boss asked: "Have you come?" "I said first time. At that time, I was a little worried, and I thought I had to pay attention to it, and if I did this again, I would definitely be seen by the boss. But after a while, Xiao Bao got up and saw me, and ran straight over, and I quickly pushed him away and said, "Go and play with Daddy!" Xiao Bao looked at the boss and just couldn't go over, the boss was immediately angry, so he pulled Xiao Bao over, slapped him, and reprimanded: "How disobedient!" I was angry at the time, and I slapped the boss twice in the past, and I pointed at him and said, "Something is coming at me, don't move the child, the child is innocent!" The boss was stunned for a moment, and suddenly smiled: "Don't get excited, I know you are a person who likes children." When the young lady came, she whispered to me, "Don't think about it, the child is really his!" I got angry again, and I slapped her twice: "Be nice to the boss in the future, don't look for me..." After saying that, I left, and the boss knew that I was a person who loved children, and since the children were not mine, I naturally stopped nostalgic for this family.

1. Accompany your wife downstairs to eat KFC. Check out for $98. I touched my pajama pockets and didn't bring any money.

The waiter said: "Your wife is here, you can't run, go home and get it!" "I rushed to the fifth floor and took 100 pieces and rushed back.

Just when I was exhausted and breathless, the waiter greeted me and said, "Hello! A total of 108 yuan. ”

I looked at the big red ticket in my hand and the milk tea in my wife's hand, instantly petrified.

How much you love milk tea, wife! This will not drink or die....

2. The man wanted to take two more days off, so he wrote an application: "Apply for New Year's Day release."

10 days off, please ask the factory director for approval! ”

The next day, the man received a reply: "Disagree! ”

The man had a clever move: "Change the disagreement to the one that agrees."

finish! "Just do it, and quickly change it."

The man took the application for correction and went to the workshop director to apply for leave

continue.

Director: "There's something wrong with you!" ”

Man: "What a problem, the director of the factory did not object!" ”

Director: "If the factory director agrees, he will write: Agree!" But certainly will not write: disagree that that is impossible to drop! ”

3. Once I was idle and bored to buy color drift, actually planted 5 million, and then all day big fish and meat delicious and delicious, all of a sudden fat to two hundred pounds. When I was shopping today, I saw an old man selling slimming plasters, saying that the stickers were effective, invalid refunds, and 7 days can lose 20 pounds. When I got home, I remembered that I forgot to ask where to post, so I opened it to take a look. There are only three words written on the instructions: "Stick to the mouth!" ”

4. A few adults led a child to buy something, the little girl turned around three times, it seemed that there was nothing to buy, her grandfather spoke: pick it at will, and what grandpa bought for you. At this time, the little girl chose four or five toys with a lightning speed, and said while taking them: My grandfather is a delicate person, and I should not be happy if I don't buy him!

5. On weekends, I drive more than 30 million Rolls-Royces to dinner. As a result, just out of the door of the villa, I was chased and scolded by a sister!! I just wanted to open my mouth to scold, and when I saw her appearance, I was fascinated at a glance. My sister said, "I'll fix your car, don't think about anything else." "I made an appointment the next day at the auto repair factory, and my sister brought a middle-aged woman over. The woman's foundation was slightly thicker, the corners of her eyes were raised, and she had done beauty at a glance, and it must have been the mother of this sister-in-law. I said to my sister, "What's the matter, I still brought my sister to make a big noise!" As a result, the sister gave a blank look: "This is my mother!! But the sister's mother was very happy to hear it. After a month, I got my wish to hug the beauty!!

6. I drove my newly purchased Lamborghini to the highway to experience speed and affection. The top speed is 400KM/h, which is almost like flying. On the road, I saw a truck with three words sprayed on its body: Luck Car. I thought to myself that the driver was saying that the car was very lucky, and there was never a car accident. Today I learned that it was a car transporting liquefied gas!

7. In the middle of the night can not sleep want to daughter-in-law affectionate affection, the result of the daughter-in-law woke up two words do not say small fist wheel like a windmill, give me a smash, while beating and scolding: the old woman bought a lot of food, wear, is about to pay the bill, on the TM was woken up by you, you usually always stop me even if it, the old woman has a dream you TM are to make trouble.

8. After graduation, I went to my girlfriend's house to know that she turned out to be a rich woman. For my birthday, she gave me a particularly beautiful black sweater. I happily put it on and went out, full of money! Well, I was back in less than 10 minutes. No way, can't open your mouth to speak, a mouth is a mouthful of hair, and the sticky tongue can't spit it out. I can only use my hands to take it out of my mouth, and I feel bad about my own dry mouth.

9. There is a young woman in the unit who is divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, found another female colleague Amei, she has a strong business ability, if you let her help me do this plan, it will be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

#Funny Famous Scene of the Year # #搞笑段子 #